Chapter 12
Twelve
Licking my lips, I wiggle my hips further down the seat and tighten the hold I have on his cock. I nudge the crown into my wet underwear, then tip my pelvis to nestle his shaft against the thin fabric.
“Fuck. W-what are you—”
“Getting your cock nice and wet, like you wanted.” I smile innocently while rubbing him over me. “And skipping to the next text.”
His breathing gets heavy. Heavier yet when his cock jumps in my hand, and I slap it back down on my pussy.
“We shouldn’t do this.” He makes no move to stop the way his hips rock in tandem with the stroke of my hand.
Guilt knots up at the base of my throat. “You’re probably right.”
Agony flares his nostrils. “I need you to tell me to stop, angel. I can’t—fuck. I don’t want to stop. Need you to make me.”
My clit throbs under the barely-there tease of his shiny, wet head. “Then again… we’re already doing this. Stopping now doesn’t magically make the situation disappear.”
“No fucking, though. Just touching.”
I nod. “No fucking.”
His hand envelopes mine, and together we thrust his rock-hard dick against my cunt. Our moans tumble out at the same time, and he smirks down at me.
He presses into me through the cotton—my underwear a makeshift condom—not quite deep enough for me to feel the stretch my body’s deprived of. He pulls back, and pushes in slower, provoking a helpless cry as my muscles clench around empty space.
“Look at her trying to wrap around my cock even with your panties in the way. You want me bad, don’t you?”
“Oh God, yes.”
I want him more than I’ve ever wanted anything. Even with fabric still between us, I’ve never felt so close to someone. I’ve never experienced this deep-seated desire to be wanted, an insatiable need to be touched.
On one slow upstroke, I hook my pinky around the edge of my underwear and lift so he can slip underneath.
“Angel,” he scolds. His hips freeze for a heartbeat, a frayed moan clawing up his throat, and Holden leans forward to kiss me tenderly.
“Please,” I whimper into his hot mouth.
With a small thrust of his hips, the head of his erection prods at my entrance for a split second before gliding up through my wetness to catch on my clit.
My underwear’s a tight fit around his shaft, keeping him close and applying extra friction.
I tighten my hand at the base of his cock, feeling the throb in his swollen veins and the way he spasms in our joined hands with each stroke through my arousal. Obscene sounds fill the truck cab.
“Oh—that’s so—fuck. Fuck, Sunday. That’s good.” He groans the words more than speaks them, shifting my panties so they catch on every inch of him, and I reach up to rake my nails down his chest. “Fuck, I’m going to hell.”
“Ah, your homeland.” I smirk, though the agony of feeling him spread my arousal over my tender cunt makes me want to die. “Take me with you, please.”
The feel of his massive girth sliding through my folds drives me to the brink of insanity. The thick ring around his tip strikes my clit over and over. Slow, like he’s indulging in the feel, wanting this to last as long as possible.
I zone out on the desire-drunk look in his eyes. On the sound of wet skin on wet skin, and the gentle rock of the truck, and the whistling wind outside.
“I love watching you squirm, pussy begging for my cock,” he rasps. “Most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”
“More,” I whine. I need more pressure, more speed, more something. The next words somersault off my tongue a little too quickly. “Fuck me, Holden.”
“We can’t, remember?” He spreads the drenched cotton over my pussy and presses into me again. It’s infuriating. “We agreed—no fucking.”
“Just the tip doesn’t count,” I argue.
He growls. “You’re killing me.”
“Not feeling you is killing me.”
“Oh god, Sunday. You’re…” He prods my entrance through the fabric again, testing the limits. “I’ll give it to you, but only for a second.”
“That’s all I need.”
One second. Just the tip.
Surely that will be enough to sate me.
I smooth my fingers over the edge of his moistened crown, guiding it to where I’m literally dripping with need. He notches into me, the sudden hit of arousal leaving me winded. My body’s heavy. Blood thick.
