Chapter Twenty Dominic
Chapter Twenty
Dominic
A manda had been at his house plenty of times before, but as she sat down on his living room couch tonight, things felt abundantly different to Dominic.
There was a hesitancy in her movements that he’d not seen before, but he knew her long-term dating history was minimal and that her most recent dating experiences had been nothing less than shitty. He didn’t know much more than that, frankly, but he was sure she’d talk to him more eventually. It had already felt like a huge leap of faith that she’d told him about her father tonight and the origins of her hyperindependence. He’d suspected something was behind how she kept so many people at arm’s length, but it was helpful to understand the full picture more now.
And he didn’t blame her one bit.
The absence of his father in his life had always been hard for him, but he couldn’t imagine what it would have been like to have had him and then have him taken away. In some ways, he wondered if it was easier to never know what he’d lost than it was to have had it—or some version of it—for a short time.
“I only have beer,” Dominic informed Amanda as he walked into the living room with two bottles of a pale ale he’d gotten in a six-pack at the farmer’s market last weekend. “I thought I still had a bottle of white or red wine somewhere, but I guess not.”
“I like beer,” she replied, taking one of the bottles as he held it to her. She took a sip out of the top of it and gave a slight grimace. “This is great.”
He laughed. “You look like you just drank vinegar.”
“It’s just an acquired taste,” she replied with that smile he’d gotten to see so often tonight. He’d seen her fake smiles a few times over the last month, and those were all teeth and no eyes. Her real smiles, however, were barely on her lips at all. It was in the shine in her eyes and the way she lowered her lashes with this hint of shyness that he never saw in any other area of her life. “I promise I don’t hate it.”
“Okay, but don’t drink it just to appease me,” he said as he settled onto the couch next to her.
Tom had already taken up residence between them, and she was rolling around on her back, clearly hoping someone would play with her. Amanda gave in quicker, ruffling her fingers through Tom’s hair and teasing her with darting her hand back and forth across the couch cushion.
“I promise I’m not,” she said. “I probably won’t have a second one, but one is fine. What’s that saying? Wine before beer, you’re in the clear. Beer before wine, never fine.”
Dominic sipped at his beer. “I think I’ve heard like five different versions of that rhyme, and they all contradict each other.”
Amanda raised her bottle in the air. “Well, cheers to the unknown, then.”
He raised his bottle as well as let out a laugh. “That sounds so ominous.”
“Admittedly, this is my first nonominous date of the summer,” Amanda said, taking a larger swig of her beer this time. “It was a pretty low bar, but I will say, you have topped the other ones so far.”
“So far?” He lifted a brow as he eyed her over the top of his beer. He wasn’t about to let on how thrilled he was to hear that this date was better than her last four, and he tried to remind the alpha male part of him that none of those dates was a threat. “Does that mean I still have time to screw this up?”
“Of course,” she teased, but he also heard a seriousness in her tone at the same time. Understandable, given all he knew about her now. “I once read a study that said it takes seven positive things to outweigh one negative in people’s impressions.”
“How many positives am I at so far?” he asked, now leaning his top half a little closer toward her on the couch.
“Well, there was the dinner conversation—that’s one.” She held up her hands and began to count it out on her fingers. “You paid for dinner, so that’s two.”
“I feel like dinner conversation deserves at least three positives,” Dominic argued playfully. “Or one positive per topic.”
She surveyed him for a moment like she was considering his suggestion carefully, and finally she nodded. “Okay, I’ll give you three for that one. But that still only leaves you at four positives.”
“Jeez, tough crowd.”
Tom jumped off the couch, and suddenly the space between them was left empty.
Dominic glanced down at it at the same time as Amanda, and he could feel the question they weren’t speaking. He wanted to move closer to her. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and kiss her and take her to his bedroom. He wanted to show her how much she meant to him in whatever way she wanted for as long as she wanted, but he didn’t want to push her limits. She’d already revealed so much about herself tonight and asking for more just felt greedy.
So he didn’t move. But she did.
Amanda scooted closer to him on the couch and tossed her legs up over his so that they were laid across his lap.
He placed his hand on her knee and then caressed down the length of her leg until he reached her ankle, then reversed directions and moved back up to her knee.
She leaned back into the couch and sighed, the beer still in her hand but now down at her side. Her eyes fluttered closed for a moment, and he just kept rubbing her legs. The pleasure on her face was undeniable, and he felt such a thrill at being able to give that to her. Sure, he could whisk her off to his room and show her pleasure of a completely different sort, but this alone felt more than enough for right now.
“When is the last time you had a massage?” Dominic finally asked her.
Her eyes opened slowly, lazily, heavy. “A massage?”
“Yeah,” he repeated. “A massage.”
