Chapter 16 #2
His voice continued, more confident as they overlaid B-roll footage from his challenge date with Emily, the pair of them in swimsuits, kissing in the outdoor spa overlooking her family’s orchard. ‘But love’s got a way of sneaking in when you least expect it,’ he said on screen.
Spencer’s stomach lurched. They hadn’t exactly dubbed his words, but the sentences were from several different conversations. The way they’d strung those two lines together made it seem as if he’d said them in the same breath.
He reached for the phone, relieved when Clem answered immediately.
‘It’s even worse than I thought,’ Clem said, her voice thick. From the sound of things, she was blocked up. Or was she crying?
‘I’m sorry, Clem, they’ve edited me. I never said I was falling for her, and I don’t know how much you want to know about what went on in the show, but seeing a Franken-edit like that makes me sick.’
‘Well, it isn’t exactly fun watching you snuggling with someone else. My decision to avoid watching was a wise one.’
He wished he could wrap his arms around her, see her face, gauge her reaction in person.
‘Please remember, Clem, this happened before things developed between you and me, and now it’s feeling like it might wreck everything. And we’re not even up to the final episodes yet.’
Clem was silent, and he wasn’t at all sure that was a good thing.
‘If it’s any consolation, Emily and I only kissed once or twice in the whole seven weeks of filming.’
Spencer felt like a scumbag, and though he didn’t elaborate on the fortnight after the final commitment ceremony, he and Clem both knew more had occurred then.
‘I don’t know why I’m surprised. I was there, feeding people, and obviously I knew that was the whole point of the program. I figured I might be in for a few shocks when it went to air, but thinking about it and watching it are two different things.’
She sneezed, then went on. ‘I really like you, Spencer, maybe that’s why it hit me so hard seeing you two in the spa.’
He felt desperately hopeful at her words. ‘I wish you could come around to my place.’
Clem’s soft laugh was soothing. ‘Not with two sleeping kiddos at home. Besides, you don’t want to come near me with this cold.’
By the time they finished talking, the credits were rolling.
Why was he worrying about things he had no control over?
Whatever the producers had created, they were going to air it, whether he was on board or not.
It wasn’t real life, it was just constructed storylines and drama running under the dubious banner of reality TV. Just like Clem had predicted.
The important things, like his students, family, theatre group, his relationship with Clem, deserved so much more of his time and energy, not some trashy program that only vaguely resembled real life. Spencer reached for the remote and switched off the television.
Despite the conversation she’d had with Spencer on Monday night, Clem spent the following day in bed feeling sick and sorry for herself, and before long, the temptation to watch the previous episodes of Love on the Land proved too hard to resist.
When the latest episode had finished, feeling thoroughly miserable, she pulled on a dressing gown, shoved tissues up her nose to save having to blow it constantly, and limped her aching body to the bathroom.
Harriet knew to get the bus home tonight, but Jack hadn’t responded to her SOS for Indi’s daycare pick-up.
Must be out of range, she groaned, swallowing another two Codral. She messaged Mia, who was in Adelaide, Isobel, who was babysitting in Mount Gambier, and then Hazel, who didn’t respond.
Clem groaned at the sight of her reflection in the bathroom mirror. She certainly wasn’t going to ask Sebastian, not when he was dark on her for rostering Selina on to help him with last night’s catering job.
I’d be mad at me as well, if I were him. She ran through her overflowing mental list.
Could I ask Spencer to collect Indi?
Clem shook her head. Those TV contestants had been gorgeous, even when they were in dirty work clothes, being put to the test with less-than-flattering duties around the farm. And after watching them on screen all day, there was no way she needed Spencer seeing her in this state.
When the bus came and went with no sign of Harriet, Clem had no choice. She switched her dressing gown for a jacket, tugged the zip up over her PJs and ditched the tissues before braving the outdoors.
‘Brrr, it’s like ice out here.’ She shivered, putting the Jeep’s heaters on high.
Harriet was waiting sheepishly by the school gate when she arrived, and the lovely Lyndall winced when she saw the state Clem was in. ‘It’s the first hot day in ages, you must be crook to be so bundled up, you poor thing. You’ll look after her, won’t you Harri?’
Harriet nodded. ‘And you look after yourself too, Miss Lyndall. I hope you have a super great weekend.’
Even in Clem’s flu-ridden state, she saw Lyndall’s face falter. ‘Everything okay?’
