Chapter 37 | Caleb
Caleb
The next morning, I reluctantly crawled out of bed.
After dinner, Rae and I had stayed up late, talking about old memories with Luke and Jenny, and once they left, Rae and I stayed up even longer.
When we decided to go to sleep, Rae stood at the doorway of the guest room, not wanting to assume she could just join me in my room.
If she thought for one second that I wouldn’t want her sleeping next to me, she couldn’t be more wrong.
Having her close to me made this house feel like home.
“Where are you going?” she asked sleepily, with a touch of sadness in her voice.
“I'm so sorry I woke you, baby.” I had planned on leaving Duke with her and writing her a note to let her know where I was.
“Baby?” She blushed, a smile crossing her face.
I crawled back to her and rubbed her cheek with my hand. “Yeah, you okay if I call you that?”
“Mhm,” she hummed while I gave her a gentle kiss.
“I have to get an early start today. I’m going to feed the animals and then maybe clean the barn before it gets too hot.”
“Can I help? I told you I don't want to mooch off of you.”
I chuckled. “I mean, you can, but if you don't want to, that's fine as well. It's going to be a long morning. Plus, it’s not ‘mooching off me’ if you’re going to be my girlfriend,” I said with a wink.
“Your girlfriend?” The look on her face was a mix of happiness and shock. She looked so cute.
“Yeah, my girlfriend. I don’t go around kissing just anyone. That’s saved for one special person.” I kissed her again and felt her smiling.
“I love the sound of that. Let me get dressed. Did you make coffee?” She sounded excited as she threw back the covers.
“Thankfully I remembered to prep the coffee pot last night. I'll bring you some. Be right back.”
I walked out into the kitchen while she went through her clothes, trying to find something that would work for working in the barn.
We had done laundry before Jenny and Luke came over for dinner so our clothes were mixed in the basket, in my room.
If I had my way, she would move everything into my room and it would be our room.
I let Duke outside before walking back into the room just as she was pulling her pajama shorts down, trying to get dressed.
“Oh I'm sorry.” I turned around to give her privacy. “I don't know why I didn't think you'd still be getting dressed.”
Her voice was laced with confusion. “Why are you sorry?”
Without turning around I answered her, “Because I want to be respectful and I walked in on you changing.”
Silence fell between us for a brief moment before I felt a hand rest on my back. I glanced behind me but didn't turn around.
“Caleb, thank you. I appreciate that, but I do want to be comfortable, in every way, one day. With you.”
A smile tugged at the corner of my mouth.
“Plus, you've seen me with my top off already,” she added playfully. “You don't have to turn around unless I ask you to.” Her hand moved to my shoulder, and she made a slight pulling motion, as if to ask me to turn back around.
When I turned, I looked into her eyes, searching for any signs of hesitation, but I found none.
I passed her the cup of coffee. She thanked me and walked back to get dressed. I had only looked at her face until she walked away and I realized she hadn't put her shorts or pants back on before walking up to me.
I walked to the side of the bed I slept on and sat down, not completely facing her but still able to see her.
The soft morning light showed through the spot where the curtains met, and it made her ivory skin glow. Her long curvy legs, her hips, she had the most beautiful body I'd ever seen. I stared at her lustfully and reverently. She was everything I ever wanted but someone worth waiting for.
She started to talk to me as she lifted the shirt she wore to bed up over her head, turning to grab her bra and shirt. I could hear nerves in her voice as she only became more vulnerable, but she was trying so hard to be brave with me, something I would never take for granted.
Her shirt had been long enough to brush her thighs, and now that it was gone, I forgot how to breathe. The graceful line of her back, the curve of her hips—it all hit me at once, a rush of desire I fought to keep steady.
The nerves in her voice made her voice crack, which snapped me out of the trance I was in.
“Ranger?”
“I'm so sorry, Sunshine. I didn't hear what you said.”
“Oh. You said ‘yes’ to one of my questions. What was the last thing you heard?”
I chuckled out of embarrassment. “Honestly, I don't even remember you asking me a question. I'm so sorry, I got lost in...Well—” I motioned my hands to her. All of her.
Sounding a bit shyer, Rae asked, “In what?”
Hoping my confession hadn't made her uncomfortable, I replied with another one, figuring I was already in deep. “My mind got lost while watching you. Gosh, you're beautiful, Rae.”
Thirty seconds passed. Thirty seconds that felt like an eternity. “I'm sorry, I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable.”
