Chapter 39
CHAPTER 39
I t was a week since Jack walked into SOE HQ at St. Ermin’s after his extraction from Reims. Lizzie had felt his presence before she turned to see him looking at her from across the busy main ops room. It was all she could do to stop herself from running and flinging her arms around him.
Instead, she held herself in check and smiled at him. He winked at her, and her stomach fizzed. Then Val whisked him off into a meeting with the boss, and Lizzie didn’t see him again for the rest of the day.
Every time someone entered or left the room, which was a hive of sustained activity, her eyes strayed to the door, hoping to see Jack. The wait was intolerable, and her nerves were in tatters by eight that evening, but there was still no sign of him. Lizzie resigned herself to going home without seeing him and packed her papers away and grabbed her coat.
‘Seagrove. Let me walk you home.’ Jack appeared behind her, and the hairs on her neck stood up .
She spun around. ‘There you are! I was waiting to see you, but you’ve been tied up all day.’
He rubbed his tired eyes. The lustrous beard was gone and the dark stubble on his chin reminded her of their night in the barn when they first kissed. ‘Let’s go,’ he said. ‘If you’re ready? I’ve had enough for today. I’ll meet you outside the French bistro around the corner.’
Lizzie nodded and spent a few minutes shuffling her papers around before following him out of the building and into the street. As she approached the bistro, her stomach growled. She’d not eaten since breakfast, but she was so excited to see Jack, she didn’t know if she could eat.
‘I’m starving,’ Jack said. ‘Want to grab a bite?’
Lizzie smiled. ‘Me too. Yes, that would be lovely.’
They walked down the stairs to the charming cavern-like restaurant and the smell from the kitchen made Lizzie’s mouth water.
‘They still put together an excellent dinner here, which is something of a surprise, given the rationing situation.’
The French proprietor greeted Jack like an old friend and brought them wine and bread. There weren’t many options on the menu, but he recommended the rago?t. They tore into the hard bread as they waited and Lizzie tried to steady herself, but her heart beat too fast.
‘So,’ Jack said. ‘How have you been?’
‘Alright. I was worried about you, though, when you didn’t make it to the farm.’
‘It was a dangerous night all round,’ he said.
‘I mean, we were all worried about you.’
‘Of course. Pierre said you waited as long as you could, but he had to get you to the pickup point. He told me what happened with the general.’
Lizzie saw the concern in Jack’s expression and took a sip of wine as thoughts of the way she had murdered the German reared into her mind. She had closed them down and tried not to think about that awful night. It was only when she tried to sleep that they taunted her.
‘I’m sorry you had to go through that. You were amazing. He rumbled you, but you saved the operation. If you hadn’t eliminated him, the chances are we would all have been caught.’
Lizzie knew she’d saved herself from being arrested by the Gestapo, but she hadn’t realised that what she’d done had saved the others. Val had commended her quick wits, but they hadn’t talked about it any further.
‘I didn’t think of it like that,’ Lizzie said. ‘That makes me feel slightly better about doing such a terrible thing.’
‘No wonder everyone’s so impressed. Did Val mention you were the first female SOE agent to be dropped into France from England?’
Lizzie stared at him, stunned. ‘No, I didn’t know. Why didn’t you tell me? I thought I was just another one going in.’
Jack raked his hand through his hair. ‘I didn’t tell you because I needed you to feel invincible and knowing you were the first would only create more doubt.’
‘I see what you mean. It would have been a lot of pressure. I’m glad I didn’t know.’
‘And you pulled it off. You were the star of the show,’ Jack said. He touched her hand and there it was again. The familiar spark that was always between them with even the slightest of touches. His hand burned into her skin, and she longed to be close to him.
‘Thank you. I don’t feel like a star, though. I responded the best way I could and followed your training. It seemed like the only way out. But I can still see the look on his face after I poisoned him. It was awful,’ she said, shuddering .
Jack’s hand rested on hers, and the warmth of his skin comforted her. ‘The first one is always the hardest, but my God, you proved me wrong about not being ready for this work.’
Lizzie’s face warmed at his effusive praise, and she glowed. She had done something bad, but it was for a good reason. That’s what she kept telling herself. Otherwise, she would have gone mad thinking about the fact that she’d actually taken someone’s life.
Now Jack was back, and they were talking about it openly, the thoughts poured into her mind. She’d tried to lock them away and had only thought about Jack and the other Resistance members still in France.
‘Are the others alright? Pierre and Camille were so kind. I can’t bear the idea that something terrible could happen to them.’
‘They sent you their love and said they hope you are well. The regard is mutual—they were so impressed by how you handled yourself.’
‘They are such a lovely couple. I miss them.’
‘You might see them again sooner than you think,’ Jack said.
‘Oh yes, how so?’ Lizzie contemplated the possibility of going back to France after murdering the general.
‘Nothing planned yet, but there is lots to do. I’m sure Val will find a role for you soon. She sings your praises and wants your continued full-time involvement in F Section.’
Lizzie frowned. ‘What’s F Section?’
