Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
HAZEL
I was working late this week to get everything ready for the after-school program. It meant that I couldn't spend much time with Brady in the evenings.
The story about the new program hit the papers on Monday, and I saw a few posts about it online too. Other libraries in Florida had reached out to me to ask questions about it, and now I was scheduled to speak at a few library board meetings later in the month.
I never anticipated that one program would turn into a cause, but I was excited to help the program grow.
Brady had submitted our engagement information to the video streaming platform to apply for the family designation. We hadn't heard anything yet, but I was hopeful it would work out for him.
Everything was going well, and I could only hope that it would continue.
Tonight we were going over to his family's house for dinner. I was looking forward to relaxing and celebrating the success of the after-school program.
On the way over, Brady seemed tense.
"Is everything okay?" I asked him.
"Of course."
But his answer came a little too quickly. "Are you sure?"
"I'm sure."
"It's just that you seem tense."
Brady sighed. "I'm not sure that Dad is going to like the publicity around the after-school program."
I frowned. "Isn't publicity a good thing? Especially when you're supporting a good cause?"
"I can never tell with my dad. If he can find a way to be disappointed in me, then he will." His shoulders lowered.
My forehead creased. "I didn't realize that your involvement would cause problems with your family. If I'd known, I never would have accepted it."
"How could we know that the reporters would be there and it would get statewide attention?"
"Not me. That's for sure. I never intended for it to be something I'd need to travel across the state to train people for."
He glanced over at me. "I'm so proud of you. You had an idea for something, and you made it happen. Now you're influencing libraries across the state to do the same."
"I don't know about that," I said, uncomfortable with the praise.
Brady glanced over at me. "You're amazing."
"Thank you, Brady."
He pulled up to his parents' house and put the truck in Park. "My brothers aren't here."
"Oh? I thought this was a family dinner."
"Maybe it's just for us."
I had a sense of foreboding as we got out of the truck and headed inside. Once Brady opened the door, we headed to the kitchen where his mom was checking whatever was cooking in the oven.
Jonathan approached us first.
"Now, Jon, you promised you wouldn't bombard them as soon as they walked into the house."
Jonathan addressed Brady. "I didn't know that you were going to put my name behind the library after-school program.
Interesting that he'd said Kingston was his name, as if it wasn't his family's name too, and I didn't like his tone when he mentioned the program.
Brady's forehead creased. "I didn't realize it would garner this much attention."
"It's going to get more attention when it gets out that you're funding your fiancée's causes."
Brady's frown deepened. "That's not what happened."
"You're supporting her program." Jonathan waved at me.
Brady tipped his head to the side. "Are you saying that I shouldn't have done it? I thought you wanted us to have causes to support. To do things that were important to us."
"You had to know how this was going to look," Jonathan scoffed.
"I've been friends with Hazel forever. I didn't think it would be a problem," Brady said.
"You can't give money to friends or family. It's a bad idea," Jonathan persisted.
This was a family conversation and incredibly uncomfortable. "I should go."
"I asked you not to bring this up," Joy grumbled to Jonathan and then to me. "Please stay."
"You wouldn't need to support the library going forward.
I can talk to the board about the need for additional funding.
" That would mean that I might lose the program.
It was incredibly disappointing. "I really think you two need to have this conversation without me. Thank you for your hospitality, Joy."
I turned and walked out of the house, needing fresh air.
The front door opened before I could step off the porch.
"Hazel—don't go," Brady said.
I turned to face him. "You need to have this conversation with your dad."
He stuffed his hands in his pockets. "I don't like that you're leaving."
"This is a business conversation. I shouldn't be involved."
Brady sighed.
"I'll see you later," I said, having no desire to walk back into that house. I thought I'd be accepted as part of the Kingston family, but it was clear that was never going to happen.
"Why don't you take the truck?" Brady dug his keys out of his pocket and tried to hand them to me.
All I could think about was Jonathan saying that Brady shouldn't have given me money. That it looked bad. And now Brady was trying to let me drive the company truck.