He eases in with a sharp inhale. No more than an inch, but it’s enough that I feel the stretch everywhere. A shiver racks his body.
Holden pauses there. Luxuriates in the feel of our joined bodies. Whimpers linger in his throat, and when he finally pulls out, it’s to immediately—though slowly—push the tip back in with a resounding grunt.
“Fuck, you’re dripping down me. How good does it feel having the head of my cock inside you?”
“Mmm, good.”
“But you want more.”
Fuck, do I. Giving in to temptation, I roll my hips, forcing him the tiniest bit deeper. One stroke of his cock inside me doesn’t really count as fucking, I don’t think.
“Greedy girl,” he tuts, then drives forward a single time.
I’m enraptured by an all-consuming heat. I cry out, pawing desperately at his broad chest and tugging at the dark-brown hair. He sinks down to suck my nipple into his mouth, pulling an arch out of my spine that wedges his cock impossibly deep inside.
“I can’t take it. Your cunt looks so pretty, a-and the way you’re squeezing my cock, I—” Holden breathes a heady, intoxicating moan right next to my ear. “I’m going to fuck you now, okay? You tell me if you want me to stop.”
“Don’t you dare stop.”
He gathers me in his arms, peeling my sweat-slicked back off the leather seat, and holds me as he starts to move.
I feel both trapped and the safest I’ve ever been.
His mouth claims mine in a tender, sweeping kiss.
At the same time, he buries himself so deep, I wonder if I’ll ever not be able to feel him. I worry I’m forever changed.
My hands memorize the heat of his skin, the valley of his spine and the tiny divots just above his ass. I grab his ass and smirk at the tiny curse word he utters through gritted teeth.
“I fucking love being inside you.”
That may as well have been a love confession, the way my insides flip.
I catch his mouth with a searing kiss, and we rock together.
His cock hits every pleasure point inside me.
It’s altogether rough and gentle, and I pay attention to the bliss painted on his face until I can’t focus on anything anymore.
I feel him in every atom of my body, humming while I climb higher and higher toward the edge of another orgasm.
I close my eyes and see stars, so vivid and beautiful, I could cry.
My stomach tightens, then my legs seize around his waist, with my feet pointed so hard they start to cramp.
And all at once, an orgasm hits with the force of a tidal wave, knocking me off my feet and dragging me under.
He doubles down, pulling at my hips to meet each deep, pummeling thrust. My hands roam the back seat, searching for purchase, before opting to grip the edges of the upholstery for dear life.
The air is hot and thick, the sounds wet and salacious.
The waves keep towing me under, and each time I come up for air, I’m more breathless and limp than I was before.
Holden pulls out of me, and I gasp at the sudden loss. My body seems incomplete without him filling it. With a harsh moan ripped from his throat, he comes in hot, roped spurts all over my stomach and pussy. For a moment, he sags, quietly fighting to catch his breath.
“Sunday,” he whispers. “Bad news.”
I blink rapidly to refocus my vision and prop myself up on my elbows. “What?”
“We broke the ‘no fucking’ rule, and I don’t regret a single second of it.”
I sigh. “Me neither. Does that make us terrible people?”
He shrugs and turns to rummage in the pocket behind the driver’s seat. A second later, he emerges with a package of tissues and silently gets to work cleaning up the mess he made of me.
After a while, he finally speaks up. “You’re not terrible.
Like you said, he’s been cheating on you for months.
But I’m a piece of shit. He hasn’t always been the best brother, but he also didn’t deserve to have me hoping he’d fuck up so I’d get my chance from the moment you hopped in my truck a few weeks ago. ”
I let him help me into my shorts. “You could’ve had a chance a year ago, and every day since. I liked you first, too, but you made it seem like you couldn’t stand me.”
He plucks my hair tie off his wrist and hands it to me, then studies the way I meticulously pull my hair into a high ponytail.
