16. Holden
HOLDEN
The noise hits me as soon as I open the door, and I try not to wince. It’s been months since I’ve set foot in this bar, and I instantly regret it. I never thought I’d prefer the quiet of my cabin to blaring country music and people shouting to be heard over it, yet here I am.
My first stop is the bar. I don’t even know why I’m here, except that the glimpse I caught of Sage when my siblings picked her up had my pulse accelerating dangerously.
My gaze had dragged over her, taking in her hair skimming the straps of her short dress and her legs, bare from mid-thigh all the way down to her cowboy boots.
I had no doubt what reception she’d get looking like that.
After they’d left, no matter which TV channel I flicked to, nothing could wipe the vision of her from my mind.
I ended up pacing back and forth, adrenaline I hadn’t felt in far too long burning through my veins.
Before I knew it, I was showered, changed, and racing toward Silverford, even as I questioned what the hell had gotten into me.
Now that I’m here, I might as well stay for a bit. Just long enough for a couple of beers. Then I’ll head back to the cabin and pretend that was my plan all along. That I didn’t come here to keep an eye on a woman I wanted nothing to do with a few short weeks ago.
With my hat tipped low to avoid people’s gazes, I claim a space at the end of the bar and lean against it. When Allie spots me, her brows shoot up, and with a grin, she heads my way.
“Long time no see, stranger.”
I manage a smile back, even though the expression feels stiff. “Enjoy the moment while you can. This place is getting too busy for me.”
Laughing, she pours my beer of choice without needing to ask. “I’d say I’m sorry our popularity is off-putting,” she says, handing me the cold glass, “but I won’t lie to your face.”
I nod my gratitude and take a long sip.
She tips her chin toward the dance floor. “The McBride and Co. table’s over there if you want to join them.”
“Thanks,” I say, making no move to leave.
She searches my expression, then smiles and taps her knuckles on the bar. “Let me know if you need anything else.”
Like any good bartender, she’s a pro at reading moods. And she knows me well enough to leave me alone down here at the far end of the bar.
Once she’s gone, I lean back against the lacquered wood and scan the crowded room. It doesn’t take me too long to locate my siblings and their friends. They’re relaxing on a pair of leather couches on the other side of the dance floor.
It’s impossible not to focus on Sage. She’s sitting between Taryn and Knox, sipping a beer, then smiling at my sister.
Knox leans close, speaking into her ear. When she laughs in response, the muscles in my back and shoulders coil.
Is he flirting with her? Is she flirting back?
I force myself to look away. It’s better if they don’t know I’m here.
On a busy night like this, there is a decent chance they won’t spot me standing in the shadows.
But at least I can keep an eye on them for a little while and make sure Taryn isn’t getting Sage into any crazy trouble. Or the other way around.
Unfortunately, my plan doesn’t quite work out that way.
“Holden McBride,” a warm, feminine voice says. “What a lovely surprise.”
I set my glass down. “Gemma. It’s nice to see you.” The nod I give her is polite, but I make sure my expression isn’t too inviting.
Gemma’s nice enough. I’ve known her all my life; the two of us went to school together. But a few years ago, during one of my rare visits to the ranch, I made the mistake of sleeping with her.
I made it crystal clear before we spent the night together that it was a one-time thing, and she’d been quick to agree.
But the following evening she turned up at my door.
And again the next night. I was polite the first time, firmer the second, and she didn’t come back after that.
I left for the circuit a couple of days later.
In the intervening years, I’ve caught glimpses of her during my short visits, but this is the first time we’ve spoken.
Sliding into the gap beside me, she sets her drink on the bar. “I thought we’d see you out more now that you’re back.”
I force a smile, not all that interested in explaining myself.
“Oh, don’t give me that look.” She laughs. “I’m not going to stalk you this time. I’ve learned my lesson, believe me.”
I will the muscles of my face to relax. That’s a relief. I’m not interested in repeating the past, but that doesn’t mean I have to be an asshole about it. “Just as long as you know nothing’s changed on my end.”
“Of course.” She dips her chin. “Last time I’d just gone through a bad breakup and was feeling a little needy. It’s no excuse for ignoring what we agreed on, but I just wanted to, you know…”
Her shrug is self-conscious enough to make me feel like an asshole. Thinking back, I probably should have been more considerate. I could have at least asked about what was going on in her life before falling into bed with her.
I was so busy making sure she’d keep her distance that I didn’t bother to consider whether I should have kept mine.
I clear my throat. “It’s fine. I could have handled things better.”
She waves a hand dismissively. “Water under the bridge.”
It feels like a dick move to send her on her way right after that, so I nod at her almost-empty glass. “Would you like another one?”