I wanted to say that Jonathan wouldn't approve, but I didn't want to make the situation worse. "That's okay. I'd prefer to walk. I'll see you later."
I stepped off the porch, and this time, Brady didn't stop me. I couldn't help but feel like an outsider. Jonathan was upset that Brady had helped me. He said it was because it looked like a favor, but it felt like something far worse. Like I wasn't part of the family. That I never would be.
It was something about the way he'd separated me from Brady and talked about me like I wasn't there. Would Jonathan ever accept me as part of the family? Did it matter when our relationship wasn't real?
I walked on the path that pedestrians shared with bikers and ran parallel to the road. It meandered around the island, occasionally ducking beneath palm trees. Normally I enjoyed walks, but today, I was gutted.
I'd lost my parents in an accident. I was worried I'd lose more people that were important to me. Maybe that's why I was hesitant to cross the line with Brady. It would hurt too much to lose anyone else.
Would I always be an outsider? As much as Brady's parents acted like they were happy for us, Jonathan had always been reserved. Maybe he felt like I wasn't right for Brady.
If that was the case, then there was no way we had a future. I couldn't marry their son if they weren't okay with that.
It was too small of a town, and there wasn't enough island for us to all live here in harmony if one person wasn't okay with it.
By the time I arrived home, I was bathed in sweat and my feet hurt because I wasn't used to walking long distances in sandals.
Inside, I stripped off my clothes and got into the tub in the master bedroom. I'd started to think of this bathroom as mine. But it wasn't. Neither was the bedroom or the house. This was all temporary. And it was time I started distancing myself from Brady.
It was a nice fantasy while it lasted. Even if we finished out this farce of an engagement, there wasn't a future for me and Brady. His family would never be okay with me.
The truth hurt. His family would never be mine.
There was another pesky thought I couldn't dismiss. Did Brady feel sorry for me? Is that why he befriended me all those years ago? Was I a charity case to him?
Old insecurities roared to the surface.
When my skin had wrinkled, I got out of the bath, not feeling any better than when I got in.
Brady still wasn't home, and I wasn't sure what to think about that.
That's when I realized I'd missed dinner.
I was supposed to eat at his parents. I put together a sandwich and ate it standing in the kitchen.
I tried to think about what I'd say to Brady when he returned home, but I couldn't formulate a plan other than creating distance, taking a step back from our relationship, and sticking to the plan.
I was exhausted from the emotional turmoil of the day, and since Brady wasn't home, I gathered my things and got into Dalton's bed. Recently, he'd removed all his belongings except for the bed. I'd washed the sheets, probably because I knew something like this would happen.
I crawled into the unfamiliar bed, tossing and turning for hours, expecting Brady to come home, but he never did.
I wasn't sure what it meant. But every time I woke up, and glanced at the clock, I'd check for Brady's truck. It was never there.
I finally slept a bit longer in the morning, but then the alarm went off, and I had to get ready for work.
I showered in the guest bathroom. I was unnerved by the untouched bed in the master. I hurried to work without eating breakfast. I was desperate to get out of the house. I wanted to stop thinking about our current situation, even if it were only for a few hours.
At work, everyone was buzzing about the start of the new program and the attention it was garnering.
But I had a pit in my stomach because it felt like a lie.
Without the Kingstons' support, we wouldn't have a program, and he was probably going to withdraw it.
Everything I'd worked so hard for would fall apart.
I'd have to convince the library to allocate additional monies to the program, or I'd have to end it when the initial contribution ran out.
But for now, it was funded, even if the source wasn't happy about it. I'd do the best I could so that I could prove how good the program was. Who knew? Maybe other libraries would adopt it, and I'd eventually get a job at one of those.
Maybe I'd leave the island where I wouldn't have to run into Brady and his family. For the first time, it sounded like a good idea. Could I leave the island that had always been my home? The last place I lived with my parents? And then my grandparents?
I never saw myself leaving, even when I asked Brady what he would do if I pursued employment elsewhere. It wasn't a serious consideration, but now I couldn't imagine staying here if we broke up.