The young teacher fanned her face, blinking furiously at the sky. ‘Oh crap, don’t get me started. Kyle and I broke up. Again.’
Clem made an apologetic face and sent Harriet next door to the daycare centre. She’d called ahead, begging them to bend the pick-up rules just this once. ‘I hope you smooth it over.’
Lyndall’s red eyes met Clem’s. ‘I’m an idiot.
I believed him when he said he was playing poker with his mates, and I took him back once again, swallowing his apologies and promises that I was the only girl for him.
I should never have trusted him, shouldn’t have ignored that niggling doubt in my stomach, and I definitely shouldn’t have fallen in love with the bastard. ’
The hair on the back of Clem’s arms prickled, and even though the sun was shining and she had the heater running on high, she felt colder than ever. She zipped her jacket all the way up to her chin, trying to shake off the feeling she might be burying her head in the sand too.
She sank lower in her seat when Ian and Louisa Brealy spotted her across the daycare car park, but they waved and headed her way.
Did they have any inkling about her and their son-in-law? She hoped not.
‘We missed you today,’ Ian said. ‘Popped in to top up your honey supply and your offsider said you were crook.’
Clem put on a brave face, hoping they wouldn’t notice her snotty jacket sleeve, or the pyjamas underneath. She was grateful when Harriet emerged from the daycare centre holding Indi’s hand. Gasps followed in her little girl’s wake.
‘Goodness, Indi,’ Ian said, squatting until he was eye-level with the little girl, ‘that’s some very inventive colouring you’ve done.’
‘Do you like my make-up?’ Indi giggled her cheekiest giggle. ‘The daycare lady said a bad word, and she tried to wipe it off but it didn’t all go.’
Louisa’s eyes sparkled with amusement. ‘I bet.’
Harriet gave an unimpressed sigh and helped her little sister into the car. Clem wiped her dripping nose on her sleeve again.
‘She’ll slow down when she hits primary school, that’s what happened with our Belle,’ Ian said. ‘She never missed an opportunity to get into mischief. Then we turned around twice and she was all grown up and getting married.’
Clem was already having trouble handling Spencer and the bikini-clad Emily smooching in a jacuzzi while he was also dating the other blonde ladies. Now she had a visual of his dead wife as a little girl, then her and Spencer’s wedding day. Another woman who owns a piece of Spencer’s heart.
They’re trying to be kind, she reminded herself.
‘We’re all strapped in, Mum,’ Harriet said. ‘Let’s get you home and into bed.’
Clem couldn’t have loved that idea any more if she tried, and when Ian put a hand on her door, she felt like smacking it.
Can’t you see I’m not in a chatty mood? Is the snotty red nose not enough?
‘Harri’s right, I’ve got to get back to bed.’
‘Not with that tyre, you’re not,’ Ian said. ‘Park up, we’ll take you home and we can get it fixed tomorrow.’
Clem felt like crying. Another flat tyre? Had someone been lining the roads with nails?
But when she traipsed back into the house after thanking the Brealys for the lift, shivering in her fluffy slippers and beyond caring that her PJs were most definitely on display, she received a text that delivered yet another blow.
‘Who is it Mum, is it Uncle Jack? Is he coming to make us pancakes for dinner?’
Clem tossed the phone onto the bench. The message was a tip-off from a friend in Narradarra. Not only had she missed out on their canteen catering contract, but it had gone to Marco at Brew Haven, who’d come in cheaper on every single item she’d quoted.
Spencer arrived home to find Ian standing in the driveway at South Giddi Giddi beside a Lexus and a smarmy-looking schmuck.
Dolly bustled up as Spencer grabbed his laptop, lunch box and marking papers from the back seat, and he took an extra moment to pat her as he tried to get a read on the visitor.
The bloke had boots polished to a mirror-like sheen, a sports jacket with patches on the elbows and the least subtle hair dye Spencer had seen in a long time. He laughed when he found out the man was a real estate agent.
Course he was.
Ian caught his look. ‘We’re not selling though, nice as it is to be asked,’ he said firmly. ‘Nor subdividing. Not right now.’
‘You look familiar, mate. You work in Mount Gambier?’ He looked at Spencer’s laptop bag and the bundle of marking under his arm.
Spencer was liking this conversation less and less.
The agent slapped his hand against the thigh of his navy chinos, giving a laugh. ‘That’s where I know you from, you’re that guy from the telly. We’ve been watching you.’
