29. Holden
HOLDEN
Ilean against a post, cold beer in hand, watching with amusement as River gestures broadly, telling loud stories to our friends and family. Mia’s daughter, Ruby, is sitting next to him with stars in her eyes. Apparently, he can charm women of all ages.
My gaze drifts to Sage, who’s seated between Mia and Taryn, laughing at River’s story.
She fits in here too easily. With my family.
Hell, with me.
The dangerous part is how easy it is to picture her staying. I take another swallow of beer. That’s a thought I’ve got no right having.
But the longer I watch her, the more it seems her mood has shifted, as if she’s not quite as carefree as she was earlier.
River finishes his story, then excuses himself, and with a fresh beer in hand, he wanders my way.
“What are you doing all the way over here? You’re missing out on hearing about all my exploits.”
“I’m sure you’ll tell them plenty more times.”
“And they’ll get better every time.”
I shake my head, my attention shifting automatically back to Sage.
“Well, hell, big brother,” River drawls. Should’ve known he’d notice.
I stay focused on the table. “Don’t start.”
He holds his hands up, a beer still in one of them. “I wasn’t going to start anything.”
“Good.”
I can sense him studying me. “You look happier than when I left.”
I glance his way. “You’ve barely been back ten minutes.”
“It’s hard not to notice, man.”
I rub my palm over my chest, not entirely sure what to do with that comment.
Across the yard, Sage lifts her camera, pointing it at Taryn, Riley, Ruby, and Greta, who are sitting together beneath the string lights that Quinn and I hung in the trees.
She smiles as she takes the shot, like she’s enjoying herself, the way she did when she took my photo earlier.
I’d noticed her start, then stop, and something had shifted inside me. I didn’t want her to hesitate or question herself just because I’d been an asshole to her when she first arrived.
And maybe, just maybe, I don’t hate the idea of her pointing that camera at me anymore because I like what she sees when she looks through it.
After Sage gets up to get another drink, River’s still looking over at the table. I follow his gaze and find it fixed on Mia, who’s sitting with Ruby on her lap, chatting with Dad.
Interesting.
I’m tempted to make a comment, considering how he called me out, but I bite it back. River’s a natural flirt, but he doesn’t normally mess with single moms. And I don’t want to stir the pot just for the sake of scoring a point.
With a nod to him, I stroll over to the bar where it looks like Sage is considering whether to have another glass of wine or a lemonade. “Can I help?” I murmur as I come up behind her.
“It’s a tough choice.” She gives me a smile that goes straight to my chest.
I prop my hip against the table, crossing my arms to keep myself from tugging her against me in front of everyone. “Can I recommend the lemonade?”
She tilts her head, her silky hair sliding across her shoulder. “Why’s that?”
“Might have a long night ahead of you.”
The way her plush lips purse in response to my statement gives me too many ideas.
“Are you suggesting I’ll need a clear head?”
“I’m saying it’d be a shame to tuck you in with only a good-night kiss when I can think of better uses for my mouth.”
She chokes back a laugh, her cheeks flushing. “You’ve made a convincing argument. Lemonade it is.”
I pour her a cup, my fingers brushing hers as I hand it over. Her smile comes easily enough, but that earlier sense that something’s off with her nags at me. I edge closer. “Everything okay?”
She rolls her lips together, the hesitation giving her away.
“Tell me, Sage.”
“My car.” She taps a nail on the plastic rim of her cup. “It’s fixed.”
A pit forms in my gut. There was a time when I would’ve been glad to hear that. Now it feels like this might be ending too soon.
I run my hand through my hair. “I can take you to pick it up tomorrow if you’d like.”
She smiles, though it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “That would be great, thank you.”
“You know.” I angle closer. “Since you’re still working out here, it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense changing things up now.”
She blinks, her expression lightening. “You mean staying at the cabin?”
“Yeah. And since we’re both working on the ranch, we might as well continue driving in together.”
A smile touches the corners of her mouth. “It would be a shame to waste fuel.”
I let out a quiet laugh. “Exactly.”
“Okay.”
Relief hits me harder than it should. Knowing she’s not packing up tomorrow makes it easier to breathe anyway.
I tip my chin toward the table. “Better get back to Mia before River starts flirting again.”
She glances over her shoulder, laughing as she spots my brother leaning against the table next to her friend.
“I think he might have met his match with Mia,” she says. “She won’t be easily charmed, even by a cowboy with dimples.” As she turns back to me, her smile grows even wider. “Are you coming too?”
“Sure. Let me bring some more wood for the fire pit first.”
With a nod, she makes her way back to the others.
When I get to the equipment shed, Sterling’s already there, leaning against one of the utility vehicles, focus fixed on his phone.
At the sound of my footsteps, he looks up, his expression tense.
“Everything all right?” I ask.
He straightens, shoving his phone into his pocket. “Construction’s been pushed back again.”
“Okay,” I say slowly. “After the storm, we expected a delay, right?”
“I factored in the first delay, sure, but not the second, and we’ve had a few extra costs. Labor overtime, wasted materials, repeated repairs. The last batch of lumber we ordered has warped in the rain, so we’ll need to order more.”
I narrow my eyes. After the last storm, I asked him how tight things were. He told me they were fine. I didn’t quite believe him then. I sure as hell don’t now. “How bad is it?”
He glances up, distracted. “What?”
“The money situation.”
He exhales through his nose. “It’s manageable.”
