Chapter 25 Mona
“Okay, Beep. You got this. Just show me what I want to see.”
I thought you’d understood this by now, I am not your omega. You are your omega. I am your wolf, she replies.
“Babe, you’re killin’ me here.” For the past four nights, I have sat on the edge of the bed and pleaded with my omega to show me more in my dreams, just like Ghost told me to do. I haven’t dreamt of her, not once.
Perhaps this is similar to our conflict with shifting. You are trying to force it. Allow yourself to be open. Commune with your omega nature, relax into her power.
I don’t think I can handle Beep sounding like a meditation guru. “I thought you said they were my powers? You know, cause I’m the omega and all?”
Orion chuckles from across the room. I shoot him a glare and he throws his arms up and backs out of the bedroom. “Sorry, sorry. We’ll just… I’ll make sure the guys leave you alone until you’re asleep.”
He’s still laughing as he exits my bedroom, leaving me alone to commune with my omega nature. Maybe Beep is right, though.
Of course I’m right.
I just meant, I think back at her, maybe I am trying to force it. I really want this to work. Andrea is not okay.
Andrea has been showing up for her self-imposed guard duty, but she’s even more on edge than usual.
And I can see the anxiety in her eyes, though she’s only allowed herself to ask once or twice if I have any news.
She’s both worried and elated, and she has nowhere to put any of those emotions.
I’ve willingly gone to the gym with her a few times, the only relief being that she puts herself through workouts harder than me.
Like she’s punishing herself or something, I don’t know.
I don’t like it. I’m worried about her. But until I learn more about her mate, there’s nothing I can do.
So, I take Beep’s advice. I close my eyes and crawl under the bedsheets.
I smell Silas’s rainy scent first. He’s usually the first one to bed with me, the last to get up.
He’s attached in a way I never expected, in a way that might scare me if I couldn’t read him through the bond.
He watches me constantly, lit with awe that he gets to keep me.
It’s almost overwhelming, but I don’t let myself get swept up in his intensity. Orion helps balance things, and Grayson is too much of a bulldozer to offer any nuance or subtlety to the situation.
The truth is, we’re all finding our footing as a family.
It’s perfect.
Almost.
Maybe that’s the problem. I have my mates’ scents, but one is missing.
On a whim, I hop out of bed and tiptoe down the hall. I can hear their voices carry up the stairs. They cease talking to listen, to see if I call out for them. I don’t, and it’s sweet that they all stop what they’re doing to see if I need them.
“Don’t mind me,” I mutter to them as I slip into Grayson’s room and steal a dirty t-shirt. I do the same to Orion, and when I get to Silas’s room, I pause.
The backpack.
The one Silas carried from the cabin in Canada.
The bag is tucked under the bed. I pull it out, emptying the contents.
Ghost’s scent is missing, but the blanket is his.
At least, he was the one who wrapped it around me.
He even folded it up and made a pillow, offering it to me when I was hurt and trying to shrug him off.
It’s pathetic that I’m clinging to something he touched. It only carries Silas’s and my scent, faintly, but it’s enough.
I gather all four things and head back to the bedroom.
But as I enter the room, something makes my steps slow. I glance down the hallway to the nest. Magic, Beep said. The five of us together would be magic.
Carrying their stolen things, then stuffing my arms full of blankets and pillows off my bed, I can barely see over the mound in my arms and wander into the nest.
The sheets are already made and clean. I just toss everything into a pile, and I do what I wanted to from the very first time I walked into this room that seems to glow all on its own.
I jump into the pile and bury myself in the sheets and their scents. I wrap the blanket Ghost held around me, sink my nose into the worn material, arrange everything until I feel comfortable, and close my eyes.
I don’t speak to Beep or my omega. I just think about being whole. Having my entire family with me, and how lucky I am to have found them.
Just knowing Ghost is out there feels like a gift. I’ll always look out for him, I’ll always want what’s best for him. And maybe he isn’t ready for me right now, but someday he might be. And I’ll be here waiting when he is.
And I think about how much I want that for Andrea. For all the shifters, really, but the ones who are in pain, who are missing the pieces that make them whole—I want their families together, too.
And then I fall asleep.