Chapter 22 #2
‘Oh.’ She blinked. ‘Oh my God. I am so sorry. I’ve completely misread the situation, haven’t I?
I’m so stupid. Of course you guys don’t want me gatecrashing this, whatever this is.
’ She pushed back her chair with a loud scrape.
‘I’m normally much better at reading social cues, Taylor, I promise.
I think it’s just the loneliness, since Alex died.
It’s made me clingy, and I don’t really have many friends left, apart from Jack.
But still, I shouldn’t be trying to latch on to you guys when you clearly don’t want me here. I’m absolutely mortified.’
‘Please don’t be,’ Taylor reassured her. ‘You’re not stupid at all.’
‘That’s nice of you to say, but I should have realized that I wasn’t welcome.’
‘That’s not what I said, or meant,’ I told her.
She blinked again and I could see that her eyes were glassy, as if she was trying to hold back tears.
‘Forget you ever saw me,’ she said, pushing in her chair, then forced a little laugh. ‘Hell, forget I even exist. Enjoy your evening, and I’m sorry again.’ She bumped into the table as she turned to go. ‘I can’t even walk like a normal person.’
Taylor and I exchanged a look, and I knew immediately what she was thinking.
The problem was, she didn’t know Hannah the way I did.
How adept she was at manipulating feelings.
Case in point, she was making us feel guilty when neither of us had done anything wrong.
But I knew Hannah wasn’t doing it to be malicious. She genuinely was lonely.
‘Wait,’ Taylor called out. ‘You can join us.’
Hannah froze, turning slowly, wiping a non-existent tear from her cheek as she did. ‘I don’t want to intrude.’
Taylor smiled. ‘You won’t be.’
Hannah looked at me. ‘Jack?’
Clearly, Taylor was kind to waifs and strays, even manipulative ones. I liked that. ‘Of course you can join us.’
It was like the sun came out from behind the clouds, how quickly and drastically Hannah’s expression changed once she had what she wanted. ‘Well if you both insist.’
‘So, what do you do, Taylor?’ Hannah asked, once Fiona had bought her drink over to the table and taken her food to the kitchen to be kept warm.
‘I’m an artist,’ Taylor told her, and the way she leaned back in her chair told me she was anticipating a reaction from Hannah that she’d clearly come up against before.
‘Really. And what sort of art do you do?’
‘That’s a bit like asking a chef if he only ever cooks one sort of dish. I dabble in a lot of different art forms, but my passion is painting. I do a lot of canvases. Paintings of the ocean and the creatures who dwell within.’
‘How fun,’ Hannah drawled. ‘And you manage to make a living from it?’
I frowned at her intrusiveness. ‘That’s not really our business, Hannah.’
‘It’s fine,’ Taylor said. ‘I own an art gallery/studio back in New York. My paintings, while popular, do not solely pay the bills, no. So I also do tattooing. And that does.’
Hannah took a moment to process this. ‘Wait, you mean you tattoo people? Like, as an actual job?’
‘Yes.’
Hannah stared at her. ‘How extraordinary.’
She said it as if Taylor had just told her she trained leprechauns for a living. I opened my mouth to change the subject but she wasn’t finished with the interrogation yet.
‘What does your husband do?’
‘My ex-husband is a financial operations analyst.’
Hannah took a large mouthful of her drink and I felt myself stiffen. ‘I’m guessing he makes a pretty good living.’
‘He does. So do I.’
‘I think that’s enough of the questions,’ I interjected.
Hannah shrugged, took another drink. ‘I thought you said you and Taylor were getting to know each other. I’m just hastening it along.’
‘I wasn’t planning on asking Taylor about her finances,’ I pointed out. ‘That’s nobody’s business but hers.’
Hannah rolled her eyes. ‘Relax, Jack. Taylor doesn’t mind me asking questions, do you, Taylor?’
‘Not at all. I have nothing to hide.’
‘See?’ She drained the last of her drink.
I couldn’t help but notice that Taylor’s glass was still almost full, as was mine.
‘It’s how people get to know each other, Jack.
Which you’d know if you ever actually went anywhere.
’ She rolled her eyes at Taylor as if they were co-conspirators.
‘The number of times we tried to get this man to come to events with us but he much preferred to stay at home.’
‘There’s nothing wrong with being a homebody,’ Taylor replied.
‘Well of course, we all like curling up at home sometimes,’ Hannah said, ‘but there has to be a balance.’ She rested her head against my shoulder and I stiffened.
‘Remember how almost every Sunday you’d come over?
You and Alex would watch a game, then fire up the grill and drink a few beers while you put the world to rights.
And then after dinner the three of us would watch a movie, and most of the time you’d end up sleeping in our spare room instead of going home.
Well, I say spare room. But really it was your room, Jack. It was only ever yours.’
‘I remember.’
‘I’m sorry about your husband,’ Taylor said, and her sympathy was genuine.
Hannah picked up my drink and took a sip. Taylor’s eyebrows arched.
‘Thanks,’ Hannah said. ‘How much has Jack told you about it, exactly?’
‘Nothing really. Just that he passed away.’
