13. DANE
I had to get us out of her suite, or I was going to do something I purposed in my mind not to do.
Sleeping with a woman was easy. Sleeping with a woman I actually wanted something bigger with was complicated.
Falling into bed with Justina when she was on the fence about us would only get my emotions more invested.
Meanwhile, she’d likely flake on me out of fear that shit between us wouldn’t work.
Thus, I had to show her that being with me was worth whatever fears she faced. Whether it was her mama, the media, or anyone else in the industry, I would happily stand beside her and proclaim that it was us against the world.
“I have a confession to make,” I said as I tilted her head back. “I’m jealous of the sun.”
Tickled, she giggled as I ran my fingers over her lower lip. “Why?” she asked.
Because it thinks it loves you more than I do. That was what I wanted to say. But I couldn’t. Not right now. Not when she wasn’t ready to hear it.
Instead, I replied, “Because every time it touches you, it mocks the fuck outta me. It caresses you and reminds me that I only have two hands, and unlike it, my hands can’t be everywhere on you at one time.
It ridicules me because it provides you with nutrients I’ll never be able to provide you with.
It reminds me that it has the ability to touch you whenever and however it chooses to, at any angle, at any time. I’m truly jealous as fuck.”
Although I couldn’t see the tint of her skin, I could tell she blushed deeply.
“Wow, Dane. I’ve never heard someone so eloquently discuss their beef with the sun.”
I chuckled.
“In fact, I’ve never met anyone who has beef with the sun,” she added.
“So, I’m ya first?”
She nodded and laughed. “Definitely.”
I ran my fingers down the side of her face and said, “You’re beautiful, Justina. From the inside out.”
Again, I could tell she was blushing. I leaned down and kissed her lips, hoping she’d open up even more to me.
Justina and I walked the beach line for another half a mile before turning around.
Once I had her settled inside her suite, I went back to my own suite to shower and prepare for dinner.
Dinner was going to be inside her suite, and I had half a mind to move it elsewhere.
Being confined to an intimate space with her was going to test me.
This tug-of-war we had going on was teaching me a new level of self-control.
I thought I was good at controlling my feelings.
Justina taught me that the right woman could come along and make a man question everything he thought he knew about himself.
Honestly, Justina made me love learning new things about myself.
After getting dressed, I put on some jewelry, sprayed some cologne on, flossed and brushed my teeth, washed my face, then moisturized my face and beard.
For the most part, I always let my locs hang, but tonight, I secured them at the nape of my neck.
We were having a seafood boil for dinner, and that shit was always a messy ass time.
Justina wanted it, though. I would eat anything just to be in her presence.
I grabbed a wrapped gift box from the bed, then grabbed my wallet and keys before leaving my suite.
Seconds later, I strode inside Justina’s suite to find her setting up the living room.
She had changed into a simple short set that showed off her amazing thighs.
I was more pleased that she still wore the necklace with our initials.
The food was right behind me and wheeled in on a cart along with a bottle of wine.
Instead of music, Justina had the television on a thriller movie.
“Are you trying to be like me?” she asked when it was just the two of us again. Her eyes were on my chain.
I handed her the gift box and said, “We’re a reflection of each other.”
She blushed, chuckled, then took the box from me. “Another gift, Dane. You just gave me a necklace this morning.”
“Well, it’s night now, and that’s the only reason I need to give you random shit.”
Giggling, she unwrapped the box, then opened it. Her eyes jumped from the pair of earrings to me, then back to the earrings.
She smiled and said, “You’re so crazy. I want to say something like, you don’t have to buy me anything this extravagant. However, these are stunning.”
“Good. Let’s eat so you can get ya beauty rest.”
She agreed, and I joined her at the coffee table where I poured us a glass of wine.
“Tell me about your dad,” she requested as we dove into the delectable crabs, shrimp, potatoes, corn, and sausage. Chef Sebastian was the best money could buy, and as soon as I popped a piece of crab meat into my mouth, I wanted to pay that nigga an extra fifty thousand a year.
“That nigga,” I mumbled, referring to my pops.
“Believe it or not, he’s around. I rarely talk about him because my mama raised Hannah and me on her own without his help.
When I first made it on the rap scene, he brought his ass back around as if he’d never left.
That shit was foul, and I let him know so.
Ever since, he tiptoes around and will show his face every now and then.
My mama forgave him, and in a way, I did too.
I still don’t truly fuck wit’ him, though. ”
“I can’t imagine anyone wanting to deal with a parent who was absent most of their life.
I hate that money and fame are the only reasons some parents even decide to return to their children’s lives.
Not because they miss them. Not because they love them.
But because they’re looking for something to gain. ”
“Exactly,” I muttered. “I don’t have memories of them arguing, or any of that.
I can’t lie and say my pops beat on her or any of that shit.
One day, he just left. Even after he turned his back on her, my mama’s heart was so big, she begged me to buy him a house.
At that time, my pops was living from house to house and working odd jobs to survive.
Mind you, this nigga never paid my mama a penny in child support. ”
“Did you buy him the house?” she questioned.
“I did. Told him to stay from ‘round my mama and to call my sister at least once a month.”
“And? Did he follow your directions?”
“To a muhfuckin’ T.”
She thought for a minute and asked, “Do you think your mom ever missed him?”
Shrugging, I answered, “If she did, she never showed it. The last relationship she had, died with her. I’m still cool with Watts and his sons.”
She smiled. “That’s good to know.”
We settled into a more lighthearted topic: my career.
“I’m actively in the process of tryin’ to purchase a label out of London,” I told her.
Eyes wide, she quizzed, “UMR?”
“UMR,” I confirmed.
“Oh, that’s dope, Dane!”
“Thanks. Gotta secure it first. It’s one of the largest record labels in the world, so to be honest, this will be one of the biggest accomplishments of my career.”
“That’s awesome,” she praised. “Do you plan on keeping it London-based?”
“That’s something we’ll discuss together. I can’t be leavin’ you every time they need me over there. Especially when we start having babies.” I shook my head. “I can’t be away from my family like that.”
“Aww, I bet you’re gon’ be a good daddy,” she said.
“I’ma be a good husband, too,” I informed her.
Amused, she shook her head and continued eating.
Once we were full, I cleaned up, then joined her on the couch to finish the movie.
An hour later, she lay across my lap, sleeping.
Carefully, I got up, went to the bedroom to grab a blanket, then brought it back and placed it over her.
Since she was fast asleep, I saw myself out.
Back inside my suite, I congratulated myself for making it through another evening with just a few kisses and cuddles.
I checked my phone and replied to some messages before calling it a night. Tomorrow was Justina’s birthday, and I had plenty planned for her. My mama would be so fucking proud of me.