Chapter 37 Ghost #3
Though the words are like kindling to a flame inside me, I can’t help but notice how very off Mona seems. Like she’s high on something.
Warm too, judging by the flush crawling up her cheeks, waving heat through her body.
The room, stifling before, now feels like a sauna.
Her perfume trickles between us, stagnant in our strange, quiet bubble, making my mouth water.
My nostrils flare, and I wrap a hand around her neck, digging my fingers into her nape.
It’s possessive and aggressive, and though I have to remind myself I’m trying to maintain distance, I can’t ignore the pleasure snaking down my spine at holding her warm skin.
Sadly, I can’t act on it because I know what’s going on.
Goddammit. Can’t this girl ever catch a fucking break?
I lean in close and sniff, confirming my suspicions.
“Mona,” I say cautiously.
“Hmm?” She closes her eyes and breathes deeply, as if she’s trying to inhale my essence.
“Fuck,” I mutter under my breath, pulling back. I press my thumbs into her eyebrows to lift them up.
She tries to slap my hand away, but her limbs move slowly.
“Your pupils are dilated,” I say frankly.
“It’s dark down here.”
“Not that dark. Your eyes are nearly black. Mona, how are you feeling right now?”
“Good,” she sighs dreamily.
I wait a moment for that word to catch up. Meanwhile, looking her over clinically, I try to determine how much damage has been done.
“Why are you acting so weird? I feel good. Great, in fact.” Her eyes close, and she lets out a soft moan, then begins rubbing at her pants. “Too itchy. Too hot.”
I had a chance, once, to take her like this.
Mona’s heat in the woods. It didn’t feel right then.
She didn’t know me, and I was determined to keep my distance.
Since then, she’s broken down so many of my walls that this time is exponentially harder.
Still, I force the words out. “Mona, stop. She’s spelled you. ”
“What do you mean she spelled me?” Holding out her arms, she looks them over as if she’s expecting to see evidence of the magic.
But she gets distracted by the clothes she’s wearing and begins undressing, fingers at the hem as she drags her shirt up, whining about the fabric. I snatch it back and hold it down.
“Wait, stop. I need to think.”
“You think too much, Ghost. That’s your problem. You need to feel.” Her fingers find my waist, curling into my skin, and I shudder in pleasure, then let out a dark chuckle, holding her hands in place.
“You sound stoned, Mona. Come on, come here.”
“I’d literally go anywhere you asked,” she says easily. Ignoring the pleasure at her words, I coax her into my lap. She squirms against me, delighted as my semi-hard cock rises against her hip.
I can’t decide if this is a nightmare or a dream.
Needing to fix this quickly, I chant in a whispering tone while holding my open palm in front of Mona’s body as I cleanse her of the spell.
Something changes in the air as she squirms and rubs her thighs together.
It smells sweeter, her perfume coating every molecule.
And as the air thins, and her perfume grows thicker, a strange blend of scents with my magic, the haze recedes, and Mona’s skin cools, her mind coming back into focus.
“What the fuck?” she rasps after a moment.
“Are you okay?” I ask cautiously, looking her over. The spell is gone, but still.
“Yeah… I mean, yeah. What was that?”
“She’s trying to… push you into a heat.”
“I thought they couldn’t get inside our little bubble you made?”
“The ward protects us from attack, yes. But she has your blood, so she can impact you directly. I incorrectly assumed Deidre wouldn’t waste anymore time trying to mess with you. She needed your blood for a spell, that’s what she told you, right?” Another miscalculation on my part.
Desperate to figure this out, I think aloud.
“You’re obviously not going to get pregnant this fast. If we had sex right now, you’d have my seed inside you.
That could increase your potency. But why is she…
It doesn’t make any sense.” My gaze drifts toward the far wall, not really expecting an answer.
While I try to work out the mystery, Mona’s hands keep lingering.
Tracing my shoulders, dancing along my neck.
She thinks I’m too focused to notice what she’s doing, when in truth, it’s taking every ounce of power inside me to not react.
To not give in. But when she runs her fingers through my hair, the pleasure fluttering inside me like scattered marbles, I still beneath her, trying to remember all the reasons this is a bad idea.
I clear my throat. “Are you okay? I thought I cleared the magic from your system?” I know I did. And with a second, clinical check, I can confirm the magic is gone.
“How come you were able to do that so quickly? Last time, you told Silas you couldn’t stop my heat.”
