Chapter 20
JACK
I couldn’t sleep that night, and it wasn’t just because the summer heat was stifling.
It was my thoughts that kept me tossing and turning, mulling over and over Ray’s words.
Was he right? I mean, what wasn’t there to like about Taylor?
She was funny, caring and kind, judging by the way she’d worried about Casey after her fall.
Not to mention of course, that she was gorgeous and every time I was around her, I felt ridiculously nervous and jittery.
It seemed to get worse the more I got to know her, and that could only mean one thing.
Ray was right.
I liked Taylor.
As in, liked.
It was a startling thing to admit to myself.
After everything that had happened with Alex and Hannah and moving here to Pine Harbor, I had closed that part of my life off.
Ignored it. Tried not to let myself think about love or romance.
I made sure to keep myself busy so that I could ignore the occasional sense of loneliness that crept in, and the little pangs inside that reminded me there was a part of life that I was missing out on.
Not just love, but friendship. Companionship.
Having that someone special to come home to.
To confide in. I missed being someone’s reason to smile.
But Taylor… what was the point? She was only here for a few weeks and then she’d be gone, back to her life in New York again.
It didn’t matter if seeing her made me feel goofy inside, or that for some bizarre, unknown reason, since I’d met her, she was the first person I thought of when I woke up, and the last person I thought about as I drifted off to sleep.
It made no difference that she’d started invading my thoughts at inopportune moments, like the other day when I was in a staff meeting and mid-sentence I’d remembered that first night I met her and she was nothing but a silhouette in the dark against a starry sky, and I’d mused how special it was that we’d got to know each other by voice only.
And then someone had coughed and reminded me that I was supposed to be talking about rosters and overtime and I couldn’t believe my thoughts had just drifted off like that. It just wasn’t like me at all.
I went for a morning jog along the beach to try and sweat out the angst. I hadn’t felt angsty about a girl since I was seventeen years old and madly in love with Deborah Martin, a gorgeous, blonde cheerleader at my school.
Unfortunately for me, she only dated jocks and had no idea I even existed.
Hence the angst. The jog certainly made me sweat, but it did nothing to banish Taylor from my mind.
I showered, and afterwards I stood there, with my towel wrapped around my waist, and stared at myself in the mirror.
‘Ray’s right,’ I told myself. ‘You are pathetic. Since when did you let someone get inside your head like this?’ I pulled the lid off my deodorant and rolled it onto my armpits.
‘You like someone, you ask them out. That’s how it works.
You’ve never been afraid to ask a woman out before.
So what if she’s only sticking around for a few weeks?
It’s not like you’re planning on marrying her.
Go out for a meal, enjoy yourself for a change.
’ I put the deodorant down and ran a hand along the stubble on my jaw, deciding it wasn’t too bad and would be fine for another day.
‘She’ll either say yes, or she’ll say no,’ I pointed out the obvious.
‘And if she does say no, nothing lost. Life goes back to the way it was and you can stop thinking about her all the damn time.’
Which was a very good point.
‘Also…’ I pulled a face as I reached to flick off the light switch. ‘Since when did you become the kind of guy who talks to himself in the bathroom mirror?’
At the fork in the driveway I took a left instead of a right, parked my truck behind the garage where her motorcycle was, and headed on foot towards the main house.
She opened the door thirty seconds after I knocked, wearing tiny denim shorts and a white tank top.
In her hand was a slice of watermelon. I could see the juices running down her arm.
‘Oh,’ she said, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. ‘It’s you.’
Which wasn’t exactly the warm welcome I’d been hoping for.
‘Go out with me,’ I blurted.
Her eyebrows shot up. ‘Excuse me?’
‘On a date, I mean. Well not a date. We don’t have to label it. We can just call it two friends going out for a meal.’
‘A meal.’
I nodded. ‘Yeah, you know that thing people do? Eating?’
‘Are you asking me or telling me?’
‘Asking of course.’
‘Because it sounded more like an order.’
I replayed the last thirty seconds in my mind. ‘Oh. It did kind of, didn’t it?’
‘Yeah. It did.’
‘It wasn’t supposed to. I guess I’m more nervous than I thought.’
‘What are you nervous about?’
‘It’s been a while since I’ve done this,’ I admitted. ‘I’m a little rusty.’
‘This?’
‘Yeah, asked someone out.’
‘For a meal, not a date.’
‘Yeah. Well?’
She shrugged. ‘I suppose I have to eat. And you’d probably be slightly better company than Ray.’
‘Wow. Don’t sound too enthusiastic.’
‘I’m still mad at you.’
‘Come on, seriously? I might have thrown you under the bus with Celia, and for that I am sorry, but I really do think your tattoo stall will be a hit at the festival.’
‘Of course it’ll be a hit,’ she said, rolling her eyes. ‘That’s not the point.’
‘What is?’
‘You said it yourself, you threw me under the bus with Celia.’
‘And you emerged unscathed and triumphant,’ I pointed out.
‘Mm.’ She leaned against the doorframe and regarded me through narrowed eyes.
‘The whole town was on your side, not hers. That had to have stung her.’
‘Oh, undoubtedly. She’ll be furious, with me and with you for suggesting it.’
I shrugged. ‘I’m not scared of her. People like that are enjoying life for the wrong reasons, in my experience.’
‘Meaning?’
‘They thrive on power, on control, on keeping up the appearance of being important. More important than everyone else. It’s trivial and pointless.
In my opinion. At the end of the day, people don’t really respect them.
They concede to them, to keep the peace.
Sometimes they even fear them. But it doesn’t make them any more of a person than anyone else. ’
‘Interesting take.’
‘Thanks. I’ve always been interested in the human psyche. Figuring out what makes people tick.’
She lifted her chin, her eyes a challenge. ‘Figured me out yet?’
‘I’m working on it,’ I said gently.
The earnestness in my voice made her smile slip, just for a second. I watched as she swallowed.
‘Well good luck with that,’ she said. ‘I’m still trying to figure it out myself.’
‘What is with you and Celia, anyway?’ I asked.
She looked sad and vulnerable, and it made me want to step forward and wrap my arms around her like I had at the top of the cliff, but I didn’t have the adrenaline excuse this time, and I wasn’t sure if she’d welcome it.
‘I mean, I understand the whole mother-in-law cliché, but is that all it is?’
‘Let’s just say, as far as she was concerned, I was never good enough for her precious son, and she made damn sure I never forgot that.’
I pulled a face. ‘That can’t have been an easy family dynamic to be a part of.’
‘I wouldn’t exactly call Celia family. She’s never felt like that to me, and I’m pretty sure she feels the same way.’
‘Well, it’s good that she’ll be out of your life soon. In that regard.’
She smiled again, and it was like the sun had come through the clouds. ‘That day can’t come quick enough.’
‘So…’ I stared at her hopefully. ‘Dinner?’
‘Why not. I think I can handle being in your presence for an entire meal.’
‘I’m flattered.’
‘You should be.’
‘I’ll pick you at eight?’
‘Or I could just meet you there.’
‘I want to do this properly. Humor me.’
‘I thought it wasn’t a date.’
‘It’s not.’
‘Where are we going?’
‘I happen to know this great place, good atmosphere, really good food. The manager’s a really cool guy, or so I’ve heard. Buff, is the word I think I’ve heard someone call him.’
‘You’re never going to let me forget about that, are you?’
I grinned at her. ‘Nope.’