Chapter Twenty-six - Lu
Chapter Twenty-six
Lu
L u secured the seat belt and tightened the strap around her waist. She peered out the small window. Zach’s fingers were intertwined with hers as the jet ascended into the air. Lu’s mind raced at a hundred miles per minute as the flight attendant gave her safety spiel. She glanced over at Zach with his head rested against the leather seat, his eyes shut tightly. Soon light snores escaped gently from his lips. She dug out earbuds from her carry-on bag and placed them in her ears, listened to soft jazz—something to calm her nerves. Though the music was loud in her ears, it couldn’t drown out her thoughts as she revisited her conversations with John Samuels.
After she’d left California and returned to Cape May, they had begun to talk just about every single day. He loved to call her in the early mornings before her day got started, before the sun had a chance to rise over the ocean. They were both early risers, both morning people. He wasn’t much of a texter, though, which was a problem because she would text an entire paragraph without ever picking up the phone. He, on the other hand, would call before ever typing a single word. In fact, if she texted him, he’d respond with a phone call. It drove her crazy. It was the thing that drove her crazy about Yana, too. She assumed it was just a normal practice for their age group—a baby boomer thing. Despite all that, occasionally, John would send her well-wishes for a prosperous and peaceful day by text. He’d even learned how to add emojis.
She reflected on one conversation she’d had with him.
“What do you do for fun when you’re not running the inn? What are your hobbies?”
She considered his question for a moment and couldn’t think of a single thing she did for fun, nor one hobby. “Well, I have dinner with my two girlfriends every Friday night. We drink wine and catch up on our week. I look forward to that.”
“That’s what you do with them, but what is it that you do for yourself?” he asked, and then waited patiently for an answer.
She didn’t have one.
“I guess I’m a workaholic,” she admitted to him, and to herself.
“Well, you should strongly consider changing that. Find something that you love to do and do it!”
She silently agreed.
“What is or was your hobby?” she’d asked him.
“For years, I played golf. And tennis. And don’t laugh, but I thoroughly enjoy jigsaw puzzles.”
Lu laughed inside, tried to picture him working a jigsaw puzzle. “No judgment here,” she said.
“When my children were younger, I forced them on camping trips that they had no desire to go on.” He chuckled. “I wanted to teach them to do something more than work, to enjoy life. We should wake up each day, appreciate the morning sunshine, and live every moment of every day to its fullest. At the day’s end, we should be exhausted from living, not working.”
“Running the inn doesn’t feel like work, though. I enjoy it.”
“That’s good to hear. I would love to see it someday. I can only imagine how beautiful it must be.”
“Maybe you can come for a visit, when you’re able to travel.
“Perhaps. I’ll put it on my bucket list.”
They both laughed.
* * *
Lu maneuvered her body in the seat a bit, then stretched. The FASTEN YOUR SEAT BELT sign flashed above her head. She pulled up the playlist that John Samuels had shared with her when they first met—a compilation of some of his favorite jazz artists—Miles Davis, John Coltrane, Thelonious Monk, Ella Fitzgerald, Duke Ellington. Some of them were some of her favorites, too. She’d named an entire room at the inn, her Harlem Room, in remembrance of the Harlem Renaissance jazz artists.
“I’ve always been an old soul,” he’d told her once. “Those artists were geniuses. Even though they were before my time—really in my father’s era—I appreciated them. That’s when music was good.”
“What was your father like?” she asked him.
“My father, Garrett Samuels, your grandfather, was a very stern man. He expected a great deal from his three sons. I disappointed him when I joined the navy. He wanted me to do something else with my life. He wanted me to go to law school, become a lawyer like him and my two brothers.”
“Wow, an entire family of attorneys?”
“Isn’t that something? You see, it’s in your blood. You took after your grandfather and your uncles.” John laughed. “But then, you followed in your father’s footsteps when you quit, started doing something that you love. When you went against the grain, became a rebel, that’s when you were channeling me.”
