37. Raithe
Raithe
What had I done?
The question blistered my mind tirelessly. The answer was simple; I’d revealed too much. More than that, the feel of Rahzlyn’s hand had seeped beneath my glove and into my bones, lingering for days.
I tightened my hand repeatedly, the act becoming a nervous tic since agreeing to trust her.
Despite years of better judgement, one look in her honey eyes and I couldn’t help but believe her. I was too enraptured by how freely she shared pieces of herself to the world, to me.
It made me want to give her a piece of myself in return.
That scared the shit out of me.
As I belted my uniform’s leathered armor vest in front of the mirror, I listened for murmurs within the palace walls of my absence.
I’d only been gone a few hours today, but from what my ears picked up on, Maryn wasn’t the wiser.
Gregorios kept her, and subsequently Barto and Chessah, occupied with an impromptu meeting in the observatory regarding a so-called message he’d received from Scorpio.
The whole meeting was a sham, concocted to convince and distract Maryn so I could use the arch to the city and question the recent man we’d detained from Gemini.
Gregorios wasn’t pleased when I informed him of the secret captee, but eventually he saw the merit in it.
As Maryn’s threat against Cobalt still loomed over my head, travelling by arch was my only option now that it wasn’t just me she threatened.
Though without resorting to torture, I wasn’t having much luck getting him to talk—even with lesser stones of fortune that I brought with me.
I adjusted my collar, and in doing so caught sight of the jeweled chain resting atop my desk.
I picked it up and examined it delicately, having thoroughly washed off the lingering vervain glitter.
There was nothing special about the jewels, but the memory of Rahzlyn’s thighs—sleek and tan—straddling my lap rocked me to my core.
I clutched the chain as heat blasted up my spine, and I couldn’t stop my mind from wandering to her in that bath. To her slick and taut legs and captivating eyes.
A wave of sweet warmth hit my senses.
Fucking almond.
It wasn’t my imagination that had conjured the scent. Footsteps emerged from the gardens below. I peered out my window, tracking Gregorios and Felaf, and stiffened when Rahzlyn came into view.
She wore a flowing, all-black ensemble of a silken wrap around her chest, high-waisted wide-leg pants, and an elegant robe to keep warm.
Dark hair cascaded down her back, each curl catching the fading sunlight in subtle shifts.
Her brown roots deepened to ember-red. I’d never seen hair like it—not even with my heightened vision.
I’d never known anyone like her, either.
Barefoot and curious about the world around her, she stopped to smell the red geraniums, roses, and peonies lining her path. She plucked a few and tucked them into her unbound hair. It was the most relaxed I’d ever seen her.
Color—life—had returned to her, chasing away the shadows of her grief. Drawn to her radiance, she was impossible to look away from.
I had little desire to dim her light again with the damning truths I carried.
It hit me then like a sword to my stomach: her beauty was staggering. I’d thought it before, by societal standards, but our recent conversations had shattered any illusion of objectivity. The way she moved through the world, the way she breathed in her surroundings… it fascinated me to no end.
I found myself wondering what reason I would have for disobedience and deceit if I were to let myself trust her fully. Completely. If we worked together to solve the mysteries that shrouded our realm rather than apart… to Felaf’s point, the realm might very well be better for it.
But where would I satiate the need for my self-inflicted wounds? No one save for Gregorios could ever know the true horrors of my past.
I spotted my communica dangling over her breasts. It was my only one, but the court’s trove contained more. An absurd amount of satisfaction curled deep in my stomach that she hadn’t traded it for another.
When Maryn recently questioned its frequent presence, Gregorios had justified its need due to her lack of formal education—claiming it would allow her to read texts in Scorpion that were from the first Chosens. Luckily, the tutors and advisors hadn’t thought anything more by it.
For reasons I chose not to examine, I pocketed Rahzlyn’s thigh-chain and counted the seconds until she returned to the queen’s chambers.
“You used the arch today,” Felaf accused as I approached her post. Since our return to the palace, her resentment for the secrets I’d forced her to keep had become palpable.
“To see our special prisoner,” I said. “To no avail.”
“How much longer do we need to keep this up?”
“Until I get him to divulge more information.”
Felaf studied me for a moment. “I heard you two the other night, you know. On the terrace.”
I waited for her to say more—to call me out for getting closer than necessary.
“I’m glad you’re connecting with her. Seems you’ve taken my advice to heart. If you speak with her tonight… Well, go easy on her again.”