“That was a real biological heat. With blood magic, I might have been able to stop it—steal your free will and all. I wasn’t willing to do that. We didn’t have the time, regardless. This, just now—“ I point outside the cell, “this is unnatural. Magic induced. I can stop magic with magic.”
Though what they tried to do to her makes me furious, she’s still lightly tracing my ears, and my dick is getting harder, despite all the darkness around us. I feel like I don’t even have to ask, because Mona is an enigma and her natural state is insouciant, but I do anyway. “Why are you smiling?”
“You usually say very little. I’ve never heard you say as much as you have in the last hour. It’s just funny. It’s nice. I like it.”
Heat crawls up my cheeks. If I weren’t naked, she wouldn’t be able to tell how easily she makes me blush. My cock is still semi-hard and growing, and I try not to pay it any mind, but it’s really difficult when she keeps glancing down, biting her bottom lip, and squirming in my lap like she is.
She pushes her knee over my leg so she’s straddling me, forcing me to take a sharpened breath as my cock presses against her core. I shake my head quickly, attempting to push her off. “No, you’re not in your right mind.”
“You already said I’m clear.”
I look around the room, at anything but her. She frames my cheeks with her hands. “What’s wrong?”
Is anything actually wrong when your mate is in your lap? My cock is weeping, now fully erect. It actually hurts with need. Nerves rattle my insides. A quick glance shows it bobbing slightly, seeking heat. Seeking her.
“I just, I’m not—” I stutter.
Her knees part wider, pressing her warm core more firmly against my length, and I can’t catch my breath. My eyes fall closed as unfamiliar sensations overwhelm me. I force myself to shake my head.
“Not—not like this. Not here.”
“You’re pushing me away again,” she says, tone flat.
She’s right. I’ve been doing it since the beginning.
Every time she reaches for me, I pull away.
Every time she opens herself to me, hoping I’ll do the same, I close myself off.
But how can I explain that what’s between us—this sacred pull, this gift I don’t deserve—terrifies me?
How am I supposed to balance this hunger for her against everything else I carry inside me?
When her eyes glisten from the rejection, something inside me breaks. She tries to retreat, to shift off my lap, but my fingers curl into her hips. Digging, almost. Possessive.
My voice feels raw, but I hold her in place. Making a decision. Still unsure how to explain at least some of what holds me back. “I told you I can’t give you…”
“You can’t give me you?” her voice cracks. I grit my teeth in response, still looking over her shoulder. “Please look at me,” she begs.
Reluctantly, I drag my eyes over and meet hers. And I infuse every word with the weight of all my misgivings. “I want you more than anything. More than anything on this earth. But I told you, I’m not safe to be around. The people who would come after you, if they found out who you are to me—”
She cuts me off, “Isn’t it lucky, then, that you ended up packed with men like Grayson, Orion, and Silas? Do you think they would let anything happen to me?”
I let out a low growl. “People are after me. Always. That’s why they call me The Ghost, that’s why people don’t know who I really am.
If I stayed with you, they would find out, and they could come after you, hurt you to get to me.
Because of what I’ve done, or because of what I am. Either way. I’m not safe for you.”
“It’s a good thing I have Grayson, Orion, and Silas with me, then. With us.”
I wish I could believe it. Trust it. Of course they would protect her, but can they?
She tries again, “Just give us a chance. Is this what you see for your life ten years down the road? A hundred? Two hundred? Knowing your mate, your pack is out there, but choosing to live away from us, in the shadows? Working for Kendrick, living a half-life?”
It’s the final crack that shatters the wall surrounding me.
I don’t have to guess how I might feel in ten years. It’s unfathomable. My voice is full of raw honesty when I admit, “I can’t imagine going that long without you.”
“Then why go a single day?”
The challenge lands like a bomb between us. I squeeze her hips tighter. I feel like a coiled snake ready to spring.
Or a falcon ready to strike.
I stare into her eyes, my fingers digging into the backs of her thighs, drawing her closer. She takes it as an invitation and shifts forward, raising her hips slightly, and the pressure against me sends electricity through my body.
Her lips meet mine and my entire body trembles.
My first kiss. The softness catches me off guard—warm, wet, tender.
My head swims, each sensation magnified beyond reason.
Something all-consuming rises in me, threatening to sweep away all my careful restraint.
The fear of that surrender makes me pull back suddenly.
“Wait. I have to tell you something.”