Chapter 11
Chapter Eleven
The next scheduled date for Katrina’s therapy session was the Monday after high school graduation.
All morning, Ada had considered how to cancel their appointment, weighing her choices and trying to figure out a way out of seeing her spikiest patient.
I know it’s probably all in my head, but I can’t fight this anxiety, this fear.
But by the time she drove to the office that morning, Katrina was still on the schedule, and Ada was worked up.
Natalie sat at the front desk, smiling happily as Ada entered. “How was the rest of the night?” Natalie cried. “Hannah looked beautiful. You all did.” Natalie had attended the graduation party but left early to tend to her younger family.
Ada poured herself a cup of coffee and flashed back to the gorgeous night she and her family had spent on the beach in front of their home: dancing in the waves, stretching their arms beneath the soft moonlight, and playing song after song and singing along.
This had been long after Greg and Laurie had driven back to their place and Kathy had gone upstairs and fallen asleep.
It had been just the five of them: Peter, Ada, Hannah, Kade, and Olivia.
“It was a dreamy weekend,” Ada admitted, filling her mouth with coffee. “I didn’t think it would go half as well.”
“Hannah deserves it,” Natalie said. “So do you.”
Ada smiled. “Now, summer begins! Another perfect summer on Nantucket Island!” She entered her office, where she sat and reread her most recent notes regarding Katrina’s mental state and current problems. The last time Ada had seen Katrina, Katrina had been over the moon about her new boyfriend, quoting his “starry-eyed” words and talking about meeting his children one day.
Ada half expected, half hoped that everything had fizzled with the new boyfriend by now.
Perhaps Katrina had gone through a breakup, something Ada was well-equipped to help her with.
She had worksheets they could go through together. She had top tips for broken hearts.
Not that Ada herself had ever had a broken heart. Not from a romantic situation anyway. The opera story was a very different one, one that she couldn’t look at straight-on for fear that it would swallow her up.
Quinn hadn’t reached out after their call the other day, which was to be expected.
But Ada’s real hope today was that Katrina would say something to let Ada believe, fully, that Peter wasn’t Katrina’s boyfriend.
Not that Peter would do something like that.
Didn’t he prove at the graduation party how kind and loving he was?
Wasn’t he there for us this weekend during every step of the way?
Ada hated that she’d been testing him, but she had been.
Maybe that was part of what marriage was?
Katrina entered the office two minutes late. Ada’s adrenaline spiked.
“Morning,” Ada said, forcing herself to smile as Katrina sat down. Katrina was dressed beautifully, in a long linen dress with a square neckline. Impossibly, she looked younger than she had a few weeks before, as though she’d taken some kind of elixir of youth.
Ada offered, “I want to apologize for missing our last few sessions.”
“Don’t worry about it!” Katrina said. “Natalie mentioned that your daughter graduated from high school. I’m sure it’s been a stressful time.”
Ada hesitated, searching Katrina’s tone for signs she was toying with her.
“Congratulations, by the way,” Katrina said. “It’s a big deal. Very emotional, I’m sure.”
“Yes,” Ada said. “My husband and I have been all over the place. Crying one minute, laughing the next.” She hit the word husband especially hard and searched Katrina’s face for signs of guilt. There was nothing. Brightness. Emptiness.
Katrina chuckled. “I don’t have kids, but I remember how my own mother was when I graduated. Well, I remember how I was, too. I was terrified to leave home, to leave my friends.”
“I think my daughter feels the same,” Ada admitted, then closed her lips. The last thing she wanted to do was discuss Hannah with her patient. It was unprofessional. It was Hannah’s life, not Ada’s, and certainly not Katrina’s.
But Katrina looked intrigued. This was common, Ada knew. Patients were often curious about their therapists and yearned to befriend them. Ada had always had strict boundaries. She would continue to have strict boundaries. What’s wrong with me lately?
“Tell me. How have the past weeks been for you?” Ada asked, formalizing her tone.
Katrina blushed. No breakup to speak of, Ada thought—only joy.
“Well, the Salt Sisters have been so wonderful,” Katrina gushed.
“I can’t remember how many times we’ve hung out now—coffee, wine, dinners, hikes.
We've done everything I've always wanted to do with friends over the years. Everything I used to do with my husband. But I remember going out with my husband, how we would sit there, looking at each other or not, and wait for the night to be over. Obviously, he was waiting for the night to be over so that he could text his mistress. But it isn’t like that with the Salt Sisters. There is no silence.”