He spun around, taking in the garden. ‘And that’s the famous rotunda from the TV show.
The wife makes me watch the program, and I don’t want to embarrass you, but she’s cheering for you and Emily.
No wonder you don’t want to sell, you’ll be carrying one of those lovely ladies over the threshold and popping out a few babies before they can say ‘shotgun’, right? ’
Spencer cringed. This week’s teaser adverts showed footage of Kyra and Emily cooing over Mia’s baby bump at the friends and family barbecue. He hadn’t seen it until Addison had texted him a link, and half of the school had been giving him stick about it ever since.
‘We’re not allowed to talk about the outcome of the show until the final episode’s aired. If you’ll excuse me.’
He started towards the house, but the bloke’s booming voice was impossible to ignore. ‘If you change your mind, Ian, we’ve got a buyer ready and willing to pay top dollar for a place like this.’
Spencer opened the back door.
‘My client’s cashed up, I’ve no doubt I’ll find them something if I knock on enough doors.
You wouldn’t believe the number of city folk who want to try their hand at small orchards, or truffle farming, miniature goat breeding.
Lots of options, lots of money. I’m happy to help make the magic happen. ’
I bet you are, Spencer thought, shutting the door behind him. Ian was out there a little longer before the Lexus left, and to Spencer’s surprise, he was carrying the agent’s glossy promotional folders when he came inside.
‘I’d rather slather myself in honey and lie in front of the beehives,’ Spencer said, with a shake of his head.
‘Yeah, same here,’ Ian muttered.
‘Cuppa or beer?’
When his father-in-law didn’t answer, Spencer went to the fridge, slipped two stubbies into coolers and grabbed a packet of corn chips.
He’s actually thinking about it.
It was only when they were out on the verandah that Ian cleared his throat, shooting Spencer a searching look.
‘Do you love it here, Spencer? Do you wake up every morning wishing you could spend all day farming? Have you ever wished that Louisa and I would step aside and let you at it?’
Spencer set down the packet. The chips felt like they were stuck in his throat, and he washed them down with beer, considering his answer.
‘I know it was Belle’s dream,’ Ian continued. ‘And I know you two were keen on succession planning all those years ago, but is that still your dream? Or have we hemmed you into that corner, and the idea of taking it on now feels like forcing a triangle through a circle?’
‘Ian …’ Spencer trailed off. Birds flitted past the verandah, the roses around the rotunda swayed in the warm, early December breeze and Dolly snuffled around the garden in search of the echidna she’d spotted the week before.
Could he really leave this place for good?
He’d thought about doing it for Emily, if her dream was to return to her family orchard, and who knew where the relationship with Clem would lead.
He saw a beautiful future together, the opportunity to start a family of their own, but things had felt off this week.
The latest episodes of Love on the Land hadn’t helped, especially last night’s body painting scenes from his solo date with Madeleine.
The fact that Clem hadn’t answered his calls last night or this morning spoke volumes.
And if Louisa and Ian were leaving the district, and Clem couldn’t understand that the television show was more fiction than fact, then what did he have to stay here for?
‘I don’t know what I want,’ he admitted.
Ian traced a line in the dusty glass top of the outdoor table, and Dolly bounded up the verandah steps and settled at Ian’s feet. Even though Ian tolerated, rather than adored pets, he stroked Dolly’s velvety ears.
‘If you want someone to play devil’s advocate, I can do that too. Do you mind me asking what’s keeping you here? Is it Belle? I know you’ve barely looked at other women since Belle died, and things with Emily didn’t go as planned, but maybe it’s time to move on?’
‘Trust me, it’s not that simple.’
Every time he looked out at the garden, or walked through the kitchen, he was reminded of the past, and everything that Belle touched.
‘It was brave to go on that show, Spence. I know you’re not scared of doing hard things, but maybe a more mainstream fresh start will work out a lot better than your last venture.
Maybe you’ll meet a widow, who knows exactly what you’ve been through, or maybe you’ll pick up some new hobbies.
Louisa and I are in our twilight years, and as rough as it sounds, you’ve likely passed the halfway mark, mate.
It’s more important than ever to seek the things that make you happy. ’
Spencer thought of Clem and her girls, Addison, whose kids were now young adults, and Jeff and Mia’s pair of boys. He had so much to be grateful for. So why was he still chasing a version of happiness that maybe he didn’t deserve?