“So, you were a rebel?” she asked.
He had laughed heartily that time. “Let’s just say that I danced to my own music.”
As the plane experienced a bit of turbulence, she listened as John Coltrane’s “My Favorite Things” played in her ears. She could see why he loved those artists so much. Their music was flawless. A tear crept into the corner of her eye as she listened and thought of her father. She’d spoken with John Jr. just before boarding the plane. Their father was still alive, still breathing, and had awakened only to ask for her again. She hadn’t prayed in a long time, but today she found herself praying that she’d make it to him in time to hear his voice again. To say her goodbyes. She closed her eyes and whispered her wishes to God.
* * *
The California sunshine kissed her face as they stepped out of the Uber at Mercy General Hospital. Zach grabbed their bags out of the trunk of the car and gave the driver a strong handshake.
“Thanks, man.”
“My pleasure. Enjoy your stay.”
He had no way of knowing that their stay would be anything but enjoyable. He obviously hadn’t noticed the pain in their eyes, the slump in their shoulders, or the fatigue on their faces. The driver gave them a light smile and then hopped back into his Toyota Prius and pulled away from the hospital’s circular drive. Lu slipped the strap of her bag over her shoulder. They’d only packed for a couple of days, hadn’t planned on staying any longer than that, just long enough for Lu to show her face, make her peace, and return to Cape May and her inn.
The familiar smell of the hospital, with its shiny, buffed floors, greeted her at the door. They made their way to John’s room. She gave the heavy door of his room a strong push. The room was in semidarkness, the only light from just above John Samuels’s bed. He slept peacefully, a breathing tube attached to his nose. His chest heaved up and down rhythmically. Balloons and bouquets of flowers adorned the windowsill and the end tables. She took a seat in the chair next to him.
“Why don’t you go find something to eat,” she whispered to Zach.
“What about you? Aren’t you hungry?”
“Not really. I’d just like some coffee.”
“Okay, but you should eat something, too. Maybe a piece of toast?”
She nodded a yes to appease him, though she didn’t have an appetite for food.
“Be right back.” Zach walked quietly from the room.
Lu stared at her father for a few moments and really observed his features. She wanted the picture of him to be ingrained in her mind. Lu wanted to remember him exactly in that moment, from the thick brows on his forehead, the way his mustache danced ever so lightly against his top lip, the dimple in his chin, and his large brown hands, which rested against his chest.
“They have him on morphine,” she heard a soft voice say. “He’ll be asleep for a while.”
She didn’t know how long Lillian had been in the room watching her watch him. Lu gazed at the woman. She wore khaki culottes and a short-sleeved cashmere sweater. Her hair was a beautiful mess on her head. She was pretty, Lu thought—an older version of Milan. Her eyes were sad, though, and her shoulders slumped. She looked tired.
“I didn’t mean to intrude. John Jr. called me,” Lu started to explain.
“I know. He was asking for you yesterday. As much as I hate to admit it, he wanted you here.”
Lu’s eyebrows raised at Lillian’s candor. As much as she hated to admit it?
“John hurt me some years ago, when he had an affair with your mother. I thought my world had ended when he told me that he’d fathered a child outside of our marriage. When he left for Manila, I was eight months pregnant with Milan. He wasn’t even here for her birth. I thought he was over there fighting for his freaking country, but he was doing much more than that. It took us years to work through that. I know that he wanted you in his life, but your mother wasn’t having it. It was something that hurt him deeply for many years. Because of it, he was never able to give of himself to us, his family, not completely. He always felt like a piece of him was missing.”
“I’m sorry,” Lu whispered.
“Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault. John is many things, but if nothing else, he’s a good provider and a wonderful father. His children love him dearly. I’m sure you do as well, even though you’ve only known him a short time.”
Lu nodded her head. “I do.”