“That’s not an answer. It wasn’t last time, either.”
He doesn’t respond.
“How tight are things, Sterling?”
He tips his head back for a beat. “Cash flow’s tight. Feed and fuel costs are up, cattle prices have been unpredictable, and between Chance’s breeding program and the expansion, we’ve pretty much burned through our safety net.”
I stare at him, jaw clenched. “You should’ve told me.”
His lips flatten, his nostrils flaring. “You had your own life.”
“What about the cash from my winnings? That didn’t help?”
Lowering his head, he rubs the back of his neck.
“Of course it did. A big chunk of the expansion wouldn’t exist without your investment.
But right now, it’s just lumber and invoices.
We won’t see a return until it’s operating.
Even then, it’s a gamble. If it doesn’t generate enough revenue…
” His jaw tightens. “We need it, though. Cattle keep this place running. What they don’t do anymore is give us much room for the future. ”
He lets out a breath and kicks at the dirt.
“I’ve been back for months now. Why didn’t you tell me?”
He huffs. “Why would I?”
“Because I’m a member of this family. Because you may be the ranch manager, but it belongs to all of us.”
He straightens to his full height so we’re eye to eye. “You’re right, it does, and you’ve invested your fair share.” A muscle pulses in his jaw. “But don’t pretend you haven’t had one foot out the door since you got back. Half the time it feels like you’re already gone.”
My head spins at the accusation. “I’m still here, aren’t I? Still working just as hard as the rest of you.”
He steps back. “Physically, yeah. But that doesn’t mean you’ve decided this is where you want to be. Why would I dump it on you when the rest of us are the ones trying to figure things out long-term?”
His words hit low and hard. As much as I want to deny it, he’s not wrong. Somewhere along the way, my family stopped expecting me to stay long enough to make a difference.
I drag a hand over my jaw. It stings, but I can’t exactly blame them. And I sure as hell don’t want to keep proving them right.
“So, what can we do about it?”
He drops down onto a straw bale, and I take a seat on one opposite him. “We?”
I nod. No matter what offers Rick might bring me, I want to support my family and the ranch however I can.
Sighing, he rakes his hand through his hair. “I’ve been exploring options. Ways to make sure Wild Ember stays financially stable. The last thing I want is to have to sell off land, or, god forbid, livestock.”
I wince. Chance would never forgive him if any of his precious breeding lines had to be sold off.
A realization hits me. “That’s why you hired Sage? Hoping a photographer from New York would give us better marketing material?”
His laugh is dry. “Better than sending Taryn out to take happy snaps, anyway.”
It strikes me, maybe for the first time, how much happened here while I was away. How much weight my dad and siblings carried while I kept moving. How much they’re still carrying now.
As I study my oldest brother—the stubble on his jaw and the tension around his eyes—something barbed grips my ribs. We used to be close. And when things got hard around here? I was gone.
My phone is heavy in my back pocket, Rick’s last message still sitting unanswered.
Not long ago, any solid offer from Rick would probably have had me packing already. Now the idea causes an uncomfortable tug in my gut.
An image of Sage appears in my mind: her hazel eyes, the way she feels in my arms, how she looked as the sun rose in front of us. For the first time in years, the idea of staying doesn’t feel like being trapped.
It feels dangerous for a whole different reason.
“Holden! Sterling!” Dad calls out. “You’re going to miss the speech.”
Smirking, I stand. “Better go. Wouldn’t want to deprive River of a captive audience.”
He chuckles, grabs an armful of wood, and heads back out.
I give myself a minute, pulling my phone from my pocket and sending a quick reply to Rick.
Hold off for now. Rethinking things.
Then I collect several pieces of wood, carry them to the pile next to the fire pit, and take a seat opposite Sage.
Once we’re all seated, River raises his beer. “I know things have probably been painfully boring around here without me, so first off, congratulations to all of you for surviving.”
A round of groans and laughter follows.
“Seriously, though,” he says, grinning wider, “it’s good to be home. I picked up a few skills while I was gone, so with any luck, I can start contributing more than bad decisions and the occasional property damage.”
“Unlikely,” Chance calls out.
“And I gotta say,” River continues, ignoring the dig, “I’m starting to think you all intentionally waited until I left to start inviting beautiful women over.”
Sage laughs. Ruby beams at him like he hung the moon. Mia rolls her eyes.
Then my brother’s expression turns more serious.
“But really.” He scans the group. “It’s good to be back with all of you again.”
Something quieter settles over us as River lifts his beer a little higher. “To family. To friends. And to Mom.”
My throat tightens, even as I hold my drink up like everyone else.
Sage’s eyes are on me, her expression full of compassion. Fuck, I wish she were sitting beside me. I wish I could hold her hand and feel her soft skin against mine.
Later, as the stars appear in the sky and we get the fire going, I watch her talking with my family, laughing with Mia and Greta, dancing with Ruby in her arms, and a tight, hot feeling builds behind my ribs.
“You keep looking at her like that, and we’re going to have to build you a bigger cabin.”
Dad’s voice is too low to carry, so I don’t bother pretending not to know what he means. But he keeps his gaze fixed straight ahead, as if he doesn’t expect an answer. Which is good, because I don’t have one to give him.
The two of us stand side by side in the firelight, watching everyone have fun. But my attention keeps drifting back to Sage. And when she catches my eye and smiles, I smile back.
She won’t be here forever. But damn if it doesn’t feel like she should.