45. Rahzlyn
Rahzlyn
I returned to consciousness with a groan, feeling as though I’d been roused from an ancient slumber.
“Nice and slow,” a woman said. I tensed at first, vividly remembering being dragged against my will before everything went dark.
The voice was warm, earnest, familiar.
Felaf. I looked at her bloody, dirt-soaked face with relief.
She’d removed most of her layers, wearing only a sleeveless vest, pants, and boots.
She smiled, her hands guiding me upright from the coarse ground.
I took in our surroundings, finding us tucked away in an alcove that served as a small shrine to Scorpio, carved within a wall of stone.
We were at the top of a hill, steeply up the road from billowing clouds of gray and black painted where the calamity had occurred.
“What happened?” I asked as Felaf checked me for signs of more serious injury.
“Explosions. Three of them, targeting the entire road we were on.”
“Your stomach—you were stabbed!” I shifted backwards to get a better look. There was a gaping hole in her clothes, but she appeared normal.
“Already healing, and nothing Gertah won’t be able to help fully mend. I’ll be fine. You, on the other hand…”
“I’ve been better,” I said shakily. A gash throbbed on my head, but otherwise I seemed unscathed. “I don’t remember anything.”
“I followed your screams. You were being carried away, but I didn’t—couldn’t—see anyone with you.
At all. It was frighteningly strange. Once I grabbed hold of you, I got us away from there until Vesperah and other city guards approached.
This seemed like a good place to take you—enclosed, small, protected, with a view of what was happening down below. ”
“How is it possible that we both couldn’t see them?”
“Raithe encountered something similar during Cyrene’s trial. I’m glad I saw you before it was too late.” She approached the entrance of the shrine. The entire backside of her clothes had been burned through.
I gasped. “Felaf, your skin—”
“Already healing.” She tossed her grimy braid over her shoulder. “Looks worse than it is right now.”
“How long have I been out?”
“Not long. At first, I thought it was your head wound that rendered you unconscious. Then I smelled the vervain on your breath.”
My tongue roamed the roof of my mouth. I never wanted to taste vervain again.
“Vesperah has guards stationed right outside this shrine. By now she’s already sent word to the palace of what’s occurred. Until the district feels secure, we’re waiting it out here. Unless, of course, you feel unwell.”
Apart from my trembling limbs, it felt like my brain had been thoroughly jostled inside my skull. What right did I have to be ridden by shock, when many others were likely not as lucky as me?
My blood boiled. “Vervain. Green fire. That means…” I tried to say the word “apostate” to her, but that familiar tightness closed around my throat.
The magic of the brand on my foot was impossibly strong, assuming our theory was correct.
Even more impossible was how I had no trouble talking about the apostai to Raithe, without him bearing a brand. A mystery for another day.
“The apostai, yes,” Felaf finished for me.
I didn’t understand. “Why would they target a bathhouse?”
“It wasn’t just the bathhouse. The citadel’s holding cells were nearby as well.”
“That hardly follows their theme of sacred places.”
“Maybe they were targeting us. Targeting you, and wanted to use the explosion as a cover-up.”
“But how could they have known where we’d be?”
Felaf shrugged. “Maybe they were targeting the dungeons to free other apostate prisoners?”
“But that doesn’t make sense, either. I thought Maryn’s orders don’t allow for any tolerance. All suspected are brought to the palace and interrogated, then executed. That means there shouldn’t be any in the citadel, right?”
Felaf tapped her foot. “I mean, yes, there shouldn’t be, but… there’s… Stars, fuck me.”
“What is it?”
“There’s something I need to tell you.” Her face was suddenly wracked with guilt. “Well, some things that I should have told you weeks ago.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I—shit.” Her eyes shuttered closed. “Perfect timing.”
And then I saw him. Raithe, sauntering up the hill. He was here. Elation swelled in my chest at the mere sight of him. I stepped forward, then halted.
He shut us out, I reminded my wounded heart. My feet rooted firmly in place. He was here out of duty—out of necessity. He didn’t care about our silly conversations. He didn’t care about me, about Rahzlyn; all that mattered was Novah’s safety. I was his princess, and he was my guardian.
But when our eyes locked, my stomach fluttered.
One moment he was at the bottom of the hill, and a breath later, he stood before me.
His speed, his presence, sent a wave of dizziness over me.
He was nearly healed from his fight with Barto, yet the faint traces of bruising on his face lingered. My heart clenched.
Something unidentifiable brewed in his eyes. Tension corded his neck. Oh, he was pissed.
I braced for impact.
“You’re hurt,” he observed in a deceptively cool tone.
“I’m fine, it’s only—”
“You’re literally bleeding.” His glowing eyes lifted to my forehead with displeasure.
I touched the wet, tender spot. Blood. “It’s just my head.”
“Just?” he hissed. “What the fuck, Felaf?”
“I’ve already inspected her vitals. She’ll be fine,” Felaf assured him.
He glared at her. “Nothing about this is fine.” His hands trembled at his sides.
I’d never seen him like this before. Instead of cowering, I dared a step closer.
“This was my idea. If you want to rip someone to shreds, I’m your woman.
