Chapter 23
Shelby was right to worry about Jared trying to get his children back.
In the weeks that followed her decision to run to Nantucket Island and away from him, she waited with bated breath, searching the yard and the beach and the boardwalk, peeking around every corner to make sure he wasn’t there.
Especially at Chad’s wedding, she was on high alert, thinking it would be a perfect time for Jared to take the kids away.
But Jared seemed not to be the sort of guy who chased, at least not in a physical sense.
Rather, he had his lawyer send heinous-looking papers to Rebecca and Ben’s place, which Shelby opened only with her own lawyer present.
It was just as bad as Shelby had thought it would be.
Jared and his legal team were accusing Shelby of parental kidnapping.
It was the beginning of September. In a well-lit office, listening to the autumnal rain drumming outside, Shelby and her lawyer went over her options before deciding that it was best to file a restraining order against Jared. They had their reasons. They had witnesses.
“Usually, men like this don’t put up a big fight,” her lawyer explained. “His ego is bruised, yes, but…”
“Jared isn’t a typical man,” Shelby said, knowing in her heart that this was true.
She considered the events of many years ago, when she and Jared had broken up, only for Jared to get into an accident and go into a coma. It wasn’t that he’d planned the accident. It wasn’t that he’d planned the coma. But it had allowed him a level of manipulation that had destroyed Shelby’s life.
She was working through that in therapy. Asking herself why she abandoned everything and everyone she knew for a guy she barely knew wasn’t such an easy thing.
The war between Shelby and Jared continued to rage from September and into late autumn.
Throughout that time, Shelby settled deeper into her Nantucket life—and grew increasingly pregnant.
Rather than wait to learn her baby's gender, as Jared preferred, she asked the doctor and learned she was having a little girl again. “Three little girls and one boy,” she said to her mother in the car as they drove back from the doctor’s office. “I think that’s enough, don’t you?”
“You know I’ll help you if and when you decide to have more,” Rebecca offered. “If you meet someone else, if you want to build a life with someone else, you might want to allow yourself space for new children, new eras. Nothing will hold you back.”
But Shelby felt exhausted by the prospect of new love. “Let’s just get through this pregnancy and this legal battle and see what it all looks like,” she said, laughing.
By the beginning of December, two weeks before Shelby’s due date, Shelby’s lawyer and Jared’s lawyer were at a standstill.
“Jared still isn’t willing to give up, but he recognizes that you have enough fodder to fight him for a long time,” her lawyer explained, a smile playing across her lips.
“But as he’s far away in Montana, I imagine he’s losing interest in all this. ”
“Losing interest?” Shelby was shocked. She’d never imagined that Jared would ever stop fighting her, especially when it came to the kids. No, he didn’t know them well, and no, he’d had no hand in raising them. But that didn’t mean he believed that himself.
“This happens sometimes if the men meet someone else,” the lawyer said delicately, turning over a folder on her desk.
Shelby let out a laugh. “He’s getting married again?”
The lawyer grimaced. Shelby remembered that the lawyer had sent someone out to Montana to poke around and see what Jared’s life without Shelby was like.
Probably, that “spy,” or whatever term applied here, had discovered a new girlfriend, a new life.
Jared didn’t want to fight Shelby any longer, because he was afraid of what Shelby knew about him.
It was much better for Jared to begin again with someone else—someone younger, maybe. Someone more malleable.
“I want to tell her not to do it,” Shelby stammered. “I want to warn her.”
But the lawyer told her Shelby couldn’t do a thing, not without jeopardizing the terms of their agreement. “This needs to be taken as a win,” she told Shelby sternly. “Jared is willing to leave you and the kids alone forever.”
“But he’s going to ruin someone else’s life,” Shelby said.
“Think about your children,” the lawyer told her. “They’re still young. There’s a chance that they won’t really remember anything about Jared. That’s a win.”
Shelby knew her lawyer was right, although her throat was tight and she struggled to breathe.
A few nights before Shelby’s due date, she couldn’t fight it anymore and decided to call Vivian. Vivian sounded just as surprised as Shelby felt.
“It’s so good to hear from you,” Vivian said. “I think about you and the kids every single day. How is it out there on that island? Your mother sends me pictures sometimes. I hope that’s okay.”
Shelby smiled, unsurprised at how frantic Vivian still sounded. She hoped that Vivian’s loneliness in those mountainous woods still served her.
“I wanted to thank you for everything you did for me,” Shelby said quietly. “I know it wasn’t easy to see me like that. I know it wasn’t easy to send that email.”
