Chapter 39 | Rae
Rae
Caleb didn’t answer with words. He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed it, then leaned in and found my lips. It was a kiss that felt like a promise. The kiss began soft and searching, then deepened until the rest of the world fell away.
Caleb spoke first when we stopped kissing. “I need you to know, if you decide to stop, then we stop. I won’t care—I just want to be with you no matter what we’re doing. Okay, Sunshine?”
“I want this,” I whispered. “I want you.” I really did want to be with him. Forever.
He drew back just far enough to look at me, his thumb brushing my cheek. “I’m already yours, Rae.”
My mind was spinning. From kissing him like that, to thinking about the possibility of forever with him, to him saying “I'm yours,” I felt...Breathless. I loved the idea of being with him forever, and I know he said he wouldn’t be going anywhere, and that he was already mine. Did he mean forever, though?
There was so much kindness in his blue eyes. Caleb truly cared about me, and I loved him for that.
“One thing, if I can make a request. Let me take care of you. No pressure, no expectations. Just us.”
I nodded. A cool breeze lifted around us, smelling faintly like spring flowers.
The sun was slowly sinking in the sky behind us, but all I saw was him.
I tried to hold on to that thought—just us—as he guided me down to the blanket.
Every movement was deliberate, as if he were giving me time to decide with each touch.
He eased my shirt upward, fingers grazing the small of my back, his palms steady and warm. When the fabric was gone, he traced the lines of my shoulders. The slow rhythm of his touch was intoxicating. I felt tension leaving my body a little more with every breath.
His hands traced along my back, fingers brushing over the line of my bra. When he went to unhook it, he paused, brows pulling together. “There’s... no clasp?”
A breathy laugh slipped out of me. “Front clasp,” I said, fingers trembling just a little as I reached between us. “Here. I’ve got it.”
I took a slow breath and unhooked it. The cups fell away, the straps sliding down my shoulders. Caleb didn’t rush. He eased the straps the rest of the way down my arms and helped me out of my bra, gentle like always.
He’d seen me before—but this was different. This time, I was letting him have me. All of me.
Nerves fluttered in my stomach, but I didn’t hide, didn’t cover myself or look away. I met his gaze and let him see what I couldn’t seem to say out loud: I trust you. I choose you.
He looked at me for a long moment, and instead of shrinking from it, I let him see me. The tenderness and heat in his eyes steadied me more than words ever could. Caleb always saw the real me—the messy, healing, imperfect me—and loved me as I was, not as who I thought I needed to be.
He eased me back onto the soft blanket and kissed a path down my neck, to the peak of my breast. Tongue tracing over it, my body responding to his gentle touch.
When he moved to show the other side the same attention, I didn’t have time to react because of the memories it brought up.
Caleb kissed and touched me with such featherlight movements, like he was trying to show me how gentleness could rewrite what pain once taught me.
An involuntary sound escaped my lips, and Caleb paused to look at me—the setting sun causing his blue eyes to look like they were glowing. “I could stay here for hours, just learning you—listening to every sound you make,” he said with a smile that made me giggle.
He worshipped me with his mouth—slow, patient—taking his time as if he wanted to learn me.
Each slow pass of his tongue pulled quiet sounds from me I didn’t know I could make, and when my hips lifted toward him, he kissed lower, down my stomach, his hands warm where they held my sides.
His lips teased over my skin, sending heat through me I couldn’t ignore.
It had been so long since anyone touched me with this kind of care, and every unhurried slide of his hands drew a deep, aching response from me, like my body was finally remembering what safety felt like.
His mouth brushed along my hip, pausing as he breathed against my skin.
“You’re beautiful,” he murmured, voice rough.
His hands continued their slow exploration, skimming over the curve of my hip and the faint tremor of my stomach.
His touch wasn’t a demand; it was a language all its own, a conversation that my heart understood.
When he reached the waistband of my jeans, he paused and looked up. “Still good?”
“Yes,” I said, breath catching a little.
He unbuttoned and eased them down my legs, slow and careful. His fingertips brushed my skin on the way, and a small shiver moved through me. When I tensed, just an old reflex, I couldn’t hide it fast enough.
Caleb noticed immediately.
He didn’t ask what was wrong. He didn’t make it a big deal. He just came back to me, bracing one hand beside my head as he leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to my lips.
“I’ve got you,” he murmured. “Always.”
A cool breeze blew across the field and something loosened inside me—like the breeze was blowing away the tension I held onto.
I hadn’t even realized I’d been holding my breath until I finally let it out.
I reached up and kissed him, needing that closeness for just a second more before letting him continue.
He slid my jeans the rest of the way down, taking the lacy fabric underneath with them, until there was nothing left between us.
My thighs pressed together briefly, nerves flickering under my skin.
Caleb didn’t push or rush—he simply lowered himself again and pressed a slow kiss to the inside of my knee, his hands warm where they rested on my legs.
Another kiss, higher on my leg this time, and my breath stuttered.
“So damn beautiful,” he said, voice low and laced with heat. “All of you.”
His fingertips traced the inside of my thigh, slow enough to make my breath catch. His gaze followed the path of his hand, and when it settled, his eyes darkened, like he was already lost in me.
His hand trailed slowly up my thigh, giving me time to feel every inch of his touch before he reached me.
When his fingers finally brushed over me, the first stroke pulled a gasp from me; the second stole my breath entirely.