Turning a deep shade of red, Rae stared back at me. She opened her mouth and then closed it, not knowing what to say. She picked up her regular bra and changed into it instead of the sports bra.
“Rae, I...”
“I'm not uncomfortable. I'm sorry. I...” She let out a nervous, breathy giggle.
“Can I come over there?”
She nodded with a small smile on her face.
I walked over to her, desire tight in my chest, where she was still standing just in a bra, socks, and panties. What mattered more than my feelings was making sure she saw it wasn’t just that—it was her.
I tipped her chin up so she could look at me. “Can I hold you?”
She answered by stepping towards me and wrapping her arms around me.
I wrapped my arms around her, feeling her soft skin as I touched her. “Can I try something? You can tell me to stop and I will. Promise.”
She nodded without even asking what I was thinking.
With just the tips of my fingers, I began to slowly trace the curves of her body.
I ran gentle fingers along her shoulder blade and spine, her waist and up to her rib cage.
She tensed and started to pull away. I reached for her hand, and she let me hold it.
Our eyes never strayed from each other. She trusted me, but I could tell she was still nervous, hesitant.
Her brain was lying to her, telling her not to trust me.
She didn’t pull farther away, so I pulled her close again, wrapping my arm around her and putting a gentle and firm hand on her back. I made sure my voice was calm and gentle when I spoke to her. “Hey baby. Stay. Look at my face.”
Her breathing was a bit more erratic, but not at the level it was the other night.
“Do you trust me?”
She swallowed hard and nodded. “I do. I promise.”
“Please try this. Trust that I won't hurt you. I won't do anything I know you won't like. If you don't like this or if you are uncomfortable, stop me, at any point. Okay?”
Her green eyes were locked on mine. “I trust you,” she whispered before she rested her head against me.
Gosh. Her saying those three words meant so much more than she would ever know. Rae trusting me after what she went through was the greatest honor.
I placed her hand that I had been holding around me.
My fingertips grazed her curves as soft as a whisper.
My touch never lingered in one spot. I traced the curve of her back and her hips, gently running my fingers along her rib cage, right under her chest. She tensed, and her breath hitched, but she didn't pull away.
When my hand moved away from her ribs, I felt her body relax.
It was like her brain was starting to rewire itself.
Her heart knew I wouldn't hurt her, but her brain still had walls up—walls that were slowly crumbling. After what that sick bastard did to her, I couldn’t blame her for being hesitant or even terrified of letting anyone close.
Rae timidly put her shaky hands on my chest and then pressed her body closer to mine. My hand was still on the small of her back, and I could now feel her shaking more than before.
“I will never hurt you, baby,” I whispered to her before I kissed her temple. She smelled like peaches and flowers, and it drove me wild.
Every part of me wanted to scoop her up and take care of her in every way, but I didn’t want to scare her. My fingertips trailed, feather light, up and down her back. When I finally moved past that, I was sure the lies in her brain would scream at her, making her move away, but she didn’t.
Please be comfortable with me, baby, I silently pleaded.
My touch was unhurried as my hands moved over her hips and down the length of her thighs before gliding back up, warm and steady. I wasn’t pushing for more; I was reminding her of the truth she was still learning to believe.
She was safe here. Safe with me.
“You okay, Sunshine?” I kissed the top of her head still resting against me.
She nodded and was still shaking some but didn't move.
“You sure? Did I push it too far?”
She shook her head.
“Hey...what are you thinking?” I ran my fingers through her hair.
She tilted her head back to look at me. It was like she was staring into my soul, searching for something.
After a moment, she buried her head against me again.
“I'm thinking...that I want to...try again, with you. I liked that.” A giggle bubbled out of her.
“Gosh—I really liked that. My heart knows I'm safe with you, Ranger. My brain...”
She looked up at me, and I touched her cheek. She leaned into my hand.
“Is lying to you?”
She nodded.
“Then I'll just have to keep telling it what the truth is, and hopefully soon, it will know what your heart knows.” I kissed her forehead. She closed her eyes, leaning into me more.
We stayed like this for a few minutes until Duke barked at the door, upset he was outside alone.
Rae let out a breathy laugh. “Something my heart knows at the moment is that if we don't go outside to feed the animals, I may never want to leave your arms.”
“I wouldn't mind that.” I kept my voice playful. “How about I go pull out the food for the animals and then you meet me out there when you're ready?”
She nodded, and I left her with a smile.