“Why?” I demanded. “What happened?”
“Novah asked simple questions about why our remaining water reservoirs were distributed to only the wealthy parts of the queendom, and Maryn…” Felaf toyed with the tip of her braid.
“She’s usually absent for her tutoring sessions, but Maryn happened to overhear this one and humiliated her in front of some servants by calling her an illiterate, busty, harlot fraud.
” Felaf cringed. “The palace is swirling with questions about Novah’s validity as a Chosen, likely Maryn’s intent. ”
“That’s ridiculous,” I snapped. “They’ll trust Maryn over a seer?”
“The staff are afraid of Letti, so she’ll quell the rumors, but… it wasn’t pretty.”
What the fuck? As Felaf departed, an overwhelming urge to strangle sense into Maryn took hold of me. It dwindled when the door swung open, and there was Rahzlyn. I dipped my head. My pulse quickened as my gaze dragged up her figure to meet her tired eyes. “Rough day?”
She shrugged, feigning indifference. “I’m no stranger to gossip.”
Her wounded eyes told a different story. “Maryn likes control, and everything about you threatens that,” I said.
“Everything?”
I kept my gaze locked on hers. “Her and I are similar that way.”
Rahzlyn tilted her head, dark curls sliding over her shoulder. “I can see it. At least, the cold and domineering mask you wear is similar.”
“It’s not a mask. I’m an ass, remember?”
“Prick on a good day,” she reminded me. “But an arrogant one at that.”
I smirked. “Glad we can agree on something.”
“But you have a better moral compass than she does. While your actions may be self-serving, they’re… righteous. I’m not sure what motivates her. Power, certainly, but there’s more. I haven’t figured her out yet.” She peered at me curiously. “Nor have I figured you out.”
I broadened my shoulders, pondering her judgement of me.
Rahzlyn sighed and leaned against the doorframe. “I’m starving. Is she in the dining hall?”
I listened, then nodded.
“Wonderful. I’ve used up all my social tact for the day, and I might accidentally stab a fork in her face.”
My lips pulled upward. “We can’t have that.”
“No,” she agreed, gesturing behind me. “Though I’d prefer not to dine alone in my room again and could use some company. Not yours in particular, but someone’s. I mean, obviously where I go, you go since I can’t get rid of you. So you’re welcome to eat with me too. If that’s allowed.”
“It’s allowed.”
“Great! Not that we’ll be dining together, of course. Great that you’re allowed to eat too. If you’re hungry, that is. Since you’re practically nocturnal, when do you eat?”
“I usually eat before my post,” I said with amusement. “I’m not hungry.”
“Right. That makes sense.”
Was that disappointment in her eyes? “I’ll lead you to the kitchens.”
“I can find my way there,” she insisted.
“Better hurry then. Your stomach’s louder than thunder.”
Her hands flew to her belly as it emitted a ravenous growl. I chuckled as she squeezed past me with pinkened cheeks.
The halls were empty except for the lunar guard shift, as most servants dined in a small gathering hall in the servants’ quarters at this hour.
The guards tracked her with a mixture of vigilance and puzzlement. Not many knew what to make of her still. I glared at each of them, a warning to any who questioned her validity.
“So,” Rahzlyn began cautiously at my side. I kept my pace slow, matching hers rather than following from behind like I normally did. “About the other night. I’d like to know more about… Hector.”
My steps faltered.
“It would help me to understand you—I mean, this place better.”
A part of me roared in protest to keep the painful memories at bay where they belonged. Another part, a louder and newer one, yearned to meet Rahzlyn’s vulnerability with my own.
My hands flexed at my sides. I breathed through the discomfort.
“Hector—” My mouth clamped shut. I tried again.
“Hector was Scorpio’s solar guardian for nearly forty years.
The queendom loved him. He was a legend on the Isles.
When I became a Chosen, I thought I knew everything.
I came to this palace with confidence, arrogance even. ”
“Shocking.”
I suppressed a grin despite the somber topic. “By your logic, is your manhood insufficient?”
She laughed, the sound enveloping me with its warmth. “Such logic only applies to men who piss me off.” Her eyes dipped to my mouth. “You have a nice smile, Raithe. You should wear it more often.”
My stomach flipped. I hadn’t realized I’d been smiling. “Uh—”
Rahzlyn touched my right arm, and I nearly tripped over my own fucking boots. “It’s just a compliment,” she murmured. “You were saying?”