Chapter 17
Aiden’s POV
I watched Rynlee storm off the field; the fury rolling off her in hot, undeniable waves. I ran a hand through my drenched hair, water dripping down my temple, and let out a sharp, frustrated sigh. “What happened in there?” Firebeard asked, brows furrowed as he stepped up beside me.
“Nothing good,” I muttered, already stepping into shadow before he could press further.
Darkness folded around me, and when I emerged again, it was inside the quiet of my dorm.
But peace didn’t last long. The walls rippled, then faded, and I barely had time to curse under my breath before the scene shifted entirely.
Black sand rolled like soft waves under my boots.
The sky above glittered with stars, vast and endless.
The full moon loomed overhead, swollen and bright, casting a pale silver glow across the dunes. Of course, I was here again.
“Figures,” I muttered, trudging forward through the black sand. I found Khonsu where I always did, perched at the edge of a crater, unmoving, watching the night unfold like time itself bent around him. His obsidian eyes followed me as I approached.
“Aiden,” he greeted calmly, unbothered as ever. “How are things going with Rynlee?” I let out a humorless breath and dropped onto the crater’s ledge, forearms braced against my knees, head hanging low.
“It’s complicated.”
“You said that last time.”
“And it’s still true,” I snapped, dragging my hands down my face. “Trying to deal with her is like trying to hug a godsdamn wildfire.”
Khonsu tilted his head, arms folding loosely. “Did you even try what I suggested?”
I scoffed. “No. Because it’s practically impossible. Every time I look at Ruin, I have this deep-seated hatred and resentment, and it’s constantly fighting the bond.
He studied me for a long minute. “Why do you hate her so much, Aiden?”
I pushed to my feet. “For starters? She goes out of her way to crawl under my skin. Today she showed up already pissed and punched me in the face.” The memory burned hot, her fury, her fire, how easily mine had risen to meet it.
“She questions everything I say,” I continued.
“Stands up to me like she has nothing to lose.” My jaw tightened.
“And this bond only makes it worse. I don’t like other men touching her, and yet part of me doesn’t even care.
It’s as though two versions of me are at war. ”
Khonsu’s tone remained steady. “There’s more than that.” I faced him. He was right. I exhaled slowly. I’d never admitted this out loud before. Not to anyone. Not even Jasmine.
“I resent her,” I said finally, my voice hardening. “Because she got something from my father I never did.” Khonsu didn’t interrupt. “Rynlee received pride from him just for getting back up,” I went on. “Meanwhile, I pushed myself to the brink, trying to earn it, and it was never enough.”
The memories surged unbidden. “My father beat me until I was almost dead,” I said, the words flat, stripped of emotion because I couldn’t afford to feel them.
“And when I survived? When I stood up again, bleeding and broken? All I ever got was again.” I crossed my arms over my chest, breath tight.
“But her?” I continued. “She got back up once, and he smiled. Gave her a nod. Like she’d done something extraordinary.
” My hands clenched. “She wasn’t even his blood. ”
Khonsu’s expression softened, just slightly. “You know that is not her fault.”
“I know,” I snapped, then forced myself to breathe. “I know it isn’t. But knowing that doesn’t stop the anger. I can’t help where it lands.”
“Have you told her this?”
I shook my head immediately. “No. And I never will.”
“Why?”
“Because it wouldn’t change anything,” I replied. “And because she doesn’t deserve that weight. She already hates me.”
Khonsu watched me closely. “You’re running from something.”
“I’m running from making it worse,” I shot back. “And after today? I doubt she’ll even look at me without wanting to stab me.”
His gaze sharpened. “What did you do, Aiden?”
I winced. “…I might have gotten carried away.”
“How carried away?”
“…I tried drowning her.”
Khonsu’s head snapped up. “You what?”
“She tried drowning me, too!” I replied sharply, defensive. “What was I supposed to do? Just stand there and let her swing until she feels better?” My voice dropped. “She isn’t the one I want, Khonsu. She isn’t Jasmine.” Silence stretched between us.
Then Khonsu pinched the bridge of his nose, exhaling slowly. “Aiden…”
“I know,” I cut in, sharper than I meant to.
“I know. But what did you both expect? That once the bond snapped into place, we’d suddenly fall in love?
” I let out a bitter laugh. “Ruin and I have years of history, and none of it’s good.
” The shadows stirred at my feet, coiling like restless snakes.
“And the worst part?” I continued quietly. “My shadows want to attack her.”