‘He didn’t tell you what happened?’
‘No.’
‘Good.’
‘Hannah,’ I admonished her gently.
‘I’m sorry if that sounded harsh,’ Hannah apologized, sounding unapologetic. ‘It’s just… it’s our business, Jack. No one else’s.’
‘It’s fine,’ Taylor assured her. ‘I completely understand.’
Hannah frowned at her. ‘No, you don’t. You haven’t got a clue.’
‘Hannah,’ I growled, louder this time. ‘That’s enough.’
‘I’m sorry,’ she exclaimed. ‘But you know how it is, Jack. All the empty platitudes that people say when you lose someone. They ask you how you are, and when you say, “Well actually, I’m not doing so great, because my whole world has just been ripped out from underneath me,” and they look at you with that annoying, sympathetic head tilt, and they say something completely inane, like, “Oh, I can imagine how you must be feeling.”’ She looked up at me with eyes that reflected her grief.
‘But they can’t imagine it. No one can imagine how it feels until it happens to you. ’
‘I know,’ I said patiently. ‘But they mean well. Taylor meant well.’
‘You’re right. You always are.’ There was an undercurrent of bitterness to her voice. Draining my glass and plonking it back on the table, she faced Taylor and took a deep breath, exhaling softly. ‘I’m sorry, Taylor. It’s just been a really hard time. Can you possibly forgive me?’
‘Of course. No need to apologize.’
‘I’m just grateful that I still have my Jack,’ Hannah said, wrapping a hand around my bicep. ‘I don’t know where I’d be without him. Honestly, I shudder to think.’
‘Lucky for you he’s right here then,’ Taylor agreed, her eyes meeting mine.
‘Dependable old Jack,’ Hannah gushed, still holding on to my arm.
I couldn’t shake her off without being rude, but I knew it was giving Taylor the wrong impression.
‘And not just for the small things, either. I mean, he moved all the way across the country to help me run this place, and I didn’t even ask him to.
He could see I was completely out of my depth and he just swooped right in. My own knight in shining armor.’
‘I just did what any friend would do.’
‘Don’t be modest.’ Hannah smiled, her eyes soft but ever so slightly unfocused. I could see it because I knew to look for it. ‘You’ve gone above and beyond for me, Jack. And I’ll never forget it.’
Taylor’s chair scraped loudly on the floor as she pushed it back. ‘Excuse me, guys, but I need to visit the bathroom. And the bar. Time for another drink.’
‘I can get Fiona to get one for you,’ I told her.
‘It’s fine,’ she replied lightly. ‘I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.’
I watched her walk away, feeling frustrated at the turn the evening had taken. This wasn’t how I had planned it to go at all.
‘Was that a dig at me?’ Hannah asked, her nose crinkling.
‘What the hell are you doing?’ I asked her tightly.
‘What? You said it wasn’t a date.’
‘I know what I said, but that’s complicated, and sort of an inside joke between me and Taylor. It was blindingly obvious to everyone here that this was a date.’
Hannah shrugged, her expression petulant. ‘Then you shouldn’t have invited me to join you.’
‘You invited yourself.’
‘And she said it was fine. What does that tell you?’
‘That she’s kind?’
‘Or she’s not interested.’
‘We didn’t have enough time together alone for her to form any opinion at all, because you gatecrashed our date.’
‘Once again, you said it wasn’t a date. You can’t blame me for being confused, Jack, when you say one thing and mean another.’
‘We both know it’s not just my words that are confusing you, Hannah.’
Her eyes narrowed. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
I slid my empty glass across the table, next to hers. ‘Two drinks in less than fifteen minutes.’
‘I was thirsty.’
‘Did you have any wines before you came downstairs?’
‘I don’t like what you’re insinuating, Jack.’
I sighed. ‘I’m not insinuating anything.
I’m worried, OK? Look.’ I took a deep breath and summoned the courage to say what I knew I needed to say.
‘I’ve noticed more empty bottles in the recycling lately.
I think you might be using alcohol to cope with your grief, Hannah. I think you might need some help.’
She glared at me, outraged. ‘You’ve been spying on me? Going through my rubbish?’
‘I’m not going through your rubbish. Your bins are right there next to the bar’s. I’ve just noticed, that’s all.’
She pushed to her feet. ‘I can’t believe this.’
‘I’m trying to be your friend.’
‘No,’ she spat, her eyes angry. ‘You’re trying to get rid of me. Now that she’s here.’
‘Who, Taylor? This has nothing to do with her.’
‘Don’t be na?ve. I know how this works. Three’s a crowd. She’s moving in and now suddenly you don’t want me around any more.’
I stood up. ‘That’s not true. I’m always going to be here for you, and you know that.’
‘I know why,’ she agreed. ‘We both do. Out of loyalty. That’s the only reason you’re still here.
Well, guess what. I don’t need you, Jack, if you’re going to accuse me of drinking too much.
I release you from your promise, OK? You’re free to forget all about me and move on with Taylor or whoever you damn want. ’
I watched her stalk away, heading for the stairs, and I let her go.