Chapter Nineteen
Then
Thirty Days Before the Fire
My palms were sweating from more than the early-morning heat. As I made my way down to the dock, the sun was just peeking over the mountains on the other side of the lake.
I spotted him before he saw me; he was pulling out a paddleboard. Another was already propped against the dock house. He needs some help getting set up for today, I told myself for the tenth time this morning. Wes and Rig were probably both busy, and you were the next option on the list.
Trevor’s face split into a wide smile when he saw me.
His eyebrows rose when he clocked my outfit, and I flushed.
Beneath a flimsy, sheer white cover-up, I wore a bright red bikini—Steph’s, of course.
She’d practically forced it on me when she’d woken up to me sneaking out of the cabin in an old, frayed pair of shorts and my standard black one-piece.
“Come on, Little G,” she’d whispered, digging through her bag despite my whispered protests. “Do something that will stun him. I dare you.”
“Hi,” I breathed, forcing myself not to cross my arms. I wanted to look confident, fearless, when I was anything but.
Trevor pushed his hair back from his forehead. “Hi, yourself. You look—yeah. Hi.”
We stared at each other for a moment, and it hit me like a record scratch: Trevor was nervous.
I was making him nervous.
“Did you ask me down here at the crack of dawn because you needed help with the paddleboards? I don’t know if I’m the girl for the job. I don’t have much arm strength.”
He gave a soft laugh, the humor in it more subdued than usual. God, he really was nervous. And the more nervous he was, the more nervous I became. I felt like I was fourteen years old, wondering if Wes might ask me to dance during the Night Before.
But this wasn’t Wes. This was Trevor.
“Why does this feel like you’re taking me on a date?” The words were out before I could think better of them.
Trevor took a step forward and reached for me. His hand just grazed down my arm until he locked his pointer finger around my own. His skin was hot.
“Because I am.”
Before I had the chance to really process that I was, in fact, going on an early-morning date with Trevor, he was moving away to set the paddleboards into the lake. “You ready?”
His question had a certain sort of gravity that made my heart skip. I nodded once, pulled my dress over my head, then descended into the water.
It was shockingly cold, and I couldn’t help but gasp when I was only halfway down the ladder. Trevor laughed from the dock, and I caught his eye, indignant.
“You don’t get into the water much.” Gone was the nervousness; his voice was warm and lazy now as he watched me, arms crossed against his broad chest. I could see a light sheen of sunscreen on his nose.
“It’s cold in the mornings.”
“Such a shame,” he said, his hand going to his heart in mock sadness. “A girl who owns her very own lake doesn’t even like water.”
I rolled my eyes. “I like water. I went swimming during the Night Before, remember? And last summer, with you.”
A hair’s breadth of a pause before he leaned down so we were almost at eye level, and he blew out a short breath. “I remember.”
I forced myself to push off into the water, dipping under once to get it over with. I climbed onto the paddleboard, putting my knees together and bracing myself before standing. When I glanced up, Trevor was already in position.
“Where are we going?”
“You’ll see,” he said. “Do you trust me?”
“Mostly.” Something in his gaze flickered, like this was a challenge he intended to win.
“Come on.”
—
I’d been expecting us to head back to Lady’s Lurch, but instead, he led me due east, toward the sunrise. The surface of the water was glass-like, the only movement from the small ripples coming off our boards.
“Tell me about your new job,” I said after a few quiet moments.
He was in front of me, and I watched the muscles in his back move as he paddled. “Just leading tours at a brewery my buddy’s family owns. Nothing permanent. I’m trying to go west at some point, but, you know. We’ll see.”
“How far west?” I paddled up beside him, and I studied his profile as he shrugged.
“Montana, maybe. Or Colorado.”
My pulse accelerated. “I love Colorado. Or the idea of it, I guess. I’ve never been, but I want to go. Is that where you think you’ll end up long-term?”
“I haven’t thought about it that far ahead. Probably not forever. There are so many things I want to do.”
His eyes shifted somewhere beyond my shoulder. His face split into a grin, and he nodded his head once, daring me to look.
I turned and gaped, almost dropping my paddle. Trevor had led us to a hidden cove I’d never once seen before, in all my years living here and exploring our property. There was a sliver of white sand and wildflowers in dozens of colors, with a small cave just beyond.
It was so perfect that my eyes started to burn. “What is this place?”
“I found it my first summer here. I like to come out here sometimes on my days off. It’s hard to access from any of the walking trails. It’s my favorite place at Dread’s Cove. I doubt if your mom knows about it.”
I was sure he was right. My mother was famously awful at directions; as much time as she spent in the woods, she got disoriented almost immediately when she couldn’t see camp buildings anymore. She rarely ventured to the east side of the lake.
