Chapter 1
CHAPTER
ONE
Home is where the hustler is.
“While y’all sucking dick for free, I’m broke off hoe. See, it pays to be the boss, hoe.”
I bobbed my head to the beat of Trina’s hit song while spitting word for word. It didn’t matter how many years passed; it was forever a classic in my eyes.
The night wind was slow and muggy. Still, it felt good running through my hair.
I’d spent two months in limbo. I’d spent three months on my best friend’s couch.
And, for the last thirty days, I’d been furnishing the home I purchased with half the contents of the duffle I’d left St. Kensington with.
Because the home was only ninety thousand dollars, I managed to pay half upfront. A private bank funded the rest.
I was only two blocks away from Saga. Four blocks from my mother. And, close enough to the University of Huffington at Channing to walk if necessary.
One day soon. I reminded myself.
This pivot was personal. Everything I’d ever wanted for myself and had placed on the back burner, I was coming for.
Ownership.
College degree.
Entrepreneurship.
Independence.
Singlehood.
“Shid, I’m broke off hoe! X-rated, elevated, buck naked,” Saga rapped loudly.
The top was back on the A3 Audi I’d cashed out on. Dooley’s lights danced on our skin. The world felt limitless again.
Just as it had four years ago.
Just as it had before I’d fallen in love.
My life no longer felt performative. Perfection didn’t exist. Only the intention of making memories. Good ones with the people I knew wouldn’t disappoint me. Ever.
“And, I’d probably fuck your daddy if your mammie wasn’t player-hating!”
Tonight was my first night out in the city. I’d kept a low profile as I got my head back in the game. I forced myself to unlearn the suburban habits I’d acquired. They weren’t suitable for Dooley. I wouldn’t survive if I didn’t strip them from my brain.
Out in Dooley, it was a fucking zoo. To make it, you had to become an animal.
A filthy, greedy animal. And, frankly, I wasn’t above being just that.
I’d been a good girl for far too long. It got me nowhere.
With my stash running low and my dreams as big as the moon glaring down on us, I would happily indulge in the necessary to make sure I never depended on a man again.
Boosting.
Scamming.
Pricing my pussy.
Playing these niggas.
Zeek had turned my warm heart ice‐cold. As much as I wanted to blame him, I blamed myself. Because rule number one in my book was to never give a nigga a benefit or a fucking doubt.
PLAY THEM. PLAY THEM ALL. That was rule number two.
“'Cause I’m da baddest bitch!” Saga matched my energy. She, too, was down for whatever. Her two-week notice had been submitted a week and a half ago. It was grind time.
“I’m da baddest bitch, whaaa!”
I pulled into the parking lot of Goose, the newest spot in Dooley. On any given weekend night, you could find everything you were looking for or everything you needed to steer clear of. Old schools on enormous wheels gave the modern whips a run for their money.
The sleek paint jobs and character they possessed had become a lost art in the motor industry over the years. Cars no longer had individuality. Every car wanted to be a cheaper or more luxurious version of another car. The cycle was maddening.
Orange backlights lit the sign on the top of the building.
Black ropes separated the VIP customers from the general public.
Skimpy clothes clung to the bodies of women of all sizes and shades of brown.
Baggy jeans barely stayed up on the asses of men.
Gold teeth, diamonds, and the smell of marijuana greeted us as we pulled up to the valet.
“It’s your turn, bitch. You’ve been put up for years. It’s time to thaw that ice the fuck out,” Saga whispered near my ear.
The music was still blasting, but I heard her clearly. It didn’t matter what was being said; the music wouldn’t come down. It was the law in Dooley.
Nodding my head, I agreed. I pulled down the sun visor as I uncapped my lip gloss. I put on a fresh new coat while watching the attendant approach my car.
He was long.
Slim.
More than likely holding a rocket between his thighs.
Well-manicured.
Clean.
Handsome.
But broke.
“Evening, ladies. That’ll be $20,” he said, clearing his throat.
His nerves were rattled. It was a good sign. The fascination written across his features was an even better sign.
“Evening, handsome,” I purred, stroking his ego.
His chest swelled. His eyes lit up with glee.
I dug into the handbag on my lap. It was partially empty. There wasn’t a bill in sight because I didn’t plan on spending one. My identification, gloss, and sticks of gum were the only contents of my purse.
“Oh God,” I shrieked.
“What’s wrong?” Saga joined, knowing the play without me explaining.
“I– I must’ve forgotten to put my wallet in my purse when I switched it out.”
