Chapter 19
19
Esther
E sther pulled her bag from the car, still processing everything Ashley had shared on the ride over. She pressed a hand to her inner elbow, feeling a small sting, but the cut had mostly healed already. Which couldn’t be natural, but neither was the situation she was in.
She had a lot to process in general, and they hadn’t even set foot inside.
“Do you want to be Romanian or another foreign Ph.D. candidate in microbiology like myself?” Ashley paused next to her open car door. “Or was it environmental science? Crap, I forgot what my Ph.D. program was.”
“What? Why would I be Romanian?” Standing in front of Ashley’s parents’ house with a suitcase ready to pretend to be their daughter’s girlfriend was already a huge ask on Esther’s acting skills. She’d never dated a woman before and certainly didn’t go home to visit the parents.
“Well, I’ve been in Romania this whole time—as you remember—so that’s where I would have met you. Long- distance seems too difficult.” Ashley laughed. “It’s just occurring to me now. We spent so much time working on making sure I looked human, we forgot to figure out our backstory.”
Esther froze, her hand on the door to the car. They didn’t have a backstory. How could they have missed something so obvious?
A door opened, and a slab of light cut across the front yard. “Ashybear, is that you? Come inside, I made hot toddies.”
Ashley pointed up as though she had an idea. “There’s my invitation into the house.”
Momentarily distracted from panicking over a Ph.D. program she knew nothing about, Esther looked up. “Wait, is that a real vampire thing? I thought August was just being a dick when he said something about needing permission to enter a house.”
Ashley gave her a wink before tugging her suitcase from the car. It thudded to the driveway. “All right, darling. Let’s do this.”
She grabbed Esther’s hand with her free one. Esther snatched her bag and let Ashley lead her up the porch.
“Also, my mom will tell you that you don’t have to eat all the food she offers. This is a lie. I’ll try to give you an out when I can, but she will take it personally if you don’t take her food.”
Before Esther could respond, there was insistent barking on the other side of the red, wreath-decked door. A few seconds later, it opened, and a woman in a pullover and jeans appeared in the doorway. Her hair, blond with streaks of white, was up in a bun and laugh lines framed her eyes. It was like catching a glimpse of future Ashley. Or what could have been future Ashley.
“Ashybear!” She grabbed Ashley in a hug, nearly lifting her from the ground. “Come inside. Come inside. I saved you some strudel from the Christkindlmarkt. Don’t let Schatzi out. We’ll never find him at this time of night.”
“Did someone say strudel?” called a male voice from farther in the house.
The woman rolled her eyes. “Your father finished off the Apfelstrudel, but I managed to hide the strawberry cheesecake one for you.”
Ashley pushed her way in the door. Esther followed close behind, using her suitcase as a barricade to block the small dachshund trying to wiggle his way past them and out into the night. The spacious living room was plushily carpeted in off-white. A brown leather sectional filled the room, with a colorful crocheted blanket thrown over the back. A man reclined at one end under a purple-and-gold quilt checkered with football helmets. His attention never strayed from the TV, but he lifted a hand in a distracted wave.
“And who is this?” Ashley’s mom spotted Esther. “I thought you were seeing that nice boy.”
“Mom.” Ashley put an arm around Esther’s shoulder. Esther noted Ashley’s cringe at the nice boy comment. “This is Esther. My girlfriend. Who I have been dating for…a while now.”
They needed a backstory fast.
“It’s lovely to meet you, Mrs. Schafer.” Esther offered her hand.
“So good to meet you, Esther. Call me Suzie.” Mrs. Schafer ignored Esther’s hand, diving in for a firm hug instead.
“Mom, where are we staying? I want to ditch our bags.”
“In your room, obviously, dear.” Mrs. Schafer—Suzie—gave Esther a wink, and it was so much like Ashley, Esther had to take a moment to decide if this wasn’t some trick. They were both vampire clones at different ages perhaps. “Come on. Let’s stop loitering in the entryway. Do you need help with your bag?” She turned to the man on the couch. “Dale. Ashley is here.”
“That’s nice, dear. They’re in overtime,” the male voice called back. Schatzi scampered off to curl up on Mr. Schafer’s lap.
“No. I mean where is Esther staying?” Ashley wrapped an arm around Esther’s waist. Esther looked down at the floor, doing her best to will her cheeks from heating.
Suzie took Esther’s suitcase and rolled it through the living room, past Mr. Schafer who grunted his disapproval, and down a hallway.
“She’s staying in your room with you. I’m not that old-fashioned.” She gave Esther another wink, and Esther smiled timidly back.
“What!” Ashley stopped halfway down the hall.
Her mother ignored her and continued to the room at the end and to the left.
“After all the lectures you gave me in high school about keeping my door open?” Ashley said. “Now, it’s just anything goes?”
The disbelief and slight whine to Ashley’s tone were not adult, and Esther had to pinch her lips between her teeth to keep from chuckling at their regressive banter.