Jack laughed. ‘You are so new to this. You’ve already done so much, it’s easy to forget you don’t know the basics. It’s F for French—the French section of SOE. There are different sections, but our department handles France.’
‘I see,’ Lizzie said. ‘I wondered about that. ’
‘Do you wish to continue with us, or have you had enough? No one will blame you if you want to opt out.’ He shook his head. ‘A part of me would like you to refuse, to be honest. It’s too bloody dangerous. I don’t mind admitting I was going out of my mind when you went to dinner with the general.’
Now Lizzie stroked his hand. ‘I was sorry to worry you right before you were about to enter the airfield.’
His palm curled around her fingers. ‘No, no, you did absolutely the right thing. If he’d have hung around, which could quite easily have happened, it would have been too late, and the pilots would have arrived. The mission would have been a lot more dangerous and probably been scuppered completely. Like I say, you saved the day in so many ways.’
Lizzie’s cheeks flushed with a combination of heat from the wine and warmth from his words. They finished their meal and lingered a while longer, talking about Pierre and Camille and what had happened after Lizzie left.
‘The roads were blocked, and I couldn’t get back to the farm, so I decided it was best to get out of Reims whilst I could. I made it back to my contact in the Free Zone. Hannah was there actually, so it all worked out for the best.’
‘That makes sense. I bet the Germans went crazy after the explosion and then they would have found the general’s body.’
‘Yes, Pierre said the city was on lockdown for the best part of a week. Every day they expected a knock on the door, but somehow, we pulled it off. That’s why I couldn’t get back for so long. Sometimes it’s better to wait it out before you make a move.’
‘How is Hannah?’ Lizzie asked. ‘Did you have time to tell her you heard from Henry?’
Jack nodded. ‘She was overjoyed to hear he is well, and I brought a letter back from her. I will arrange for it to be sent to his base as soon as possible. He will be relieved.’
‘That is lovely,’ Lizzie said.
‘You are a romantic, aren’t you?’ Jack said, his lips curving into a smile.
‘I suppose so. It seems like Hannah deserves a happy ending after going through all that dreadful stuff with her family.’
‘Agreed. Unfortunately, we are far from the point of a happy ending. Hitler is still on the offensive and Hannah is determined to stay on with the Resistance. But the longer she stays in operation, the less chance she will make it to the end of the war.
That’s the brutal reality of resistance and SOE work. We need her skills, so I should be pleased she’s so committed, but I’m always torn when it comes to my agents.’
‘I understand,’ Lizzie said. ‘You care about your people.’
‘There is one of my people in particular, I realised when I was away I care about a lot more than the others,’ he said, his eyes like lasers boring into hers.
‘Oh really? And who might that be?’
‘Well, as much as I care about Hannah, and I do, it isn’t her. Obviously. And it isn’t Mary or whatever my made-up date’s name at the Ritz was…’
Lizzie blushed, remembering how jealous she had been and how it had eaten away at her. ‘I thought you and Hannah were in love.’
‘I know,’ he said. ‘You added two and two and made seven.’
‘In my defence, everything pointed to you being involved with her. You were so devastated about her going missing and you kept talking about her.’
Jack ran his fingers over his stubble. ‘You’ll see if you ever run an agent of your own, how hard it is, and how much you care about them surviving. It’s a tough business.’
‘Yes. I’m glad we straightened it out, and sorry I jumped to conclusions.’
‘It’s easily done. Intelligence work overtakes normal life, and personal relationships are hard. That’s why I’ve been single for so long.’
He paused and seemed to search for the right words. ‘About Hannah—I was consumed by guilt and didn’t realise how it all must have sounded to you. It was thoughtless of me. I’m sorry.’
Lizzie gazed at him, realising he had opened up to her in a way that clearly wasn’t normal for him. Her heart swelled.
She didn’t know what their future held, or even if they had a future together, but they would take it one day at a time. That’s all they could do in these precarious circumstances.
By the time they approached Lizzie’s house, it was late, and Regent’s Park was deserted in the blackout.
‘Thank you for seeing me home,’ Lizzie said, turning to Jack, and looking up at him. Lizzie paused a few doors before they reached hers. ‘They’ll all be in bed by now, but better to be on the safe side or there will be awkward questions from my nosy family in the morning.’
‘It’s wonderful to see you again, Seagrove,’ he said, and they looked at each other, neither wanting to break the spell of being reunited. Jack touched Lizzie’s cheek and leaned down to kiss her gently on the lips. She returned his kiss and soon they were in a passionate embrace.
‘I’d better go in,’ Lizzie said, breaking away.
‘Yes, goodnight beautiful. I’ll see you in the morning.’
When she turned to wave to him, he hadn’t moved. ‘I missed you,’ he said quietly, and she just made out the words over the sound of the soft wind .
‘I missed you too,’ she said, smiling.
That night, when Lizzie climbed into bed and lay her head on her pillow, she was too full of joy for the usual sinister thoughts to haunt her.
For the first time since her mission, she fell into a deep, sweet sleep and awoke refreshed and at peace.