“It was easier than admitting I was pissed at my brother for having the one thing I wanted. And I thought if you decided I was an asshole, we’d never find ourselves in a situation like…
well, like this.” His palm settles onto the top of my thigh.
“Now here we are, and my only regret is that I didn’t fight for you back then. ”
But we can fight for this now.
Screw waiting until the end of summer. I’m breaking up with Logan as soon as we get home.
I’ll move back in with my mom. It’s only short term, so I’ll find a way to handle it.
The boys will be on the road for the rest of the summer, and once they’re back, Holden and I can be together for real.
Enough time will have passed, we’ll have plausible deniability.
Logan won’t even be mad—okay, less mad—by then.
Holden’s thumb brushes my chin, and he leans in to kiss me softly. “If you want me now—”
“I do.”
He’s smiling too hard to kiss me, but it doesn’t stop him from trying. Lips and teeth press to mine, and I nip at his bottom lip with a giggle.
“Feel this?” He links our fingers, clutching them tight to his chest. I feel it—his heart knocking on the back of my hand, a steady and secure beat. The kind I could rest my head against and fall into what I’m sure would be the deepest sleep of my life. “It’s yours.”
When we pull back into the rest stop and see Logan sitting outside in a camping chair, hat pulled low and dark sunglasses on, it feels as though all the air has been sucked out of the truck. Holden’s hand slowly untangles from mine, and I stare down at the empty spaces between my fingers.
“What if he knows somehow?” I ask the question that’s been niggling at me since we left the grocery store.
In there it was so easy to get swept up in playing pretend. We held hands, and he told me more about the job he’s starting this fall. He made fun of my coffee creamer, and I teased him about his kiddy snacks. We made out when we got back to the truck.
I don’t regret anything, but I do feel guilty.
“Angel, he doesn’t know. But if he finds out, I’ll handle it. Okay?”
I nod, mentally preparing to slip back into the role of Logan’s girlfriend. Just until we’re not trapped in a vehicle together anymore, I remind myself.
Holden climbs out of the truck first and loads his arms with groceries before sauntering over to his brother. Fucking brave, if you ask me. If Logan jumps up and punches him, Holden’s basically defenseless without either hand free.
Brown paper fast food bag clenched in my hand—a peace offering, of sorts—I hold my free hand over my stomach, trying to keep the rolling nausea to a minimum.
“My girl followed through.” Logan pumps his fist in the air, eagerly taking the bag. Then his expression changes, and he sighs. “For fuck’s sake. Why didn’t you leave the top of the bag open a little bit so some of the steam could escape? They’re soggy now.”
“Oh, I—”
“I had one request, Sunday.”
Holden turns a heated, defensive look onto his brother. “Dude, it took us half an hour to drive back here. They would’ve been gross regardless. Don’t be an asshole to her about it.”
“Whatever.” Logan huffs and crumples the bag in his hands, then sets his sights on the groceries Holden placed just inside the open door of the trailer.
“You got the horses ready to go?” Holden changes the subject. “I want to hit the road in the next fifteen minutes or so.”
“Yup. Was just waiting to load them until you guys got back.” Logan rummages around in the cloth shopping bags, then haphazardly rips into one of many small cardboard boxes and pulls out an ice cream sandwich. “Thank God you got ice cream, at least.”
Logan wiggles a second ice cream sandwich at Holden. “Want one?”
“Nah, man. Ate a Sunday earlier.” Holden’s eyes cut to mine.
My heart crashes into my stomach, and I choke on my own spit. Through a fit of coughs, I swallow and swallow, trying to make it all stop with a couple firm pats of my fist on my chest. My cheeks are flaming, and I shoot past Logan to get inside the trailer before he notices.
Mouth filled with ice cream, Logan mumbles a barely audible, “Typical.”
I pause outside the bathroom door.
“You gave me so much shit about morning milkshakes at that diner, and you’re out here having sundaes for breakfast. You guys should’ve brought me one of those instead of the fries.”
“Sorry, man. It was delicious.”