He watched me fall apart under his touch, his rhythm shifting to match every change in my breathing, every restless shift of my body.
He explored me carefully, like he was learning what I liked, what made my body react, and every slow stroke made my hips lift, asking for more.
The sounds leaving me were raw, honest, and uncontrollable. My composure slipped, along with any hope of hiding how much I needed him. I was getting close—my body tightening, breath catching—as his name fell from my lips. And when it hit, I went over the edge fast, shaking, lost in him.
My breathing was still uneven, a small laugh escaping before I could stop it. I felt flushed, dizzy, and a little shy, but happy in a way I hadn’t felt in a long time.
Caleb smiled that sweet smile that always melted me. He brushed a strand of hair from my cheek, his eyes warm. For a second, it seemed like he thought that might be the end—that we’d stop here.
But I didn’t want to stop. I propped myself up on the blanket that was now slightly rumpled and looked at him—the man I knew cared about me more than anyone else.
“I need you,” I whispered, still breathless.
He froze—not tense, just surprised. His eyes searched mine, and emotion flickered in them. I reached for his shirt and pulled him to me. “Please, Ranger,” I whispered, voice barely there.
He shifted closer, his hands still patient. Then he reached toward the saddlebag beside us. The sound of leather and a small metallic rustle made me laugh through my nerves.
“You came prepared?” I teased.
He grinned, voice low. “Didn’t want to ruin the moment by not being ready for you.”
That flicker of humor eased what little tension was left inside me. I was nervous, yes, but not scared. Not with him.
Caleb leaned back in, his forehead resting against mine, and everything else blurred—the grass beneath us, the faint whinnying from the horses, the warmth of his breath on my lips.
I pulled him in to kiss me, the kind of kiss that left me a little dizzy and smiling against his lips. My hands found his belt, trembling as I worked the buckle, and he helped. When his clothes were gone, the air between us felt heavier, charged.
I looked at him, eyes wide, a breath catching in my throat. “Wow...” The word came out soft, almost a laugh. “You’re...wow.”
His mouth curved into that half-smile that always undid me. “Yeah?” His voice was low, playful in a way that melted me. “You’re pretty wow yourself.”
I met his gaze and saw a tenderness in his eyes that I’d not seen before. At that moment I knew I loved him.
He slid into me slowly, watching my face the whole time. A small sound left me, and he paused to press a kiss to my forehead.
“You okay?” he whispered.
I nodded, pulling him closer. “Better than okay.”
He let out a quiet laugh, breathless. “You’re gonna kill me,” he whispered.
He moved again, slower this time, burying himself in me inch by inch until he was fully there. A low groan escaped him as he kissed along my jaw and down my neck, his breath warm against my skin.
He began to move, slow at first, finding a rhythm that made my breath catch.
Each deep roll of his hips drew a quiet sound from me, my body meeting his like it already knew the pace.
His hand slid along my side, tracing up until his palm rested over my breast. His touch was feather-light, exactly how I liked it, fingers brushing over my skin in soft, coaxing circles.
A quiet sound left me, part groan, part sigh. “I love making you feel good,” he whispered against my neck. “You have no idea what you do to me when you fall apart like this.”
He explored me with quiet patience, each slow movement in perfect rhythm with the way we moved. Every soft sound that escaped me pulled another breath from him, another tremor through his body.
“You’re perfect,” he murmured, voice rough but tender. “Everything about you.”
Pleasure built fast, sharp and consuming, and when it broke, I clutched at him, his name escaping my lips. He followed with a low, broken groan, both of us trembling through the aftershocks.
He eased down beside me, pulling me close until I was tucked against his chest. His lips brushed over my shoulder, my temple, soft, lingering kisses that said everything words couldn’t.
“That was...You were...” he said softly.
I smiled into his chest, my breath still uneven. “Same.”
He brushed his lips across my hair and held me close.
The wind moved through the tall grass, tugging gently at the edge of the blanket. For a moment, there was nothing but the two of us—quiet, safe, and whole.
He stayed close for a while, both of us still catching our breath. The air was warm, the sunlight low and golden across the field. Soft orange and pale blue still streaked the sky. Everything felt slower, quieter, different in the best way.
When he finally pulled away, it was slow, careful, like he didn’t want to break the stillness that had settled around us.
“Don’t move,” he requested.
He reached for the saddlebag and pulled out a couple of small towels. I watched as he poured a bit of water onto one, the fabric darkening as it soaked in.
My brow furrowed. “What are you doing?”
He looked up, a small grin tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Helping,” he said quietly.
“Caleb,” I whispered, my voice catching, “you don’t have to...”
“I want to.”
He cleaned me up with a tenderness that made my chest ache, his touch slow and careful, like this, too, mattered.
Taking care of me was as natural as breathing for him.
I tried to blink back the sting in my eyes, but the tears still came.
He noticed, of course he did, and brushed his thumb under my eye before I could look away.
His voice was soft and a little rough. “You have no idea what it does to me, being the one you trust like this.”
I nodded, my throat too tight for words. He just kept moving, gentle as ever.
When he finished, he used the other towel for himself just as quietly, setting them both aside before coming back to me.
He pulled me into his arms again, the warmth of his skin against mine, sunlight still glinting off his shoulders as the sun hung lower in the sky.
Everything around us glowed in this moment, caught somewhere between day and dusk, and for the first time in a long time, I didn’t want to be anywhere else.