She stared at him for a moment, like she genuinely wasn’t able to pinpoint when. “I guess never, if you are talking professionally. I’ve never been one to be comfortable with strangers touching me, you know?”
He could understand that to an extent, but massage had been part of his postworkout routine and physical therapy while playing baseball, and he’d always loved it. “I guess that can be a bit weird sometimes, but the payout is more than worth it. We had a massage therapist on staff in the locker room around the clock, and Sergio knew what he was doing.”
“Sergio?” She grinned and wiggled her brows. “He sounds like quite the gem.”
He refused to be embarrassed. “He was a master at his craft.”
“I love how in touch you are with yourself,” Amanda commented as she closed her eyes again. “I don’t think I’ve met a man who has the openness you do when it comes to emotions or your body or any of it.”
“Blame it on the therapy,” he joked, but he knew it was more than just that. “But also, my grandfather. I was blessed with a male role model who honestly had more emotional intelligence than I think I’ll ever have. It’s almost like it came naturally to him, but I know it didn’t.”
“What do you mean?” she asked with a small frown.
Dominic shrugged, continuing to rub her legs over her jeans. “I don’t know for sure, but the little bits and pieces I’ve learned about his history were fragmented. He came from the generation that believed children were meant to be seen and not heard, and I think he refused to abide by that.”
“Good for him,” she commented. “Not that we need more outspoken men in the world.”
“Right?” He laughed. “But in his day and age, a son of an immigrant, the first in his family to go to college… I’d imagine it was pretty meaningful for him, as well as difficult.”
“I bet,” she agreed, her voice falling off a bit into a murmur.
“My point in asking was to see if you wanted me to give you a massage,” he tried again. “But I have to admit, I love how even a conversation like that leads to deeper topics between us. I don’t think I’ve ever talked to anyone the way I talk to you.”
She opened her eyes to look at him. “I really like our conversations, too.”
He smiled. “So where did we land on the massage, then?”
Amanda glanced down at his hands, then back at him. There was clearly some concern around moving forward, and he didn’t want to pressure her.
“You know what? Never mind,” he said. “Honestly, I didn’t mean to put any pressure on you. I just love touching you.”
The apples of her cheeks tinged a darker red. “I like touching you, too. But I think we should move slowly. It is our first date, after all. Massages always mean something more.”
He put his hands up in the air. “I promise I was legitimately only offering a foot massage, maybe some leg and calf muscles, too. Not sex.”
She laughed lightly. “All guys say that, though.”
“I don’t want to be lumped in with all guys,” he replied. “I know that’s a common thing, but it’s shitty. No judgment to anyone who does have sex on a first date—more power to them, you know? But that’s not where I’m at right now.”
“What does that mean?” she asked, now wiggling her toes into the crux of his elbow. “You actually just want to rub my feet?”
“Of course,” he promised her. “My love language is physical touch. I think a lot of people confuse that with sex. Like if that is how you show or receive love, it must mean you’re a horndog who needs to get it in all the time. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Physical touch means just that… touch. It doesn’t have to be sexual. Like right now, your legs across my lap… I feel connected to you.”
She smiled at him. “I don’t hate foot massages.”
He placed his hands on her left foot and began massaging the arch softly. “I just want to be connected to you, Amanda.”
“Even if that means sex is off the table?” she asked.
He honestly had not expected sex to be on the table tonight. Sure, he’d love to have sex with her at some point, but he wasn’t in a rush. He’d had that before. Things with Melinda had always been sex heavy from the start, and that never seemed to fade, no matter what they went through. But it also didn’t correlate to much more than that. It hadn’t meant emotional connection, and it hadn’t meant that they couldn’t live without each other.
And right now, he felt like he couldn’t picture a future in which Amanda wasn’t part of his evenings, his nights, and his mornings.
“You can try to seduce me as much as you want with those big brown eyes,” he teased. “But as much as you might beg me to make love to you tonight, I’m not going to give in.”
She laughed, her eyes fluttering closed again as he found a spot on her arch that was very tense, and he gently applied pressure until it released. “I’ll try not to feel rejected.”
“It’s a compliment, if anything,” he replied.
They were both quiet for a moment, until she finally sighed and opened her eyes again to look at him.
“Make love, huh?” she said, barely a whisper now.
He felt his rib cage freeze as his heart thundered louder in his chest. “Anything between us would be making love.”
“It would be,” she agreed. “I actually think it really would be.”
She sounded like she was surprised or trying to understand something new. Either way, he wasn’t sure, but he found it heartwarming. He wanted to prove to her that romance could be different than the experiences she’d clearly had before that were so negative.
He couldn’t promise forever, but he could promise respect and kindness.
She deserved that more than anything, and he hated that she hadn’t experienced that before.