Chapter 9 #4
But on some level, he made sense. They’d already loved each other for a long time, and it would be a short trip to return to where they’d been before …
before she confessed and he chose Jess. They’d shown each other the best of themselves, and crucially, the worst. He’d seen her when she was crying from PMS, and he’d gone out in the rain to buy her tampons and painkillers.
She’d seen him throw a water bottle at a studio mirror in frustration when he couldn’t translate the vision in his mind into a dance routine.
Before meeting Jess, he’d never let her down in any significant way.
She knew his family; he’d met her friends, including Hayes and Poppy.
He wasn’t a risk. He was safe. And safe was survivable.
And crucially, he’d chosen her. A bit late, but he’d got there.
Something her father never did. She couldn’t admit it out loud, could barely face it herself, but being chosen?
That meant everything and more. It soothed a wound that she didn’t know was still bleeding.
He hadn’t wanted her, but he’d realized he was wrong, and now he did.
Could she forgive him for rejecting her?
He was human, and he’d made a mistake. Maybe all he needed was a year away from her, to be with someone completely different, to realize what they had, who she really was.
Jess, it seemed, had been a detour, someone who’d fallen into his life and knocked him off-balance.
She understood that; hadn’t Dane done the same thing to her?
She looked across the tent and saw that Dane wasn’t at the bar or sitting anywhere where she could see him. Had he gone to the bathroom or headed home? She couldn’t blame him if he had. She’d been having a nice night with him, until Alex crashed their party.
She didn’t know whether to feel happy or pissed at that. Mostly, she was utterly confused. About everything. She’d even thought about her dad…
Luna and all her friends knew what a hot-button topic Chester was for her, and they never mentioned him. These days, she rarely thought about him. But Alex’s arrival brought him to mind. He reminded her of him.
Why? Was it because she thought that if they got back together, she would she still play second fiddle to him, in life, love, and dance?
Also, and she felt guilty for this one, she couldn’t help wondering if he was playing her.
Like Kyro had. Alex, like her dad, needed his ego stroked and loved attention…
And because Alex was always the master of timing, because he knew her so damn well, he covered her hand with his. “I’ve hit you with a lot tonight, Wrennie.”
He had. She felt like she’d been smacked with a lead pipe.
“Can you look at me for a sec?” He squeezed her hand, and she forced her eyes up to meet his.
He smiled at her, a smile she loved so much.
It was his we’re in this together smile, the one he’d flash before they met a client or presented their routine.
She hadn’t seen it in a long time. “I know it’s a lot to take in.
I’m sorry I hurt you, I’m sorry I walked away, and I’d be so grateful if you gave us another chance. ”
She opened her mouth to speak—to agree or to refuse, she didn’t know—but he spoke before she could.
“You need time, I get that. I want you to think about this carefully, to take every second you need, because if you come back to me, I’m never letting you go again.”
He stood up and walked around the table to hold the back of her head in his hand and bent down to kiss the side of her mouth. His kiss felt good, familiar, but she couldn’t say it felt right. Why not?
“I’m going back to New York. You know where to find me. Or if you need me to come back, just send me a text, and I’ll get to wherever you are as soon as I can.” Wren nodded; it was all she could do. He kissed her again, and then he was gone.
The difference this time, was that she knew he would come back if she asked him to.
She watched him as he walked away from her, negotiating the tight tables with ease, and her brain suddenly decided to kick in again.
Before she made a decision that would, fundamentally, change the course of her life, she needed answers, clarity, reality.
More than anything she needed to talk to him, interrogate his actions, and hers.
To understand his state of mind, what led up to this sudden confession and why, and how she felt about him, them, Jess, everything. She needed more. And she needed it now.
He was stepping out of the tent when she finally made it to her feet, but by the time she ran outside, Alex had disappeared into the costumed crowd. Barely managing to contain her frustrated scream, she pulled her phone from her bag, thinking she’d call him and ask him to come back.
She jabbed the screen with her finger, but it didn’t light up, so she pressed the power button. And pressed it again. It remained stubbornly and silently black. It was out of juice. Clenching it in her hand, she tipped her face to the bright moon and released a silent scream.
What the fuck was she supposed to do now?