A line was forming behind us. I didn’t turn around to confirm. It was the constant eye movement of the valet attendant that I used as evidence. There was only one way into the parking lot and one way out of the parking lot.
“Twenty, you said?”
I looked up at him with anguished eyes.
“Yeah.”
“I feel awful for even asking, but do you happen to have twenty dollars to cover my parking for the night? I left my wallet at home an–”
“What’s in it for me, baby girl?”
He lowered his body, placing both elbows on my driver’s side door. He smelled delicious.
“A favor for a favor,” I suggested, sliding my tongue across my lips.
False hope was all I had for niggas. They’d given me and the girls enough of it. It was time I upped the score.
“Sounds like a plan to me. Come on out and leave your keys inside. Let me get your number while you’re at it.”
His unlocked cell was in my hand within seconds. I typed in the Google Voice number I’d acquired in the last four days. It was detrimental to my evolution. Handing out my number was not an option this summer. Everybody would get the alternative.
I punched my number in as I exited my car.
“I didn’t get your name,” he told me, accepting his cell back.
“Heidi,” I lied.
“Nice to meet you, Heidi.”
“Likewise,” I responded with a smile.
I had no intentions of responding to his texts.
I had no intentions of answering his calls.
I had no intentions of sucking his dick.
I had no intentions of being his fool.
My heels collided with the concrete as we made our way across the parking lot. One would believe that the valet would be stationed in front of the club, but it wasn’t. It was on the left side of the parking lot. Though close, it wasn’t close enough to pay twenty dollars.
I’d left Saint merely with the sleeves on my arms. However, my first order of business when I got to Dooley was rebuilding my wardrobe.
Because my priorities were intact, I’d only purchased a few pieces with Zeek’s credit cards stuffed in my wallet.
I maxed them out on furniture I stored just eight minutes from Saga’s house with the knowledge that I would be purchasing a home in Dooley once I had a clear head and icy heart.
After closing and a thorough cleaning, I had my furniture moved into my new home. Every room was full except the guest room. The study that was next to the master bedroom would be turned into my dream closet. The freshly installed shelves and hangers were empty, but that was going to change soon.
A pink halter pushed my breasts up on my chest. The Van Cleef vintage collection necklace and matching bracelet rested against my skin.
On the wrist opposite of the Van Cleef was a diamond bracelet and my Rolex watch.
Because my favorite jewelry rarely left my presence, I’d managed to leave with a few pieces in my possession.
Denim shorts complemented the busty halter. The bottom of my ass cheeks hung out for all the world to see. The thrifted pair of jeans fit me perfectly. Though they were a great look, they were an even better look cut and frayed.
I spent twenty minutes turning the thrifted heels into something fresh out of a Vogue catalog in the nineties.
Strips of hot pink feathers from the fabric store were glued across the only strap on the shoe.
Because there were no straps across the back, I snagged a gold anklet from Eden Saks. It was free of charge.
My hair was pulled into a high ponytail.
Swirls covered my edges. I’d taken my time perfecting them.
Diamond studs adorned my ears. A single flip lifted the ends of my hair.
Prada made my skin smell edible. Parfum oil from Huffington made it feel silky.
The golden particles from the oil made it glow under the midnight stars.
“Pink! You looking good tonight, Pink. Can a nigga buy you a drink or something?”
“Goddamn. Both of y’all fine as fuck.”
“Aye, black. What’s up?”
“Them motherfuckers fine. I can’t make my mind up on which one I’m trying to get down on.”
“Niggas can’t even handle their kids. Know damn well they can’t handle a grown-ass woman,” Saga groaned. “Probably still wait on plates from their mother’s kitchen religiously.”
“And still risking their lives for nickel and dime packs.”
“What’s up, Saga, baby?”
The frown that held Saga’s features captive freed them at once. My eyes narrowed as I watched her eyes smile. The joy was contagious. It quickly took control of her lined lips and long limbs. We were no longer headed in the direction of the club. We were making a pit stop.
“Sully–”
As her arms went around the gold-mouthed, dark-skinned figure, I decided against checking her later.
His smile was as radiant as hers. The natural attraction was obvious.
The two were magnetic, on each other like flies on leftovers.
I made a mental note to question her later about the mysterious gentleman.
He was not a Dooley native, but he didn’t seem to be out of his comfort zone.
Even if Dooley wasn’t his neck of the woods, he was all good in our hood.
“I thought maybe my eyes were deceiving me.”