No, this place was just Trevor’s. And mine now, too.
We paddled to shore, and Trevor reached for my hand to pull me toward the cave. I laced our fingers together, and he squeezed, his thumb running back and forth over my wrist.
Inside, it was dark and warm, the ceiling just high enough that Trevor could fit.
Our feet squished through the sand and shallow water.
I glanced back out the entrance, and the mouth of the cave framed Lady’s Lake like a painting.
A slight breeze ruffled through my hair, and Trevor pushed it back behind my ear.
I wanted to speak, but my heart was in my throat.
Even in the low light, I could see his eyes. Green, with flecks of gold.
“This is so beautiful,” I whispered. “Thank you for bringing me here.”
There was a distinct sound somewhere out of sight—like footsteps, crashing through the water—and I spun around in surprise.
“Hello?” Trevor called, then looked back on me. He held a finger to me, as if to say, Just a second.
He went back the way we came, and my pulse was still thrumming wildly beneath my skin. Was someone out there?
Watching us?
I hated that I was panicking—hated that a strange noise could have my nerves stretched taut like a drum—but I made myself inhale, exhale. Trevor was already turning around, heading back to me. “Just a fish or something. Don’t worry.”
He reached for my hand again, and I could feel the heat of his body radiating off him. “I promise, it’s just us.”
Then his free hand found my waist, and he pulled me close enough that we were flush against each other. I forgot to be scared. I forgot everything. He gave me that same secret smile he’d been giving me for weeks, every time we locked eyes, and I returned it.
He leaned in, and finally, he kissed me.
It surged through every part of me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him in, rising on my toes to meet him. His hands circled my lower back, and then he spun us around, until I was pressed against the cave wall.
I ran my hands through his hair and tugged him even closer, and he breathed my name against my lips. His hand ran down the length of my bare thigh before coming back to play with the tie of my bikini, and I gasped into his mouth.
“I have wanted to kiss you for so long,” he said, pulling back to look at me. His eyes were dark, his face flushed, and his hands were still tight on my hips. His breath ghosted across my face as he spoke. “Since the first summer I saw you.”
My heart stuttered in my chest, and I knew he could see my surprise. These were all the things I’d imagined him saying to me, as I lay in bed at night the past few weeks. Maybe much longer. Things I didn’t think could possibly be true.
“When Wes told me you guys had broken up, I know it was shitty of me, maybe—but I couldn’t help it. It’s like you’re a magnet for me. I can’t stay away from you; I can’t stop thinking about you.”
I thought I might combust under the weight of his stare. He leaned back in, gave me another kiss, letting his lips linger on mine for a long beat.
“Trevor—” I started, but he interrupted me.
“Hold on, just listen. Please. I have to get all of this out, okay? I don’t want you to do anything that will make things complicated.
I don’t want to ruin things between you and Wes.
I know you were close before you got together, and I don’t want to be the thing that ruins that.
He’s a good guy, and if you want to—if you and him might—just tell me. Tell me, and I’ll stop.”
“There’s nothing between me and Wes. I promise. It’s over.” I was overwhelmed by his confession, could barely breathe, but this—I could make sure he knew this much.
His shoulders visibly untensed, and I felt the relief radiating off him. “Thank God.”
I reached up and ran a hand across his stubbled chin, and he closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to mine. “So, what, then? I’m your new summer fling?”
I meant it as a joke, but his eyes flew open, and he looked more serious than I’d ever seen him.
Older. He was no longer the college kid who’d shown up as a lifeguard years ago.
Maybe he didn’t know everything he wanted just yet, but I could see at least one thing he was certain about. It was written all over his face.
“I don’t want a fling. I want you.”
So much warmth coursed through me that I thought I might burst. “I want you, too. So much.”
After that, we didn’t say anything else for quite a while.
—
We stayed at the cove in our own private world as long as we could. It was my favorite morning in living memory. But, of course, it had to end eventually. Trevor and I paddled back to shore, and it felt like my entire axis had shifted.
That night, as I snuck out the door to meet up with Trevor again, Steph gave me a round of silent applause from her bed. Her approval felt like a drug. I gave her a dramatic bow as Margo and Chelsea snored, then let the door shut silently behind me.
It was only much later when I thought back on that night, that I wondered what I may have missed.
I was so focused on myself, on Trevor, how his hands felt on my waist, that I wasn’t thinking about Steph at all.
When I snuck back to Black Bass just before dawn, my hair matted from the tree Trevor had pushed me up against, I didn’t even wonder why she wasn’t in bed.
I didn’t even wonder where she’d gone.