Khonsu’s expression didn’t change, but his voice dropped, heavy with understanding.
“Of course they do,” he said. “They want to attack her because they view her as a threat, because you see her as one.” My chest tightened.
“The shadows are not evil, Aiden,” Khonsu continued.
“They are instinct. Protection. They mirror you. Right now, they are trying to defend you from what you refuse to understand. Rynlee is not your enemy,” he said firmly.
“Your shadows are powerful, more powerful than the others because they were meant to protect both of you. Not just you.”
He paused before adding more quietly, “I know they whisper constantly. And I know listening to them can pull you into a dark place.” My throat tightened.
“One you nearly lost yourself to during your first year,” Khonsu said.
“I had to stop you then.” I remembered. The whispers had been intoxicating.
Promising. Powerful. I would’ve disappeared into them if he hadn’t dragged me off the edge.
“I understand more than you think,” Khonsu said gently. “Hemera and I were not lovers from the start, either. Hatred came before love. War came before balance.” I sank back down onto the crater’s ledge, exhaustion pressing into my bones.
“But how, Khonsu?” I muttered. “How do I stop this?” He crouched in front of me, moonlight sharpening his features. His voice was firm now, unyielding.
“You change what you can. You don’t control the bond, Aiden, but you control your choices. Protect her, even when she doesn’t want it. Learn her fire instead of fighting it.” The stars above shifted, the realm itself restless.
“I’ll try,” I said quietly.
Khonsu’s gaze sharpened, silver and unforgiving.
“Try harder. Because if you don’t, the bond won’t be what destroys you.
” He paused. “The shadows will.” The Moon Realm dissolved around me, sand and stars fading into nothing.
When I opened my eyes, I was in my dorm.
Alone. Frustrated. And more conflicted than ever.
At the breakfast table, while taking a sip of black coffee, my gaze instinctively scans the feeding hall.
And just like that, they find her, Rynlee.
She sat across the room, golden waves with that one crimson streak braided down her spine, her brown leather uniform hugging every curve in a way that made my jaw tense.
For a moment, I let myself imagine tracing her waist with my hands, learning every line of her body until I had it memorized.
“Good morning,” Jasmine’s voice snapped me out of the thought spiral. She slid into the seat beside me, smiling as she tucked her black hair behind one ear. Jasmine was gorgeous: olive skin, striking green eyes, and a figure I’d memorized plenty of times. But lately, even touching her felt…hollow.
I cleared my throat and focused. “Hey. Got any word from your mom?”
“Not much,” she replied, reaching for her mug. “She pretty much confirmed what we already knew. As for that new student you asked about, Erebus, there’s barely anything on him. But Ivy confirmed he’s real. His name was on the cadet roster, and she said he landed in the third tier for magic.”
Third tier. That made no damn sense. My jaw ticked. “Hmm. Alright. Thanks for checking.”
Jasmine smiled as I nudged her arm. “Of course.” Her hand slid to my thigh, fingers pressing just enough to stir something in me.
Once, that touch would’ve set me on fire.
Now it sparked… nothing but static. The hunger wasn’t there anymore, not the way it used to be.
Gods, I wanted it to feel the same. I wanted her to feel like home.
But my eyes drifted anyway. To the other side of the hall.
To her.
And then I saw him. Alaric. My younger brother.
Too close to her. Too familiar. His hand brushed her shoulder blades with a gentleness that made my blood boil.
And Rynlee didn’t pull away. She leaned into it.
A pulse of white-hot jealousy roared through me, raw and vicious.
She was mine. The bond ensured that. But seeing my brother’s hand on her, Gods, it cut deeper than I wanted to admit.
“You, okay?” Jasmine asked, her brow arched, fingers still on my thigh.
I forced my gaze back to her, masking the storm clawing at my chest. “Yeah, sorry. Were you saying something?”
“I was saying—” But her voice blurred, lost to the sight of Rynlee laughing softly at something Alaric said. The way her shoulders relaxed, the way she tilted her head toward him, it was too damn intimate. Too easy.
I couldn’t sit there another second. “I gotta go,” I muttered, standing before Jasmine could question me.
Her hand slipped off my thigh as I strode away.
I didn’t think. I just moved. Straight across the hall, grabbing Rynlee by the upper arm and yanking her up from the table.
Gasps rippled behind me: Gia, Luna, Ryan. I didn’t care.
“Aiden, what the hell!” she snapped once we hit the hallway, her eyes blazing.