“You’re not in high school anymore,” Suzie called over her shoulder. “You’re an adult, and we trust you to be respectful.”
They all piled into a pink and flowery room. Suzie rolled Esther’s suitcase to the foot of the white metal-framed bed piled high with fluffy duvets and fuzzy throw pillows. Esther couldn’t help noticing that she wore the only black in the entire room. The white wooden dresser and nightstands were draped in tissue-thin, pink cloth and covered in cutesy knickknacks from ceramic unicorns to a pink glitter lava lamp. On the walls were shelves of trophies and posters of late 90s’ and early 2000s’ pop artists.
“I’ll leave you two to get settled.” Suzie closed the door with a flourish to emphasize it was indeed closed all the way. On the back of the door was a small poster of Alanis Morissette, hair in her face and a microphone in hand. At least Esther wasn’t the only one in black anymore.
“She’s so frustrating already” Ashley flopped onto the bed, her body sinking into the many puffy layers.
Esther explored the top of a nearby dresser, ignoring the way Ashley’s sweater tunic rode up, showing more of the thighs her black pleather leggings were doing nothing to hide. The room felt a little warmer.
Ashley slapped the covers on either side of her and sat up. “You know, she’s only okay with this because you’re not going to get her precious, little girl pregnant. This is still some patriarchal, heteronormative bullshit.” Ashley cussing in this pink and white cacophony of millennial glory days broke away some of the nervous jitters building in Esther’s gut.
“Did you just cuss?” Esther asked. “In your parents’ home? What would Mister Unicorn think?” She lifted a ceramic unicorn from the dresser near her.
“You are quite mistaken. That happens to be Zenon, Unicorn of the 21st Century, and she has heard and seen much worse.”
“Ah, to be a unicorn on this nightstand.” Esther set Zenon back where she’d found her. “I can take the floor if you’re uncomfortable sharing a bed.”
“That’s not the point.” Ashley jumped up, using the fluffiness as a spring, and began unpacking. “And no, you’re not sleeping on the floor. You’re the guest here. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. That wasn’t part of the deal when I proposed this plan.”
“You know.” Esther leaned against the dresser—watching for unicorns—and getting a good look at the bed-shaped cloud. “It’s a pretty big bed.”
Ashley met her gaze. Days ago, Ashley had pointed out she was mostly unkillable, and that reminder had Esther feeling a little braver. Like maybe she could suggest something reckless.
So Esther added matter-of-factly, “And I’m not uncomfortable.”
Esther had messed up that night on the beach when she’d scared away Ashley’s advances. She hadn’t been dishonest. Esther had only dated men and, until that moment, hadn’t seriously considered the idea of dating a woman. Because what was the point? She liked men. No sense in considering her sexuality any further. She didn’t need to come out to her friends and family or enter the politics of another dating pool or take up space in a queer community. Uther would tell her there’s no max capacity in the queer boat, but that didn’t stop her from being unsure. She was still a cis woman who was attracted to men.
And Ashley.
But that night under the stars was an awakening. Like a curtain she never noticed pulled aside, and now that was all she saw.
Two quick raps on the door were followed by Suzie popping her head into the room. Esther and Ashley jumped apart. Great. Now Esther looked like she couldn’t be left alone for two minutes with Suzie’s daughter. What a terrible first impression. She hadn’t even noticed how close they’d gotten in the last few seconds.
“Hot toddies are ready, ladies,” Suzie said. “Did you two want some? There’s also strudel.”
“We’re coming,” Ashley said. “Geez.”
“Well, don’t take too long getting ready. Your father isn’t much of a night person, and I bet he wants to see you.”
She closed the door, and Ashley called after her, “And we will have a talk later about the proper way to knock!”
Esther covered her mouth to hide her giggling.
“Oh, this is funny, huh?” Ashley turned on her, lips tight and brow furrowed, but Esther saw how the corner wavered, edging toward a smile.
Esther schooled her face as well. “Of course not. All serious here.”
They made it a whole three seconds before they both burst out laughing.
Esther padded down the hall, her fingertips loosely hooked to Ashley’s as she led them to the kitchen. Mr. Schafer and Suzie were seated at the table, talking, mugs in hand. Susie jumped up as soon as they entered.
“I have your drinks ready.” She ladled two steaming mugs from a pot on the stove and handed them to Ashley and Esther. Esther’s mug had a cartoon cat saying, “To a PAWsome teacher.”
“You two have perfect timing. I was just about to discuss Christmas plans with Dale.” Suzie returned to her seat at the table. “The girls aren’t going to make it to the big Christmas gathering, so we’re planning something for tomorrow night—just the four of us.”
“But don’t worry.” Ashley joined them at the table, taking the seat next to her dad. “We have the whole thing planned. It’ll be so much fun.”
“I’m sure it will be, kiddo.” He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head. “It’s nice to have you back.”
