Chapter 3
TAYLOR
As I rode through the town, the nerves in my stomach kicked up a notch at the sight of so many familiar places. Every street corner, every bench seat, the sidewalks, the wharf, they all held memories. Memories I’d spent a long time trying to forget.
It was summer, the sweltering heat relentless, and the ferry had just come in, purging another batch of sandal-clad tourists to swarm through the picturesque town and historical paths around the island.
You could drive across the bridge to Pine Harbor, as I’d just done, but most tourists preferred the scenic trip on the old ferries that shuffled between the mainland and the numerous islands off the coast of Maine.
My family lived on the other side of town.
Ten minutes along the coast, towards the northern point of the island.
My mother, no doubt alerted by the sound of my bike coming down the long, treelined driveway, was waiting for me beside the old garage before the noise of the engine had even died away.
As I slowed down and parked, I took a moment to surreptitiously study her through the visor of my helmet.
In two months, she’d be turning fifty-six, but she looked at least a decade younger.
Thanks to the yoga she did every morning and the fact that she never sat still, she had a figure most twenty-year-olds would envy, and the cute little strapless playsuit she was wearing to combat the summer heat showed off her toned and tanned legs.
Only the fine lines around her eyes and the graying-silver streaks in her hair gave away her true age.
‘Sorry,’ I pre-empted, pulling my helmet off.
‘I know I’m late, but I had to sort out cover at work and organize someone to water my plants.
’ This wasn’t true. I’d actually forgotten about my plants until I was halfway here.
I’d stopped buying myself houseplants years ago because, despite my best intentions, the damned things were more fragile than a new-born baby and had a tendency to die on me, despite my best efforts.
Occasionally someone who didn’t know me well enough would gift me one.
If it thrived on neglect, it was welcome to stay.
If not, it soon joined its predecessors in the bin.
‘I can’t believe you rode that thing here,’ she tutted. ‘I can’t believe you’re still riding it at all.’
I slung my helmet over the handlebars and started peeling off my gloves.
Now that I’d stopped riding, the lack of a breeze to cool me down meant my bike safety clothing suddenly felt oppressively heavy, and I could feel sweat pooling in the curve of my lower spine.
‘Bit of an expensive garage ornament if I don’t. ’
‘You know how I feel about it.’
‘I do.’
‘Come here.’ She pulled me in for a hug and I held my breath against the onslaught of her perfume.
‘You’re too thin,’ she said.
‘Is there such a thing?’
‘Yes.’ She pulled back, holding me at arm’s length and looking me up and down. ‘It’s not healthy. And look at those shadows underneath your eyes. You look tired. I thought it was sorted.’
‘It is,’ I lied. ‘But someone woke me up in the middle of the night, remember?’
‘If I knew you were going to ride this thing here I would have gone with another option.’
‘I thought you said you had no other option.’
‘There’s always another option.’
I picked my helmet back up. ‘In that case, I’ll see you later. Enjoy the cruise.’
‘Don’t be silly.’ She took it off me. ‘You’re here now.’
‘Where is he?’ I asked her, as we linked arms and walked side by side along the track that led to the house. The trees were tall, even more so than I remembered. But then a decade worth of growth would do that.
‘Inside, settled into his armchair with the fan on.’
‘What’s the damage?’
‘Bruises, mostly. Tenderness. Damaged pride.’
‘Can’t imagine that’s helped his mood any.’
‘He says he doesn’t need a babysitter.’
‘We’re in agreement then.’
‘I told him you’re just here to keep him company.’
‘How did that go down?’
‘Not well,’ she admitted.
I shook my head. ‘This is going to be a hell of a long three weeks. I hope you’ve left the key for the liquor cabinet somewhere handy.’
She snorted. ‘Good luck finding anything in there. There’s only your father’s old spirit bottles, and they’re mostly full of water now.’
‘Ah.’ My face crinkled up sheepishly. ‘You knew about that?’
‘That you and your brother used to siphon off the spirits and water down what was left? Of course I knew.’
‘You never said anything.’
‘Would it have stopped you?’
‘Probably not.’
‘Exactly.’ She smiled, squeezing my arm. ‘It’s good to have you home, baby girl. Despite the circumstances.’
‘This is just temporary,’ I reminded her.
‘I know.’
‘Then don’t smile like that.’
‘Like what?’
‘Like you know something I don’t. Like you’re plotting something.’
‘Me? Plotting?’
‘Mom.’
She stopped walking and put her hands on her hips. ‘I didn’t push Ray down the stairs in order to get you here, if that’s what you’re insinuating.’
‘I know you wouldn’t stoop that low.’
‘Good. All I’m saying is that this place…’ She lifted her face to the sky and breathed the salty air in deeply, smiling as she exhaled again. ‘It gets under your skin. Reminds you what’s really in your heart.’
I groaned. ‘That’s… wow. I forgot how cheesy you can be.’
‘Am I cheesy though? Or am I just right?’
‘Definitely cheesy. Hallmark card cheesy.’
‘Nothing wrong with a good Hallmark card.’
We’d reached the end of the driveway and emerged onto the large lawn that surrounded the house.
A load of washing flapped in the breeze on the washing line on the back lawn.