“After connecting with you, I’ve seen him happier than he’s been in years. The phone calls back and forth between you two brought him joy. He wanted to walk you down the aisle at your wedding, you know? He was really trying to get better so that he could fly to Jersey and do just that.” She chuckled. “Had Milan trying to find a husband in order to beat you down the aisle.”
Lu laughed, too. She didn’t have the heart to tell her that the wedding had been called off and that Milan might in fact beat her down the aisle. Though Zach had accompanied her on the trip and had been her knight in shining armor, as always , the truth was, they weren’t a couple anymore.
“It’s too bad that things didn’t work out. That he hasn’t gotten better.”
“Yes, I agree.” Lillian grabbed her purse from the chair she’d obviously been sitting in. She pulled the strap over her shoulder. “I’ll give you some time with him.”
As Lillian quietly left the room, Lu glanced at her father again. He was still sound asleep. She leaned back in the chair. Her body ached; her head hurt from exhaustion. Her stomach was topsy-turvy. She wished she’d asked Zach for a ginger ale instead of coffee. Her eyes fluttered as she tried to make out what the news reporter was saying on the mounted television. Soon, sleep found her.
When Lu awakened, she squinted as she tried to remember where she was. Zach was slumped in a chair across the room, sound asleep. A cup of coffee rested on the table next to her, now cold. Two slices of wheat toast were wrapped in cellophane. When she looked over at John Samuels, she was met with a set of bright eyes. He attempted to smile.
She rushed to his side. “Hi,” she whispered.
He spoke with his eyes, took her hand in his and squeezed it tightly. “Lualhati. I was praying that you would come.”
“I was determined to get here.”
He shook his head in agreement. “I’m glad.”
“Do you need anything? Some water, something to eat?”
He shook his head no. A tear crept into the corner of his eye. “I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to get better, that we lost so much time. But I cherish the time that we had.”
He spoke in past tense, and it pierced her heart. The time that we had .
“Me too.” She attempted to fight back tears. “The time that we will continue to have, right?”
She was hopeful. Doctors didn’t always know how much time you had; it was merely a guess based on statistics, she reasoned.
John neither agreed nor disagreed about their time together, just continued to ramble. “You should always cherish the good things in life. Try not to waste time on things that don’t matter. Be quick to forgive and live your life fully.”
“I will.”
John Samuels coughed, and soon he couldn’t stop. The coughing spell seemed to last forever.
“I’ll go get the nurse. See if she can bring you some water, okay?” Lu didn’t wait for him to give her permission or to decline. She walked out of the room and went directly to the nurses’ station.
“Good morning,” the blonde-haired woman greeted her with a cheerful smile.
“Good morning. My dad is having a terrible coughing spell.” Her dad . It was the first time she’d referred to him as that. “He needs water. Can someone get him some?”
“Of course. Right away.” The nurse stood and moved quickly from around the desk.
“Thank you.” Lu gave her a smile and then headed back to her father’s room.
John’s eyes were lightly closed.
“She’s coming with some water,” she said to him.
He didn’t respond or open his eyes. The machine that he was attached to beeped loudly.
“Did you hear me?” she asked him, but he didn’t budge. “Dad, did you hear me?”
She stood a few inches from his bed, her arms folded across her chest. She felt a strong tightening in her chest. She closed her eyes for a moment, her whole body tensed, and her breathing felt impaired. She hadn’t even realized she was crying, intensely. She didn’t know what else to do. She was stuck; her feet felt like lead. As soon as she felt Zach’s hands rub up and down her arms, she knew that the inevitable had happened. If there was any doubt in her mind, it was proven then. She needed to get someone, tell them that John was gone, but she couldn’t move. The nurse walked in with a pitcher of ice water, set it on John’s tray, and then walked over and stopped the machine from beeping.
She offered Lu a sympathetic look, her eyes saddened. Lu knew that she was searching for the right words. “I’m so sorry.”
Lu buried her face in Zach’s chest. She knew that she would be the one making the painful phone call this time to John Jr., a call that she really didn’t want to make.