Chapter 44
Dex
I’m falling hard.
I’ve never been hit quite like this. This has the potential to absolutely destroy me.
It’s like as soon as Daniela opened up and finally told me what she was going through, the floodgates opened. Whatever barrier was between us is gone now, wiped completely out. And there’s no going back. I won’t let her build that wall up again.
“Let’s just order something to go…take it back to your place?” Daniela grins beside me, her long, tan legs stretched out, looking carefree. It might be my favorite look on her so far. How could I say no to that?
“Okay. ”
She picks the place and calls in the order, then we wait a few minutes before heading in to grab it. We got here fast.
“Have you ever thought about leaving this place? Moving somewhere else?” she asks.
“Not really. I left for college for a few years…but I love it here. I guess if I ever found something I love more…Never say never.”
She nods beside me. “I can see the appeal.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“So…I heard you haven’t dated anyone in…a while. Is that true?”
I release an exaggerated breath. “Uhh. Yeah. Pretty much.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t know. Why haven’t you?”
“Who says I haven’t?”
I side-eye her.
“Okay. I haven’t. You caught me.”
“Truthfully?” I look at her. Her green eyes are big, expectant.
“Even before you, I had given up for a while. I know I have a lot to offer but…I started to think it wasn’t in the cards for me.
Like I didn’t deserve it. And then I met you…
” I pause, glancing at her again. “All that shutting you out I did at the beginning of summer—I was being an immature, selfish idiot. I was trying to protect myself…from you. ”
“Dex. You deserve the world. I’m sor—” she starts to mumble.
“No. It’s okay.” I shake my head. “You shutting me out sucked, but I wasn’t mad at you.
You didn’t owe me anything then. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t hope for a while that you’d come around…
Because honestly, from the moment I met you I knew this was something special.
And I couldn’t get you out of my head since, as much as I tried to fight it.
Or deny my pull toward you. So, no. I haven’t dated a single person since we met. ”
“Dex…” Her chest heaves in and out deeply, and she’s looking at me like…I don’t know. But whatever it is, I like it. I want her to always look at me like that.
I save her from having to respond. Leaning in, I place my hand on the silky skin of her thigh, and the other cups her face.
I move in slowly, holding her gaze, and then our mouths meet.
Her full, cherry-flavored lips send me into a frenzy.
My hand travels farther up her thigh and I’m instantly hard. Fuck.
I want to devour her right here in this truck. I don’t care if it’s broad daylight and we’re parked directly in front of a busy restaurant. If I keep going another second, I won’t be able to control myself. The moans that escape her mouth, breathing into mine, are setting my blood on fire.
I pull back, looking at her again. There’s a heat in her eyes that matches how I feel, but a silent, reluctant agreement passes between us that now is not the time .
But I’m still burning.
I clear my throat, still holding the side of her head in my hand. I lean my forehead against hers and let out a low, frustrated growl. “What are you doing to me?”
“What are you doing to me ?”
I release a breathy laugh, my hand still playing with her hair. “You’re lucky we’re in a crowded parking lot.”
“Am I, though? I feel pretty unlucky right now.”
I finally let go of her, reluctantly, and lean back into my seat.
“Tell me something,” she says, checking her lips and hair in the mirror.
“Like what?”
“I don’t know. Anything.”
“That day I saw you at the bar…I stood in the doorway far too long, watching like a creep, honestly. I saw you laughing and joking with the bartender, and I just…got mad. I left in a jealous rage.”
“Aw, you were jealous?”
“Yes, Dani. I was. I swore if I had to hear about you hooking up with some other dude while you were in town…”
“You would what?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, good thing we don’t have to find out.” She leans in, grabs the back of my head gently, and places another soft kiss on my lips. It sends a zing through me.
But we leave it at that. For now .
She leans back again and smiles at me, saying nothing, but her eyes are saying everything.
Then she looks down and picks at a rip in her shorts, avoiding my eyes. “I don’t want you to think I’m some damaged charity case, because I’m not. But you want to know more…you want me to open up?”
I nod and take her hand in mine.
“My friend Miles…the one who killed himself?” She gestures toward the tattoo. “I met him at a support group in college. For assault survivors.”
My stomach drops. Anger flares hot within me. Who the fuck would dare lay hands on her? I’ll hurt them.
“Please don’t pity me,” she says, shaking her head and meeting my gaze with fierce intensity. “A shitty thing happened to me in the past, I’ve healed, and it’s not something that I need to talk about all the time.”
“Who the fuck—”
She cuts me off, shaking her head again. “Don’t, Dex. Please. It was one time. The guy is dead from a drug overdose, and I’ve left it in my past. There are people far worse off than me. And I’ve done a ton of therapy, which has really helped me feel…normal again.”
I stare straight ahead, forcing myself to take a deep breath, trying to reel in the rage and shock.
“He’s really dead?”
“Yes,” she answers with a whisper. “I didn’t press charges at first…
I was afraid to tell anyone. I didn’t want to face it.
But after a few years of processing and he aling…
I worked up the nerve. I was going to file an official report.
But I looked him up first and…well, I found out through some social media stalking that he died of an overdose.
So, I left it alone. Why add to his family’s troubles… ”
“You’re the strongest damn person I know,” I tell her, facing her again.
“I’m really not. It’s all false bravado.”
“It’s not. I don’t have to worry about half the shit you do.
I don’t know what it feels like to have to worry about walking home alone, or being out in the dark, or going to a fucking party just trying to have a good time.
And yet you’re still out here living your life, carrying yourself like a fearless badass. ”
She shrugs. “I’m like ninety percent badass. I still get scared sometimes.”
I pull her into a hug, stroking her hair.
“I’m proud of you.” I lean back to cup her face, looking into her eyes. “But if you ever feel like you’re not carrying it well…I want you to know you can tell me. Anything, anytime. Could you do that?”
She hesitates for a moment, an expression on her face that I can’t read.
Sometimes I feel like she needs the world’s biggest hug, but at the same time, I have absolute confidence that she can stand up for herself in any situation.
“Yes,” she whispers.
“Promise?”
“I promise.”
A few minutes later we grab the food and head home.