There was the sweet smell of rose in the air from the pink flowers blooming near the deck.
Despite myself, I felt a jolt of happiness.
My childhood home. She’d had it repainted since the last time I was here.
The walls were a crisp, clean white, the shutters around the windows navy blue.
Built in the nineteen forties, the six-bed, four-bath house was two stories high, and just over three thousand square feet in total.
Sitting on four and a half acres, most of which was covered in trees, the house perched right above the beach.
This far out of town and with the nearest neighbor two acres away, we were lucky enough to have it to ourselves.
The beach itself was sandy, but the shoreline was rocky.
At low tide, it was dotted with rock pools and a natural swimming hole.
I could smell the water, hear it lightly lapping against the rocks.
Inexplicably, I felt the need to feel it on my skin, even though I hadn’t swum in the ocean in years.
‘House looks good,’ I told her.
‘Thanks. I had Hudson and his boy paint it two summers ago. They replaced a few worn boards, tidied the whole thing up for me.’
Hudson’s ‘boy’, Owen, was my age. ‘How is Owen?’
‘Good. Married. Couple of kids.’
‘Who’d he marry?’
‘Out-of-towner.’
‘She nice?’
‘I haven’t had a lot to do with her, but seems so. Stays at home with his kids.’
‘Her kids too, I’d imagine.’
‘Obviously not a career woman.’
‘Because there’re so many careers on offer here,’ I drawled sarcastically.
‘Life is what you make of it, Taylor.’
‘You sound like Forrest Gump.’
‘He’s a very wise man.’
‘He’s a character in a movie, Mom.’
‘Whatever. Anyway, they’re always advertising for new realtors. And like I said, there are plenty of empty shops in town.’
‘And the fact that they’re empty isn’t a giant red flag to you?’
‘No. Just people bringing the wrong businesses to town. Like the lady who opened that…’ She waved a hand in the air as she tried to think of the words.
‘I told you about it – she had crystals and those little stone buddha statues. Dragons. Angels. Books about mythical creatures and self-help books written by ladies with too much money. No call for any of that around here. Three months she lasted before she upped up and left in the middle of winter.’
‘I don’t blame her. Winter here can suck the life out of you.’
‘Don’t be so dramatic. Anyway, she didn’t leave because of the weather.’
‘Whatever her reasons, good on her for trying.’
‘Now, an art gallery/tattoo studio,’ she said pointedly. ‘That’d go down well with the tourists and the locals.’
I smiled at her sweetly. ‘The second you’re back, I’m leaving.’
‘We’ll see.’ She checked her watch. ‘I need to finish packing.’
‘You’re not packed?’ I fished my phone out of an inside pocket on my jacket and checked the time myself. ‘Jesus, Mom. Talk about leaving it to the last second.’
‘Don’t stress. It’s just a couple of last-minute things.’
‘It’s not me who’ll be stressing if you miss your flight.’
We both turned at the sound of a car horn as a silver Nissan pulled up at the garage. My mother’s friends, colorful in the loose, gaudy clothing they’d chosen in preparation for the cruise and an unlimited buffet, spilled out and hurried along the path towards us.
‘Brace yourself,’ my mother said, smiling brightly at them.
‘Taylor!’ Angela said, ignoring my body language and pulling me in for a hug. My mother’s perfume was joined by hers, something bold and in your face, a bit like she was. She pulled back and held me at arm’s length. Looked me up and down. ‘You’re too thin.’
Mom nodded, pleased to have it confirmed. ‘That’s exactly what I said. Give me a second, girls, I just need to say goodbye to Ray and grab my things.’
‘OK, Moira,’ Margaret said, with the look of someone who knew my mother and her timekeeping all too well. ‘But don’t take too long. We have a long drive ahead of us and you know I like to check in early.’
‘Yes, Margaret,’ my mother replied, rolling her eyes at me before running up the stairs at the side of the house. ‘While you wait, help me convince Taylor she needs to move back here.’
I gaped after her, open-mouthed, although really, I shouldn’t have been surprised she’d thrown me under the bus. When it came to getting her own way, my mother could be ruthless.
‘You should move back here,’ Ellen said. ‘They clearly don’t have proper food in the city, and men like a bit of meat on a woman.’
‘Not Adam,’ I told her. ‘His new girlfriend lifts weights. She’s very… sinewy.’
‘It’s terrible what happened there,’ Margaret said, shaking her head. ‘Just terrible.’
‘I mean, it wasn’t great,’ I agreed. ‘But I think there are probably worse things that happen in the world every day.’
‘Don’t give up hope,’ Angie said. ‘He still might come back to you.’
It was my turn to snort. ‘I bloody hope not.’
‘You don’t mean that.’
‘Hell yes, I do. Why would I want him back?’
‘Because he’s your husband, and because you two were always so good together.’
‘People really need to stop saying that.’
‘Why? It’s true.’
‘You guys have no idea.’
‘So tell us.’
I squeezed my eyes shut, decided it was time to play a little dirty myself. ‘You know Mom hasn’t actually finished packing, right?’
It worked. As Margaret squealed indignantly and headed inside to corral my mother, followed by the others, I took a deep breath, stared up at the house and braced myself. I can do this, I told myself. But the nerves were back in full force.