Chapter 10
Daniela
I sit in the backyard, gazing at the slivers of lake peeking through the trees.
It’s peaceful out here. The happy couple went to the gym together, and that was an easy pass for me.
I don’t like gyms. They smell weird and the whole experience always feels awkward.
Just a bunch of bros way too into themselves, or way too into checking other people out, usually.
I’ve been awkwardly hit on a time or two in the past.
Jackson left yesterday to stay with his grandparents for a week. Liam’s parents are getting older, but they still spend as much time with him as they can.
Sitting in the big, empty house felt strange, so I came outside to reflect—or whatever it is people do when they enjoy nature. Cocoa lounges happily beside me, and I lean over to pet her soft head. She looks at me appreciatively, then closes her eyes, basking in the sun. I think she gets me.
I could be working on the online class I need to get done to maintain my teaching license, but I haven’t found the motivation for that so far this summer. I really need to stop dragging my feet.
I feel like I’m in a funk, and I don’t know what my problem is lately. I’ve mostly healed from my past trauma. I mean, it will always be a part of me, but it doesn’t consume me the way it used to. Over the years, I’ve turned myself into a tough-ass bitch, and I refuse to ever be a victim again.
At first, I didn’t want to tell anyone. I was too afraid, and a little ashamed.
I didn’t even tell Layla exactly what happened at the time, but she knew that something bad had happened.
She never pushed. Eventually, I opened up to her.
Then to my mom, who was rightfully heartbroken.
After that, I started therapy and joined a support group.
That group showed me how lucky I actually was.
Some people had endured years of abuse and couldn’t even stand to be touched anymore.
Others coped by taking control and being extremely free with their bodies, which I respected.
I think I landed somewhere closer to the latter.
I don’t have issues getting physical with someone—I just have emotional trust issues.
And that stems from more than just that one horrible night from my past.
I guess I’m not as fully healed as I like to think I am, because now I refuse to be open to an emotional relationship. I’m usually in it for the physical side of things, and once I get bored of that, I run.
A snapping sound from the trees jolts me out of my sun-soaked thoughts. I whip my head toward the noise. I don’t see anything, but another rustling sound follows from the same area. The trees are thick that way, which doesn’t make me feel any better. Cocoa sits up but doesn’t bark.
Then I hear it again.
Without thinking, I bolt inside like a complete coward, pulling the glass door open and hopping in. Cocoa follows.
Liam gave me a whole lecture on black bear safety last night that slightly freaked me out, so it’s possible I’m being a little dramatic now.
He did say they usually avoid humans and that attacks are rare, but he still wanted me to be informed.
It didn’t make me feel all that much better, to be honest.
So much for being the tough bitch I pride myself on being.
I glance down and realize I lost a sandal in the chaos. I’m not going back for it.