Chapter Seventeen Boys Don’t Cry #3
“Yes, we’d like to keep you overnight for observation, at the very least. If I had my way, we would keep you for a few days, but they tell me we need the beds.
Welcome to Thatcher’s Britain.” She smiled sardonically and pushed up her glasses.
Rahul decided he liked her a great deal, even if she did suspect him of abusing Julian.
“Do I have to?” Julian whined, fidgeting with the hem of his thin hospital blanket. He was starting to sound more like his old self by the minute. “I’m feeling all right, doc. Honestly. I just want to go home and sleep in my own bed.”
There was something patently pitiful about him that made even Doctor Dayal sigh in defeat.
“Look, I can’t keep you here. You’re not a prisoner.
If you leave, I can’t stop you. But I strongly recommend you stay here, for another few hours at least, to monitor you and make sure you don’t suffer any sudden onset seizures or develop an infection. Can you do that at least?”
Julian smiled that charming smile no one, of any gender, could resist. “Yeah, all right, doc. I think I can manage that.”
“Good lad.” She smiled back, giving his leg a maternal pat. “I’ll be back then to give you a final once over before you leave.” She nodded once at Rahul before she made her exit. Rahul followed her to the door and closed it behind her.
When he sat back in his chair by Julian’s bedside, he frowned down at his blood-stained trousers, unsure of how to broach the subject. At last he said, “Why did you make up that daft story about the satsuma?”
“How d’you know I didn’t slip on a satsuma?” Julian grinned, but the grin wilted under Rahul’s withering glare.
“It’s all got something to do with Michael, hasn’t it?” Saying it out loud made his heart start pounding. “That’s where you were headed before you… You were headed over to his, to break things off with him. Did he do something? Did he hurt you?”
Julian looked down at the blanket he was worrying between his pale fingers. His dark eyelashes were stark against his colourless cheeks. His voice was barely above a whisper when he spoke. “It was an accident.”
“What?”
“I said, it was an accident,” he repeated, but that hadn’t been what Rahul was asking. “I went over and he was drunk. He’d already found out somehow about you and me and he was all over the shop.”
“What did he do to you?” Rahul was only aware that he was gripping the edge of the bed too hard when his knuckles began to ache.
“We got into a tussle, all right?” Julian said, too defensively.
“It was -- whatever. It doesn’t matter. It’s just that…
I, ah, I hit him. Really hard.” He bit down on his lip as his eyes began to fill with tears.
He looked up at Rahul then and his voice trembled around the edges like a banner caught in the wind.
“I hit him really, really hard, Rahul. I think I… I might’ve…
” His voice broke and he covered his mouth with a shaky hand.
“Hey,” Rahul soothed. “Hey, small fry. It’s okay.” He wanted to hug him but he held himself back, resorting to stroking his upper arm instead. “It’s okay,” he repeated, not at all knowing if it was, in fact, okay.
“You have to promise me,” Julian burst out suddenly, eyes boring intensely into Rahul even as they brimmed over with tears.
He clutched almost painfully at Rahul’s hand.
“You have to promise me you won’t go over there.
Even if he isn’t d -- if I didn’t k -- even if he’s not you know, he’s really dangerous.
He could hurt you. He could… Promise me you won’t go looking for him. Promise.”
“All right, all right!” Rahul wanted to snatch his hand back, out of that death-grip, but he didn’t want to deprive Julian of a lifeline. He could suffer a little. For Jules. “I won’t. Swear on my mother’s grave.”
“Your mother’s still alive.”
“Her future grave. Obviously.” He used his other hand to smooth down the unshaven side of Julian’s hair, which was wild as weeds in an abandoned allotment. “I don’t even know where he lives, do I?”
“Right.” Julian breathed out, tension evaporating. “Of course.” He leaned back in the narrow bed, eyelids drooping. “Of course you don’t.”
Rahul kept stroking his hair as what little energy Julian had managed to find slowly left him and sleep crept up on him.
“Thanks, babe,” Julian muttered, eyes already closed. Rahul huffed a laugh under his breath. Jules must really be knackered to call him ‘babe.’ “For not letting me die or nothing…”
“I was feeling merciful,” Rahul said softly. “Maybe next time you won’t be so lucky, eh?”
“Next time you’ll let me bleed out… and chuck my body in the Thames…” His lips barely moved, his words more breath than voice.
“And the eels’ll get you, big chunks of Julian down their slimy gobs.”
“Julian bits all tumbling round inside of eel bellies…”
Then his head lolled and Rahul knew he’d lost his battle with sleep. Rahul’s hand was still in his.
While his best friend and boyfriend slept, Rahul thought about the promise he’d just made. He thought about it while his eyes went back to the bruises on Julian’s throat.