Vivian was quiet for a moment. “It was selfish,” she said. “When I looked at you, I saw myself. I wished someone would have done the same for me, before…” She trailed off, clearly so deep in the past that she didn’t know what else to say.
“I wish I could have been more myself when I met you,” Shelby said. “I hope you know you’re welcome in Nantucket any time. My mother would love to host you and show you everything our island is about. And you’d love my grandmother.”
Vivian laughed. “I might have to take you Suttons up on that.”
Shelby smiled and closed her eyes, trying to will herself to say one final thing.
“Listen, my lawyer mentioned that Jared might have already moved on,” Shelby said.
Vivian took a sharp breath. “I’ve seen her,” she admitted. “She’s young, Shelby. Really young. Maybe twenty? Twenty-one?”
“I was twenty-one when I met Jared,” Shelby said.
Vivian groaned. “History always repeats itself with these guys. But there are rumors in town. Apparently, she isn’t very happy with him.
She has dreams and visions of her own. She told a server at the pizza place that she’s trying to move to Los Angeles.
I keep asking myself, how can I get that woman to LA? ” Vivian laughed.
“I wish I could call her,” Shelby said, “but legally, my hands are tied.”
“Let me see what I can do,” Vivian said.
“You’re like a guardian angel in those woods,” Shelby said.
“That’s all I’ve ever wanted for myself,” Vivian said. “It’s fulfilling.”
When Shelby went into labor a few days before Christmas, Lily was the one to drive her.
They left their kids with Grandma Esme and Rebecca and sped to the hospital, where Bethany was just coming out of surgery.
She scrubbed up and came to the labor and delivery ward to say hello.
By then, Shelby was dilated and ready to push.
“Things go fast by your fourth baby, I guess,” Lily said, smiling and brushing sweaty hair out of Shelby’s face.
As Shelby held her sister’s hand, she remembered all the other times she’d given birth in her life.
She remembered how lonely she’d felt, waiting for Jared to arrive.
She remembered how lonely she’d felt, holding each of her babies and wondering what kind of world she’d brought them into.
Now, with Lily here, and with her mother watching her three other children, Shelby felt at peace with the world.
She couldn’t wait to show her baby girl everything there was to know.
It didn’t take long for Shelby to name her baby. “Vivian,” she said, holding her tenderly, her heart gushing with love.
“It’s a perfect name,” Lily said. “And you know, Vivian in Montana won’t believe it.” Lily took a photograph and sent it to Vivian with the news.
It took ages for Vivian to write back, but only, as she explained, because she hadn’t been able to stop crying.
VIVIAN: You Sutton girls are TOO MUCH! Welcome to the world, baby Vivian. I can’t wait to meet you.
“Now, she really has to come to Nantucket,” Lily said.
“I hate to think of her alone in those mountains,” Shelby said. “Nobody should have to be alone, not in those mountains, not anywhere.”
Shelby and baby Vivian had no complications after the birth, so they went home the next day.
There, they were welcomed only by Rebecca, Ben, and Vivian’s siblings, who were so eager to meet their baby sister.
Billy was especially stoic, ready to take on his new charge.
Shelby helped him adjust his hands so that Vivian’s head was supported.
“I’ll take care of you,” Billy whispered to Vivian.
Later, after the kids were in bed, Shelby brought the baby carrier to the kitchen with her to sit with her mother. Rebecca looked tired, her eyes red from crying happy tears.
“You must be exhausted,” she told Shelby.
But Shelby shook her head. “All the adrenaline is still pumping through me,” she said.
“Giving birth is a crazy thing,” Rebecca said. “Understatement of the century. But it’s such a wild ride, isn’t it? I still remember when I gave birth to the three of you. My three biggest blessings. Your father would be so proud.”
For a little while, they sat up together, occasionally talking but mostly remaining quiet and contemplative.
Of course, the baby Vivian slept on and on.
Very soon, Vivian would wake up for another feeding.
A part of Shelby couldn’t wait, as it was so tender to see her wake up and look into her little eyes.
Another part of her wanted to let her sleep.
“I’m sorry we’ve lived with you so long, now,” Shelby said to her mother, addressing a fear she’d had since they’d come back from Montana.
Rebecca looked surprised. “You can stay as long as you want, honey.”
“But I don’t want to be a burden,” Shelby said. “I don’t have a college degree, and I don’t know what’s next for me, or for us. But I’m going to get a job and get my own place. I have to.”
Rebecca nodded. “If it’s something you have to do, you’ll do it. You always do what you put your mind to.”
Shelby knew her mother was right. Although the path from here to the end of that road seemed arduous, she had to keep up the fight.