Chapter 5 Caroline
CAROLINE
The lights of LA flash past as we speed down the highway. Even at three in the morning there’s traffic on the roads. Someone’s always awake in this city, always doing something.
I glimpse palm trees and a vast blackness that must be the ocean.
As we leave the city behind, I think about the last eighteen months. How did I get it so wrong? How did I get Paul so wrong? He was nice to me, or so I thought, and his business contacts helped me get up and running.
If he was a little mean sometimes, I put it down to his hard upbringing.
I think about all the ways I failed here. A failed business, a failed marriage, and now my ex-ex-husband is driving me back to my hometown with nothing but a bag of clothes and a laptop to my name.
Yup, I’m officially the world’s biggest failure.
As I leave the city behind, my eyes sting, and I swallow the tears back.
I will not cry.
“Did I ever tell you how proud I am of you?”
Tony’s gruff voice cuts through my thoughts, and his words take me by surprise.
“What’s there to be proud of?”
Every decision I’ve made has been one monumental fuck up. Although Tony doesn’t know the extent of Paul’s deception.
He frowns at me like I’ve got two heads.
“Are you kidding me? Coming out here and starting a business. Not many people have the balls to do that, Caroline.”
I blink quickly and look out the window because if he says anymore kind words, I won’t be able to hold back the tears.
Tony doesn’t know that I’ll be winding down the business and declaring bankruptcy. I can’t tell him how bad it’s gotten.
I can’t speak at all because if I do, I’ll cry. But that’s the thing with Tony. We’ve known each other so long we don’t need to speak.
“Come here.” Tony pats the seat next to him. He opens his arm, and I slide along the bench seat until I’m resting my head on his chest.
I shouldn’t do this. It’s not right to get close to an ex. But it feels so good, so comforting. Tony’s sturdy heartbeat through his cotton t-shirt is as familiar and steady as the waves crashing on the shore.
I let out a big sigh, and some of the tension slides out of my body.
We drive in silence, my head resting on Tony, and somewhere up the pacific highway, I fall fast asleep.