Chapter 4 #2
“Yeah, yeah,” Aidan replies in a long-suffering tone only a sibling of these two could truly appreciate.
The twins are chaos personified. Well, Cole is.
Always quick with the sarcasm and the inappropriate jokes, although it’s mainly for show.
He’s actually the softest one of the lot of us.
Archer is… Archer is like an international man of mystery.
He disappears for weekends every now and again, sometimes with Cole, sometimes not.
He comes back looking very pleased with himself and just gets right back into his life like he’s never been away.
He’s either a complete lothario, a spy, or a criminal.
“It’s just, so, basically,” Aidan continues, “when he turned up here. He had clearly been beaten half to death by someone. It doesn’t take a genius to guess it was his cunt of an ex-boyfriend.
“What the fuck?” exclaims Sam.
“Oh shit,” says Chris at the same moment.
“Fuck,” is the response from both twins in complete sync with each other.
“Yeah. It wasn’t good. He’d also been…” Aidan catches my eye and looks at me questioningly. I shake my head subtly as I know he was about to disclose Rain’s sexual assault, but that is not his right, partner or not. “Let’s just say that it was fucking bad in all the ways it could be bad.”
I feel uncomfortable at his words, and I wince slightly as he has basically told them without verbalising it.
It’s a good job this group can be trusted not to share this knowledge with anyone, even Rain, and I’m gratified to hear Chris confirm this, but I make a mental note to have a chat with Aid next time we’re alone.
My thoughts of chiding my brother evaporate fairly quickly as I see his anxiety rising further. I place my hand on his shoulder in an effort to ground him.
“I just don’t want you to think of Rain differently.
But suffice it to say that he’s been through the fucking wringer.
The last few days, he’s been talking about reaching out to his friend Corey.
They were stuck in similar situations by all accounts with the cunt and his brother.
He wants to check on Corey and ultimately try to help him get away, if that’s what he wants. ”
I can’t help but think adding the responsibility of another person’s wellbeing onto their already full plates is a mistake, but then the prospect of someone close to Rain living in a situation like the one he just escaped makes it impossible to object out loud.
I just need to step up and make sure that while Aidan is doing all he can to support Rain, while Rain does the same for Corey, I’m there to support all of them the best I can.
Aidan goes on to tell us about how Rain is unsure about texting Corey since there is a possibility these two brothers Rain and Corey were involved with could be monitoring their phones to keep tabs on them.
Rain hasn’t been using his phone at all; in fact, he may have even gotten a new one, I’m not sure.
But if Corey is still living in that situation, and then he comes here, it could be dangerous.
The discussion continues with all of us reassuring Aidan we’re here for him and Rain for whatever they might need, but all the reassurances in the world aren’t enough to quell his anxiety, and before long, he slides into a panic attack.
Myself, Cole, and Archer step in to guide him through it as we have so many times before, while Sam and Chris move aside to check our rods.
“Sorry,” Aidan begins when his breathing is under control again. The four of us are huddled together with Aidan surrounded by his brothers.
“Hey, none of that,” Cole says.
“You don’t apologise for feeling anxious about this, mate,” Sam adds.
“What can we do?” Chris asks, meaning it with everything he is.
“I don’t know, really. I guess just, please, just keep an eye out for Rain? I don’t want him to feel like he’s being watched, but I can’t watch over him 24/7. I just need to know that he’s OK.”
“Fuck, bro, you don’t even have to ask. We’ve got you.
And your guy,” I say fervently. What I don’t say is that I’m resolved to watch over Corey as well, if they do manage to get in touch with him and bring him here.
Aidan and Rain will be too, I know, but if he’s going to be in the same rough shape as Rain was when he arrived, then I know I won’t be able to stand by and watch him struggle.
We fish for another hour or so before we head back to the boatyard on Aidan’s property, where the Dream Boats workshop and fleet are also located.
When I get home, the first thing I do is flick the kettle on for a cup of tea.
What else is a man supposed to do when he’s had a trying day?
As I wait for the water to boil, I resolve myself to keeping the adoption from my brothers for a while longer.
The excitement over my news had been tempting me to break my silence, but right now I need to make sure Aidan stays focused on his and Rain’s wellbeing and not worrying about me.
I know my brother. He is inherently bad at prioritising himself. He’ll ask what he can do to help. He’ll probably start building all the children’s furniture I haven’t bought yet, even though there’s not a lot of point until I know what age child I might be matched with.
Hearing my brother, my very best friend, begging us to keep an eye out for the man he loves, while they navigate Rain’s past, just reinforced all my reasons for keeping it off their radar for now.
The panel isn’t meeting for a while yet anyway, and so there’s really nothing to tell.
OK, yes, there’s something to tell. But I may as well wait until I have all the details and information, so I can share it all in one go and not drip-feed Aidan bits and bobs he’ll likely want to support me with.
No, after today? There’s no fucking way I’m putting that on him.
He and Rain have more than enough going on.
The kettle clicks off, and I make my cup of Yorkshire Tea – the only acceptable teabag in my humble opinion – and settle down on the sofa with my drink and a couple of chocolate Hobnobs, before picking up my book from the coffee table.
I’ll enjoy the somewhat oppressive quiet of my home while I can.
The thought that, hopefully soon, this quiet house will be filled with the sounds of my kid playing brings a soft smile to my face.
A smile that lingers until blind panic looms over everything I still have yet to prepare.
The list of things I need to buy alone is overwhelming, but I can’t get anything until I know if I’ll be adopting a boy or a girl, what age they are, and if they have any special needs or even just what their favourite colours are.
Control has always been my safe place, and now I know I’ve been approved for adoption and am simply waiting to be matched, it feels less likely that preparation will tempt fate.
With that in mind, I get up to grab a notepad and pen from the messy drawer in the sideboard and return to my seat to make a list. Several lists, in fact.
One for each potential scenario. I breathe out happily as I take the planning process in hand. And finally, I relax.