Chapter 34
Thirty-Four
CLARA
J esse had barely turned the car off before the bubble we spent the whole day in burst. My eyes were still closed, but I could sense someone by the window. I knew it was Andrew.
That was confirmed when I felt Jesse’s hand slowly move up my leg. It was both reassuring and possessive. I didn’t mind it. I squeezed his hand before my eyes blinked open.
Drew opened my door and stooped down the moment my eyes were open fully.
“Was wondering when you were going to get back. Dare was getting fidgety because he wanted to start dinner but couldn’t without his number one girl being present.”
“His name is Darren, and I’m not his number one, that would be my mother.” I could tell he found my tone surprising.
“You getting out of this car any time soon?” Drew asked, his voice tight. I saw his hand flex at his side like he was desperate to try and counter the quiet claim Jesse’s hand was making on me.
“Yeah. Just mentally preparing to be around people again.”
Jesse’s thumb was now stroking my inner thigh. It was taking all my willpower to not squeeze my legs together and direct this thumb somewhere higher up. If he was trying to be comforting, it was having the opposite effect. Or maybe he was trying to be distracting.
In which case, he was succeeding.
“They’re your friends.” Drew’s voice acted like ice-cold water, but Jesse’s thumb swept higher, dipping under the hem of my shorts.
“I know. Doesn’t detract from the fact that sometimes I need to mentally prepare to see them,” I replied calmly.
“Never been a problem before.”
“I’m not getting into this with you right now, Andrew.” He flinched, and it took me a moment to realise it was because I used his full name. He’d flinched when I used it on the night we broke up as well. Drew no longer felt right in my mouth. It implied an intimacy that I never wanted to have with this man again.
Over Andrew’s shoulder, I saw Addie leave the house. I tapped Jesse’s wrist, and he removed his hand. My thigh still felt the phantom press of his touch. I moved to get out of the car, giving Andrew no option but to get out of my way.
As I approached Addie, she started waving a glass around. I took it from her and took a sip. It was my favourite whiskey. The honeyed smokiness felt soothing.
“You miss me?” I asked her, immediately switching to French. She grabbed my hand and led me into the house.
“I have had to spend all day being Rachel’s doubles partner, and let me tell you, she is the most competitive person I’ve ever met,” she said as we walked.
I gave myself a second to feel bad about leaving Jesse with Andrew, but I knew he’d understand.
“You’ve known her almost your entire life. How did you not know this before now?”
We came to a stop in the same place that had been my refuge earlier in the week.
“It’s never directly affected me before. She looked ready to fight me whenever I missed a ball.”
“Who were you playing?” I asked.
“Gavin and Drew.”
“Oh, that was less about her being competitive and more to do with the Andrew of it all. Did you win?”
If she noticed I called him Andrew, she didn’t comment.
“Yeah.”
“Good.”
There was a pause, and as I looked at Addie, I could tell that she was trying to figure out the best way to phrase her next sentence. Her green eyes looked worried.
“I think he’s still in love with you. Andrew, that is. He’s looked like a kicked puppy ever since he realised you and Jesse weren’t here.”
I scoffed. “That kicked puppy look probably had more to do with him losing a whole day of being passive-aggressive about Jesse’s presence in my life. He knows every moment I spend with a man that isn’t him is a step further away from me running back to him.”
“I don’t know why you would go running back to him when hot neighbour looks like he is about thirty seconds away from devouring you at all times. Speaking of which, give me the debrief.” She poked my arm, eyes glittering.
“Ate some food. Had the best praline ice cream I’ve ever had. Drank some coffee. Saw a cathedral. Got another copy of that play.”
I didn’t need to specify which one.
“Do you really need another one?”
“Almost never. But this one featured the Lady front and centre.”
“So do like, three other editions you own, Clo.”
“Well, I didn’t buy this one, so it doesn’t matter.”
Jesse was right. It was a great get-out-of-jail-free card.
“Oh great, someone else who will happily feed your Macbeth obsession. How fantastic.”
A memory of his body pressed against me in the bookshop flashed in my head.
“Yeah, uh, it’s great.” I took a hasty sip from my drink.
“What aren’t you telling me? Come on, don’t hold out on me. I never get to hear your gossip first.”
“You could stop living in Montreal,” I pointed out.
“I can’t do that. I might meet one of the loves of my life out there and be just like Mum and Dad.”
“Yeah, maybe they’ll move across the hall from you.”
I knew what I was saying. What I was finally, openly admitting. And I saw the moment it landed with Addie.
I continued. “I’m not saying I’m in love with him. I’ve barely been single for a month. I’m not out here falling in love.” The unspoken ‘yet’ sat heavily between us. “But yeah, it’s beyond the ‘just friends’ realm now.”
Addie pinched me. “There’s more. Tell me!”
I took another sip of my drink. “We nearly kissed,” I said quietly.
“Why nearly?”
That was it. No surprise. Just ‘why nearly’.
“We got startled, and the moment passed. A new one never arose.”
“Did your body get all tingly with anticipation?” she teased.
I playfully hit her. “Shut up. But yes. It was a genuine struggle to not drag him somewhere else and finish what we started.”
“Of course the hunt for Macbeth got your motor running.”
“That’s your second. And it was just the final nail, Ads. This week has been…a lot.”
An understatement if ever I heard one.
“What else has happened?” It sounded like a whine.
I scoffed. “I’m sharing a room with him, for starters. I’ve felt his dick on more than one occasion, and although every instance was purely accidental, I can’t help but think about him naked when I hear the shower turn on. Then I start wondering if he’s doing anything about it. There’s also the fact that I had a dream involving him and the shower. The bathroom is basically a disaster zone for me. He’s bonded with Mum and Dad with terrifying ease. The kind of ease that made them feel comfortable enough to divulge all my embarrassing secrets, and I didn’t even hate it that much. Oh! Here’s the kicker: I did a whole journey on an airplane—with only him—without a major panic.”
She blew out a slow breath. “Well, shit. Why are you here?”
“You literally dragged me here,” I pointed out.
“You could have said no. I wouldn’t have been offended if you had just said, ‘Sorry, Ads, gotta go tear this man’s clothes off and release some sexual tension’. I would have told you to go and get it.”
I laughed. Or, more accurately, I cackled. The absurdity of my situation finally hit me. Breaking up with my long-term boyfriend and maybe falling in love with my neighbour were not on my bingo card for the year.
I was laughing so hard that I didn’t hear Dad find us in our hiding spot.
“Is she okay?” he asked as I started wiping tears from my face.
“Yeah, she’s fine. Just experiencing a moment of clarity,” Addie answered.
“Okay, well, I’m here to let you know that dinner will be ready in fifteen.”
He left before either of us could respond.
“Now I hate myself for dragging you up here,” Addie said when he was gone.
“Why?”
“Because the unresolved sexual tension is going to be nauseating throughout dinner. Although maybe this way is better. I don’t need to know what you look like post-coital.”
I started laughing again.