Ada smiled, thinking of Peter, who hadn’t looked at his phone once during the graduation party (that she’d noticed, anyway). He’d been engaged and engaging, kissing Ada and expressing his love for his family. That wasn’t the kind of man who was in the midst of a life-altering affair.
For a little while, Katrina discussed her relationship with her mother, how “wrong” she’d felt as a child, and how she thought that might have carried over into her relationship with her husband as well.
It was a typical yet intriguing dynamic with plenty of variables.
The conversation about it took up the majority of the hour.
At this point, Ada was hopeful that Katrina wouldn’t bring up the new boyfriend at all.
Maybe they’d talk about her mother for the rest of the summer—and then Katrina would move on to another therapist.
But then, ten minutes before the session was through, Katrina sighed and pulled at the tips of her hair. “I have to say, things with my boyfriend are all over the place.”
Ada raised her eyebrows, her pulse quickening. “What do you mean by that?”
“I mean, sometimes I think we’re really, truly in love,” Katrina said. “And other times, I suspect his mind is elsewhere. Like maybe he’s not ready for the intensity between us.”
Ada’s palms were sweaty. She glanced at the clock, urging it forward.
“What makes you think his mind is elsewhere?” Ada asked breathily.
Just ask what his name is. Just get it over with. But she couldn’t. She was too afraid. The room was closing in. Could Katrina see how panicked she was?
“It’s hard to explain,” Katrina said. “He’s always looking at his phone, or he goes quiet and contemplative and stares out the window.
Sometimes he can’t eat the dinner I’ve prepared him, even if it’s his favorite food, because he says his stomach hurts.
I wonder. Is it possible that he’s afraid of what we have? Is it too much for him?”
What’s his favorite food? Ada wanted to ask, although she knew that wasn’t the kind of thing a therapist should ask. However, Peter had a wide range of favorite foods. Steak. Tacos. Dessert. Any answer might send Ada on a crazy downward spiral. All men liked steak, probably.
“Oh, but we’re going out of town together,” Katrina said. “Later this month. I couldn’t believe when he proposed it. It’s like he wants to step up and be what I need him to be.”
“That will be wonderful. It’s always good to get away with someone and see what they’re really like in other contexts,” Ada said automatically. “Where are you off to?”
“We’re going to the Caribbean,” Katrina said dreamily. “For an entire week! I’m over-the-moon excited. We’re going to go sailing and snorkeling, and we’re going to drink cocktails and eat decadent meals every night. It feels like the vacation I deserve after everything that happened last year.”
Ada breathed a sigh of relief. If Peter were going out of town for a week, she’d know about it by now. He’d have told her. He’d at least have made something up.
Katrina talked at length about the hotel suite her boyfriend had sprung for and the weather they’d enjoy on the island. “It’s been a long, hard winter!” Katrina laughed.
“What does your boyfriend do?” Ada asked, feeling a metaphorical needle in her chest. “If you don’t mind me asking. He sounds like he’s well-off.” Of course, being well-off was sort of a given in a place like Nantucket.
“He’s in sales,” Katrina answered. “He doesn’t like to talk about it, which I get.
He says he hates manipulating people into doing what he wants, but he’s good at it.
I guess you can’t fight what you’re good at!
” Katrina laughed and added, “I told him if he’s manipulating me into loving him, I guess I don’t mind. ”
Ada smiled and didn't say, “Wasn’t your husband manipulative as well? Is this really the kind of man you want to be with?” They didn’t have time to get into it during this session. Next week!
All at once, mercifully, the hour was finished, and Katrina was on her feet, talking about the day ahead.
She wanted to weed her garden after all the rain they’d had.
She also wanted to have some of the Salt Sisters over for wine, gossip, and maybe some light bites.
“What’s a good hors d’oeuvres I could make?
” she asked as she followed Ada toward the door.
Ada considered her daughter’s graduation party and the stuffed mushrooms she’d made.
They’d been a hit, disappearing off their tray within a half hour.
And maybe because she was now totally sure that Katrina’s boyfriend wasn’t her husband (99 percent sure), she offered up the recipe easily, texting the list of ingredients directly to Katrina’s phone.
“You’re a lifesaver, Dr. Wagner,” Katrina said, pocketing her cell as she swept toward the lobby. “My life has really opened up since I started seeing you. Looking forward to next week!”