Chapter 43 | Rae
Rae
I turned over and reached out for Caleb, but he wasn't lying next to me. I abruptly sat up and let my eyes adjust to the dim lighting in the room. Caleb wasn't in the room with me, but Duke was at the door of the room, lying in the door frame.
Checking my phone, I saw a text message notification and opened it. When I saw it was from Caleb, I breathed a sigh of relief. The message had only been sent five minutes ago.
Caleb: Hey baby. I'm so sorry, I couldn't sleep and was getting restless. I didn't want to be selfish and wake you, so I went to the living room, until I felt tired enough. I love you.
The bedroom door was open slightly and the light of the TV flickered on the hallway walls. I walked out of the room and to the end of the hallway. The volume of the TV was on but low, sounding like whispers.
“Caleb?” My voice was no higher than a whisper in case he had fallen asleep on the couch.
“Oh gosh Rae, I'm so sorry I woke you up.”
There were worry lines on his face and dark circles under his eyes. Something was really bothering him.
“You didn't. I did get nervous when you weren't in bed, though. Couldn't sleep?”
He ran a hand over his face. “Pretty much.”
I sat on the couch next to Caleb and placed my hand on his arm. “What's on your mind?”
“Ah, it's nothing. I'm sorry if I worried you.”
I gave him a look and he immediately knew I didn't believe him.
He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his legs, head in his hands. “I had a nightmare. Partially about my parents.” He sounded exhausted.
“Oh my gosh, Caleb. I'm so sorry.” I reached for his arm and gave it a gentle nudge.
Then I motioned for him to come to me. I guided him to rest his head on my chest, and when he did, I wrapped my arms around him.
“If you want to talk, I'm here.” I gently started to trace circles on his head, feeling the slight prick of the stubble.
He had done this for me multiple times, and it helped, so I figured I would try it. Thankfully, it did.
“Thanks, Rae. Dreams don't normally mess with me, especially after all these years, but this one was different.”
“How so?”
“It started like every other dream I have like this. My parents were driving and my brother and I were in the back. The crash happens, but this time...you were there, too.”
My breath stilled for a moment, but then I relaxed again. I wrapped my arms around him, holding him close. “Don't worry, I'm right here. I'm safe.”
“I know, I just didn't want to see my parents' accident again and then possibly one with you in it. I couldn't stop it, couldn't help you...like I couldn't help them.”
“Caleb...” My voice was soft but sure, the kind of calm he always gave me when the panic crept in.
“You were in the car. You lived through it, too. You couldn’t have stopped it.
” My fingers moved slowly over his shoulder, grounding him.
“You were in that crash, too, and didn’t walk away untouched.
You survived something that should’ve broken you. That’s not failure, that’s strength.”
He didn’t speak, but the way his hand curled tighter around my arm said everything.
“And as for the dream...I know how real they can feel. But I’m not gone.
I’m right here. You didn’t lose me.” I tilted my head and kissed his cheek, my hand moving gently on his arm.
“You couldn’t stop the crash, no. But you’ve been protecting people ever since, protecting me. You never stop trying.”
He swallowed hard, his voice rough. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you.” He shifted slightly, his hand resting over mine. “But I swear, Rae...I’m not letting anything happen to you.”
“I know.”
After a few minutes, his breathing started to change. "Hey...come back to bed with me." He gave me a smile as I tugged him to his feet. We walked to our room and climbed into bed, with Duke at our feet.
Under the covers, together again, I pressed my forehead close to his and whispered, "You’re not alone in this, Ranger. You don't always have to be the strong one.”
His eyes were heavy and he tried to keep them open so he could look at me. "As long as you don’t feel like the broken one." He placed a gentle kiss on the tip of my nose.
My throat tightened but I smiled anyway, leaning forward and brushing my lips over his. "Deal."
Finally, Caleb's breathing eased and sleep finally came.