She bites her lip, and I half hope she’ll say no. We may have cleared the air, but the plan I made to justify my presence here tonight is rapidly going out the window.
“Thanks, that would be nice.”
I catch Allie’s eye and nod at Gemma.
“Another one?” she asks Gemma as she approaches.
“Yes, please.”
“You good?” Allie asks me.
I hold up my beer to show it’s still half full.
As she pours another drink, I can’t stop myself from glancing over at Sage. And as if the universe is out to spite me, she looks in my direction at the same time, her eyes widening and her pretty lips parting in surprise. She gives me a hesitant wave, and I raise my hand in acknowledgment.
Gemma follows my line of sight. “Are those your brothers?” she asks. “And Taryn?”
Sage quickly turns away, tipping her head toward my sister, and a moment later, Taryn’s eyes are locked on me. Then she’s on her feet and marching over. Internally, I groan. Then I brace myself for Taryn the tornado.
“Seriously? You turned us down when we invited you out with us tonight, then you slink on in here and hide in the corner anyway? What the hell?”
“Didn’t slink.” The lie is a bad one, considering the way I’m lurking in the shadows.
“Hi,” Gemma pipes up.
My sister gives her a brief smile. “Sorry to interrupt, Gemma. But I’m going to have to steal my brother.”
There’s no getting out of it now. While Sage spends the evening having fun with my family—and Knox—I’ll be forced to watch, with nothing to offer her but an increasingly bad mood.
So, idiot that I am, I fuck things up even more.
“Want to join us?” I ask Gemma.
Taryn gives me a flat look. She and Gemma have never been more than acquaintances, and she probably isn’t keen on having someone she barely knows join the group. But she’s not the kind to deny her.
“As long as there’s enough room. I was here with girlfriends, but they’re all married so they left early.” She gives me a sweet smile. “It’s lucky I spotted you when I did.”
“Yeah.” I avoid my sister’s gaze, and, like I knew she would, she quickly spins on her heel and winds her way back through the crowd.
I gesture for Gemma to follow, and I bring up the rear, already kicking myself. My decision-making skills seem to have gone completely out the window recently.
My eyes land on Sage as we reach the group, despite how badly I want to avoid her. When Taryn introduces her to Gemma, she gives the woman her usual friendly smile, though she follows it up with a gulp of her drink.
“What a surprise.” Chance smirks up at me. “What could have brought you all the way out of your cave tonight?” He tilts his chin toward Sage.
I glare at him. “Just decided to blow off some steam.”
Then I cast my eyes up to the ceiling. Hell, that’s the last thing I should be announcing. Particularly with Gemma at my side, regardless of how innocent her presence is.
Everyone shuffles around to make space, and before I know it, I’m squeezed between Chance and Gemma, sitting opposite Sage and Knox.
As tightly as we’re packed in here, Sage is practically in Knox’s lap, the two of them talking quietly. When he laughs in response to her, my hand tightens around my beer. I force it to relax, then bring the glass to my mouth for a hard swallow instead.
Knox is a good guy. If Sage is interested, it’s got nothing to do with me.
It’s a lie I don’t even come close to believing.
Somehow, Sage has gotten under my skin, and I have no clue what the hell to do about it.
Jealousy’s not an emotion I’m used to. To be jealous, you have to want something enough to care whether someone else takes it.
The only thing I’ve ever wanted that badly was a championship title. And I got that, twice.
My eyes are on Sage again. I can’t stop staring like a fucking creep. At the way her hair drapes over her bare shoulders, and the low neckline of her dress reveals the curve of her breasts. At the silky skin of her thighs as she crosses her legs. And, maybe most of all, her smile.
It’s bright and open and too fucking warm. But it’s directed at everyone but me.
Why the hell isn’t she smiling at me?
Gemma leans into me. “Are you okay? You’re awfully quiet.”
Fuck. I’d almost forgotten she was there. Apparently, I haven’t stopped being an asshole. “Sorry. Just not used to the noise.”
“Sure. I get it.” She pats my leg.
My muscles are drawn so tight I almost flinch at the contact.
Sage’s gaze meets mine, and this time neither of us looks away. My heart thuds heavily against my ribs, and I imagine what I’d do if I were the one sitting next to her instead of Knox.
If our situation were different, would I drag her onto my lap just so I could feel her weight on me? Would I dig my fingers into all that thick hair and angle her face until it was right where I wanted it? Would I taste that lush mouth, not giving a damn that we were in the middle of a crowded bar?
Maybe.
Maybe if she didn’t have to worry about her career and there weren’t professional lines drawn between us. And maybe if I didn’t suspect that starting something like that with her would end up not feeling temporary at all.
Yeah, maybe I would.
I force my eyes away, taking a swig of my beer before I do something even more stupid than I’ve already managed tonight.