” I crossed my arms tightly over my chest. “I knew the risks coming here. Felaf protected me. She kept me safe. And if you hadn’t been such an ass up until today, maybe you could have too. ”
Raithe lifted his brows, momentarily stunned.
“You can berate me all you want and call me silly for doing such a reckless thing. I’ve heard it all before.”
“I’m not—”
“But Felaf has nothing to apologize to you for.” I tilted my chin defiantly. “And neither do I.”
“If you’d let me—”
“Being a guardian doesn’t entitle you to act like a prick and do as you please with no regard for how your actions hurt others.
You’ve ignored me—I mean, us—for weeks. So while you were too busy feeding your messed-up appetite for pain, I brought Felaf here to help me understand the Scorpion people. Our people.”
“I didn’t say—”
“You didn’t have to,” I said. “It’s written all over your face.”
“For fuck’s sake, I’m not mad!” Raithe exclaimed, startling Felaf and me. He dragged his hands through his hair in a swift, frustrated motion. “I’m—”
“You’re what? Disappointed?”
“Terrified,” he rasped. “I’ve been fucking terrified, Rahzlyn.”
My head spun. “You… what?”
Felaf remained silent but cocked her head. As if she, too, couldn’t quite believe what Raithe was admitting. Raithe didn’t get scared. He said so himself.
“You mistake my fear for anger.” His attention fixated on me as if Felaf were no longer present. “I thought…” He winced. “I thought something happened to you.”
It was my turn to stare in confusion. “But… you’re mad at me for coming here and putting myself in danger. At Felaf for not telling you the plan. Aren’t you?”
“This isn’t me being mad. It’s—” He broke off with a frustrated huff.
“Yes, I was upset that you both left the palace without me. But you’re a grown woman.
A princess, capable of making your own choices—no matter how heedless I find them.
But when I learned of an attack…” He shook his head.
“I should have been here. I’m sorry I wasn’t. ”
Felaf’s jaw dropped. “You’re sorry?”
My heart swelled. “Oh.”
“Yes, oh. Is that so surprising to you?”
“Considering your recent behavior, yes. It is, actually.”
“Then you’ve underestimated how much I care.” He glanced at Felaf. “About my princess, that is.”
“Oh,” I said again, heart deflating. It was all too much to process from him. “Right.”
Raithe removed his gloves and lightly examined my wound with his fingertips. “Now why don’t you tell me about this plan of yours. I assume it constitutes more than a single syllable?”
Somewhat breathless, I said, “I wanted to experience this city and learn about its people for myself. I can’t do that by reading a book holed up in the palace, hiding the way Maryn does. I know you think it was foolish—”
“It’s admirable. And brave. I wish you would have confided in me so I could have been here to protect you, too.” Raithe wordlessly tilted my head left and right, up and down, gently probing for other signs of injury. “I understand why you didn’t.”
I became all too aware of his closeness, my gaze snagging on his.
His fingers stilled on my face, that same awareness mixed with regret taking hold of him.
“Rahzlyn, I—”
“Ahem.”
Felaf.
Right.
Shit.
We stepped apart as casually as possible. I desperately wanted to be alone with him, somewhere our proximity didn’t matter and I could hear exactly what he’d wanted to say.
I smoothed my hair back with jittery hands. “You mentioned you had something important to tell me, Felaf?”
Raithe’s head snapped in Felaf’s direction. Her eyes were overwhelmingly pleading as something unidentifiable passed between them. Whatever she’d wanted to tell me, Raithe seemed to already know what it was.
“She deserves to know,” Felaf implored him. “About Kole? And about—”
“Kole?” I questioned. “My Kole?”
I could have sworn Raithe flinched.
“What about him?” I demanded. My calmness from before was entirely erased by the idea that they knew something I didn’t and had kept it from me. “We’re not leaving until one of you tells me what’s going on.”
Raithe swallowed once before meeting my eyes. The ground beneath my feet shifted as he finally revealed the truth.
Kole had been in that dungeon.
Kole was freed from said dungeon, a result of the apostai attack.
Kole was responsible for the explosion that killed my grandparents.
Kole was an apostate.
Mel was an apostate.
Basil was an apostate. Jere hadn’t been a surprise, but the others…
Basileus, Melanie, Kolbyn—they were all liars, and I the foolish believer.
The reality of it all slammed into me. I had suspected, but to hear the truth of it tore apart my heart.
The people I’d once trusted had all used me, used my ignorance, for their personal gain.
I replayed every single moment with each of them, wondering how I could have possibly missed what was right in front of me.
I was nothing more than a pawn in their apostate scheme.
And my brother…
My brother was one of them. Had he known what I was tasked to do all along? I wondered if he was even captured. If he was even dead.
My ears rang as Raithe detailed his ventures in Gemini on his quest to find me. How he’d known Kole was an apostate all along and didn’t tell me.
“Rahzlyn?”
Tentative hands reached for me. I shoved them away as a cold, invisible wall steeled me from myself. It was as though I was there but watching from a distance. My words and actions were a hollow response to the world around me.
“Thank you for that enlightening information,” I intoned. I didn’t recognize my voice. “And for reminding me what an incompetent, gullible idiot I’ve been. I’d like to go home now.”
Neither Raithe nor Felaf said anything as I began the trek down the hill.