Ashley smiled sweetly, and Esther wished she had a camera for this family moment. And then she remembered she was also in the room and standing awkwardly next to the table gawking at them. She grabbed the seat next to Ashley. Her chair scraped loudly against the linoleum floor, breaking the moment. Esther hunched her shoulders and tried to disappear, but Ashley took her hand. It was so sudden and natural Esther briefly forgot it was for show.
Ashley gave her a quick smile before turning back to her dad. “How’d the game go?”
He took a long drink from his mug. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Suzie jumped up and rummaged through cupboards. She wasn’t drunk, but Esther got the impression this wasn’t her first glass.
“How about we bake cookies?” Suzie asked. “I have all the stuff for snickerdoodle. Or we could do chocolate chip.”
“I think I’m going to hit the hay,” said Mr. Schafer, rising from his chair.
“Mom, don’t worry.” Ashley took the jar of flour from her mother’s hands. “Esther and I can make the cookies. You and Dad get some sleep. We’ll see you tomorrow evening. You got my email about jet lag and time zones and everything, right?”
“She got it.” Mr. Schafer wrapped a quick arm around Ashley’s shoulders and kissed her forehead. “We know the plan. Night, you two. Come on, Suze.”
Suzie wrapped Ashley in a tight hug. “Oh, I missed you, pumpkin.” She kissed Ashley on the forehead as well. “It’s good to have you home again. And you’ll have to tell me what skincare routine you’re using because it is working wonders on you.”
“Thanks, Mom.” Ashley let her go and gently pushed her toward the door where Mr. Schafer was leaving. “Night.”
“Nice to meet you, Esther,” Suzie called as she was hustled out of the room.
“You too, Mrs. Schafer—I mean, Suzie.” Esther continued to cringe in general awkwardness until Ashley returned and confirmed her parents were in bed. It was just the two of them and a couple dozen cookies to bake.
Ashley pulled out ingredients, obviously familiar with the recipe.
Esther sat back and did what she did best—awkwardly supervised until someone gave her something specific to do. “Your parents seemed happy to see you. Were you staying here for the last five years? When you had to leave Plattsburgh.”
Ashley dumped ingredients into a bowl faster than Esther could follow and plugged in the mixer. “No.”
The whirring of the machine halted any further conversation.
“I snuck in once but couldn’t stay. I didn’t want to risk messing up again, but I needed to see them. Here.” Ashley stuck a bowl of dry ingredients into Esther’s hand. “Add this in slowly while I mix.”
Esther let Ashley talk at her own pace. It wasn’t Esther’s place to push her. They worked together silently until the stuff in the bowl started looking like cookie dough.
“Okay, now we just need to—” Ashley looked at Esther and a smile broke across her face.
“What?” Esther touched her face. Her fingers came back chalky with flour. “Well, you’re one to talk.”
“What do you mean?” Ashley touched her clean cheeks. “I wasn’t the one with my nose in the mixing bowl.”
“Oh yeah? It looks like you have a spot right here.” Esther smoothed a streak of white flour across Ashley’s cheek.
“Hey! These cookies are for my parents. This is serious.” Ashley couldn’t finish the sentence without a smile breaking across her face.
They worked playfully, Ashley telling Esther what to do and the both of them working in tandem, and Esther couldn’t help but think maybe this could work. No one was here to see them like this. Maybe, it wasn’t just for show.
Esther scooped the last cookie onto the cooling rack. “Done.”
“Success! Go, team!” Ashley raised invisible pom-poms over her head.
Esther smiled, but that faded when she realized morning was fast approaching. It was time for bed. One bed.
They took turns changing, and Ashley light-proofed the bedroom and bathroom.
Ashley hopped into bed first, nuzzling in deep so the only parts of her showing were tendrils of gold reaching across her pillow.
This wasn’t going to be weird. Esther had been to sleepovers before. This wasn’t the first time she’d shared a bed with another woman. True, it was the first time she shared one with a woman that made her stomach flex and her fingertips tingle when they held a gaze for too long, but Esther was a mature adult. And sometimes mature adults shared beds with people and didn’t fantasize about making out with them.
She sighed and climbed into the squeaky, fluffy cloud intending to stay on her side the whole night. She’d hug the edge if she needed to.
Esther sat on her side, sparing one second to see Ashley already snuggled up on her side of the bed. She turned off the bedside lamp and, with a deep assuring breath that all would be fine, laid down. Before she could get a grasp, the bed sank, and Esther tumbled to the middle. Free-falling until she rolled smack into Ashley’s back. Ashley made one long luxurious stretch with a groan that sounded so good Esther nearly joined her. While bringing her arm back down to her side, Ashley’s fingers tangled with Esther’s, pulling her around to Ashley’s chest.
“Night, Esther.”
Esther’s head filled static, unable to compute her present situation.
“Night.” Esther suspected she would not be getting any sleep tonight.