Chapter 36
KYRA
Callum’s hand slaps over my mouth, cutting off my words. His cedar and apple scent washes over me as I come back to myself. The last several hours were like an out-of-body experience.
Who the fuck was that woman?
”I want you, Sunflower. In a way that I have never once experienced in my life. I will not sit here and continue to defend my feelings to you. I have loved you from the moment that I laid eyes on you.”
“How? You know nothing about me.” I am so confused. This man has claimed to love me since he saw me. Love at first sight is just a fairytale thing.
“Don’t act as if you’ve never seen it happen before. Shit, my brother has been fucking obsessed with Nyx from the minute she ran right into him. The more I have learned about you, the further I fall.”
Plopping down on the bed and placing my head in my hands, I am utterly lost and confused. Why am I so scared? Feeling Cal’s presence coming to stand in front of me. After a moment of me not looking up at him, he kneels in front of me.
“Sunflower.” His voice is soft and worried. “Will you look at me?”
“No.” The word coming out on a sob. I thought I was all out of tears for this man.
“I’m going to go relieve Nyx. I think you need her more than she needs to torture Mike.”
His footsteps are quiet as he leaves me alone in my room. My whole body feels numb. Lying back on the bed, I stare up at the ceiling. Counting the imperfections in the eggshell paint.
Wow, you are really doing this.
That stupid fucking voice always chooses the exact moments I don’t need her to chime in. “Will you shut the fuck up?”
“Sunshine?” Nyx’s voice echoes back to the bedroom, and I shoot up.
“In the bedroom.” I wipe the tears that have escaped my eyes, trying to compose myself a bit before Nyx joins me.
“Hey, Love.” She sits on the bed next to me and pulls me into her embrace. “Wanna talk about it?”
“What is there to talk about? I’m broken. I can’t let an amazing man love me, and every single fucking time I push him away, I can see his resolve breaking. He is going to give up on me.” My voice cracks on the last word, and the tears start to stream down my cheeks in salty rivers.
“Oh my sweet Kyra. Cal isn’t going anywhere.
I can see the way he looks at you; it’s the same way his brother and Dee look at me.
If he was going somewhere, he wouldn’t come get me when he knows you need support.
That boy is head over heels, and every time you push him away, it wrecks him.
” Nyx’s words hit like a shot right to my heart.
Shaking with sobs, I bury my face into her shoulder. Nyx rubs slow, calming circles on my back, and I settle in.
“What should we do for my bachelorette party? Let’s distract ourselves, eh?” She laughs.
“I have no fucking idea, Nyx. My life is falling apart over here. I’m not thinking about a party.” The tears have slowed to a light trickle, and I try to chuckle at the situation.
“The guys want to just do a giant joint party at Grant’s. Lots of dancing and drinking. What do you think?”
“Works for me.”
Nyx pulls me back onto the bed, and we curl up together, and the darkness of sleep pulls me under.
“Good morning, Little Witch.” Graham’s voice drags me out of sleep. I know he’s talking to Nyx, but his voice is similar enough to Cal’s that it causes my heart to clench.
Rolling over, I pull the blanket up over my head, fighting to keep the tears at bay. Who the fuck am I anymore?
You survived abuse and much worse without all these damn tears.
She’s right, she is always right. I need to get the fuck together.
Feeling Nyx roll out of bed, she is definitely not a morning person.
Based on the light barely lighting up my room, it is probably way too early for her.
I climb out of the cozy nest I have built in bed.
A shiver wracks through my body before I can pull on the oversized hoodie.
Taking a deep inhale, I can smell the crisp and spicy scent of Cal, and my chest squeezes again. Fuck. I need to call my therapist. Picking up my phone, I open the app I use to reach out to Doctor Smith.
Me: I need to schedule an emergency call.
I know it’s early, so she probably won’t respond right away. As soon as I have the thought, my phone vibrates in my hand.
Doctor Smith: Do you want to talk now?
Me: Oh, I didn’t think you would be up. Yes, that would be amazing.
“Hey girlie, I’m going to have breakfast,” Nyx calls from over my shoulder.
“I have a call with Doc. Go! Enjoy!” I call back.
“Hey, Kyra,” Graham calls over to me. “Just so you know, you will never see Mike again. We have him being taken up to Ironwood. He is not to step foot on this side of the Mackinac Bridge while we still breathe.” His words bring a smile to my lips and give me a sense of comfort.
Nyx comes up behind me and gives me a quick hug from behind before I hear her leave the room. The moment my front door latches, the phone vibrates.
“Good morning.” Holding the phone up so she can see my disheveled appearance. Doctor Smith’s face shows every single ounce of shock I’m sure anyone would give at my appearance for just a split second.
“Good morning, Kyra. So what’s going on?” Her voice is always so calming, and I can feel the weight that has been sitting on my shoulders lift just a bit.
“So I have told you about Cal.”
“Yes, the brother of your best friend's fiancé. You also have some feelings for him.”
“Ya.”
“What about him?”
“Well, he keeps being the sweetest man alive. We started to mess around last night, and when he noticed I wasn’t myself, he stopped everything. He left and went to get Nyx.”
“Kyra, I’m not seeing the problem here. He is being respectful. He seems to really care about you. Why won’t you give the poor guy a chance?”
Why does everyone keep asking me this? Fuck!
“Well, what if he’s not as great as he seems?” I start to pick at the calluses on my hand from the weight lifting I have been doing with the girls.
“And what if he’s actually perfect for you?” Doctor Smith asks with her brows practically in her hairline.
I take a few moments to chew on the inside of my lip before I even make eye contact with her.
What excuse are you going to come up with now?
“I am terrified of getting hurt again.” My voice gets so quiet, I am sure she didn’t even hear me.
“I may not actually know Nyx or any of your friends, but I feel like none of them would allow him to hurt you. I bet his own damn brother would deal with him if that was the case.”
She’s not wrong.