Chapter 16 #2
At the beginning of May, not long before Jared’s semester was meant to come to an end, Jared got into some kind of terrible argument with the professor in charge of overseeing his thesis.
It was difficult to get a read on the situation, but Shelby gleaned that Jared had been volatile all semester.
That the professor hadn’t liked the new direction Jared wanted to take his thesis.
That Jared had invented new theories about literature that the professor didn’t like.
That Jared had called the professor all kinds of horrible names and gotten himself thrown out of the professor’s office.
Jared explained all this stoically at the kitchen table, his hands flat on his thighs. He told her as though he were recounting events that had happened in a baseball game.
“What happens now?” Shelby whispered. She was becoming more and more accustomed to Jared’s moods, and she didn’t want to argue with him.
“There’s going to be a committee to discuss my future at Harvard,” Jared said. “I imagine my father will make a phone call, and this will all go away. Don’t worry.” He reached for her hand, and Shelby flinched. Jared noticed. Of course he did. But he smiled.
When Lily called again to ask whether she and Rebecca could come to Cambridge to see Shelby, Shelby said it wasn’t a good time. “There’s a bunch of stress with Jared’s school,” she explained, without clarifying anything. “I need to focus and make sure we get through this.”
“I don’t understand. You’re not the one in school,” Lily said.
“Our future is dependent on how Jared does in grad school,” Shelby reminded her.
Lily was quiet for a long time before she said something that felt crueler than anything Jared could ever have mustered. “I hope your baby doesn’t see you like this.”
“Like what?” Shelby demanded, clenching her hand into a fist.
But Lily had already hung up, leaving Shelby reeling.
To Jared’s surprise, Jim didn’t make the call meant to keep Jared at Harvard grad school.
This infuriated Jared, so much so that he threw a bowl across the kitchen and shattered it into a thousand pieces that Shelby, of course, had to sweep up.
“He owes me this,” Jared howled. “Doesn’t he know what this will do to his own reputation?
Doesn’t he understand? I nearly died, Shelby. I nearly died.”
The broom shook in Shelby’s hand. She closed her eyes and listened as the wind crashed through the trees outside. It felt as though the entire world was rushing up to meet Jared’s moods.
Now that Jared was kicked out of Harvard grad school, Jared’s friends kept a wide berth.
It was as though they didn’t want to catch whatever bad luck he had.
First the accident and now this. This meant that Jared spent most of his time at home, playing video games, making messes, and watching television.
Shelby had been added to the bank account and knew exactly how much money was in there.
She knew that her in-laws had stopped adding money.
More than that, she knew that they wouldn’t be able to keep paying rent if things went on this way. By autumn, they’d be penniless.
Steeling herself, Shelby approached Jared one night in late June. It was six weeks since he’d lost Harvard, and he hadn’t shaved, and there was a paunch where his abs had once been. Last summer’s romance on Nantucket Island felt like an impossibility.
“I’m going to get a job,” Shelby told him.
“I’ve already applied to a few in Boston.
I was thinking we could go to the city and start fresh.
” She prepared to tell him her next bit of news—that she was going to go to Nantucket to visit her family.
She needed to apologize to them for the distance she’d created.
No, she couldn’t tell them everything that had transpired with Jared, and she wasn’t prepared to tell them that he’d been kicked out of school.
But baby steps were essential as they repaired their relationships, Shelby knew.
Jared raised his chin and looked at her, his face greasy from not showering and eating too much. “You are not getting a job,” he said. “We’ll work something out.”
“What is there to work out?” Shelby asked, trying to laugh.
“We need money. I can make money. It’s not a big deal.
” She prayed that Jared would shrug and say something like, "Whatever, fine.
" She imagined herself leaving in the morning with a packed lunch. She imagined herself making friends at work, friends with whom she could gossip. When she had the baby, she’d take six or so weeks off, then put the baby in daycare and continue her career.
She needed to feel like herself again. Could Jared understand that?
Jared reached for the remote and turned off the television. The silence echoed with the last of whatever that sports announcer had been saying.
“I told you,” Jared said darkly, in a way that suggested he was about to flip. “I’m going to work something out. Do not, under any circumstances, apply for a job.” With that, he turned the television back on, and the announcer’s voice boomed louder than ever.
What happened after that, Shelby didn’t find out till later.
One day, Jared woke up, went for a run, showered, shaved, and got dressed as though he had things to do and places to be.
He got into the car without telling her a thing and didn’t return till nearly midnight.
Shelby was six months pregnant and very uncomfortable and feeling very doom and gloom, but she knew better than to make a fuss about where he was. She’d been through that.
When Jared returned, he looked bright-eyed and enthusiastic. He removed his shoes and sat on the sofa, giving off an aura of power that made Shelby hate him again. It was clear that he was about to tell her exactly what was going to happen next.
“Here’s the plan,” he said. “I have a job, a very good job. I’ll be overseeing the western branch of my father’s company.”
Shelby felt a spike of adrenaline. “Oh, Jared. That’s incredible.” After all, he didn’t need a grad business degree from Harvard to take over for his father. Things in Jared’s world were all pretend. It was all about who you knew and what they could give you.
“We’re going to move to Montana,” Jared said. “I’m thinking something rural, something that gets us away from people so we can focus on our family. What do you think?”
He gave her an open-eyed look, one that might have blown her over with romance a year before. Now, Shelby was too afraid to do anything but say, “That’s amazing, baby. I can’t wait.”
She walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his thick shoulders.
She was amazed that he hadn’t lost more muscle, given how immobile he’d been since he’d been kicked out of grad school.
She asked herself if she was still attracted to him, then told herself that she probably would be when they moved to Montana and he took over all operations at his father’s business. He’d be a powerful man again.
“I told you I would take care of it,” Jared said, leaning his cheek against her pregnant belly. “You doubted me. I know you doubted me. But I’m always going to protect you, Shelby. You don’t have to worry about a thing.”