Chapter 45 | Rae
Rae
“How about I work on those sore muscles now? Would you like that?” We’d sat back down at the table and talked for a bit after cleaning up after dinner.
Gosh, would I ever, but he must be tired and sore, too. “Are you sure? I don't want to—”
Caleb put his hand up to stop me. “Nope. None of that. My girl will not be thinking my offer to give her a massage is an inconvenience for me.”
His girl. I would never get tired of hearing that.
“Okay, okay...Point made.” I laughed and rolled my eyes. Caleb stood and offered his hand to me before leading me to our room.
The light in the room was low, warm, and honey-soft from the lamp on the nightstand. I took off everything but my undergarments and turned to see Caleb staring at me with his eyes wide and mouth open some.
“Wha—? Should I not have..?” I reached for my pajama pants.
Caleb was next to me within half a second. “Rae, stop, honey.” He turned me to look at him. His hold on my arms was firm but not controlling. I looked at his eyes and I knew one thing for sure. Caleb loved me.
I’d seen videos or photos of grooms seeing their brides on their wedding day.
They would cry at the sight of them. I had wished that someone could love me like that, but I never got that from Ethan, not even in the early days of our relationship.
But here I was, with Caleb holding me and looking at me the way I had longed for.
“I thought clothes would get in the way, but then I realized I should have asked. But...” I got lost in the look on his face and didn’t finish my thought. As if he knew what I was thinking, Caleb finished it for me.
“They do get in the way.” He flashed me a mischievous smile. “And you realized you don’t have to ask with me, and don’t have to be anything but yourself with me?” His voice was low and had a slight rasp to it.
Desire flared immediately, like a small fire doused in lighter fluid.
It was like an immediate switch. While I had been so unbelievably attracted to him before and felt the pull to him that I felt right now, nothing had felt like this before.
Even though we’d been together before, I had to force my brain to listen and not put walls up.
Now, it was like my head finally caught up with my heart.
I wanted him so badly, right now, forever, in every way.
The heat inside me only grew more intense.
“Hey, where did you go?” I heard his voice, like it was far off in the distance, and it made me snap back to reality. His arms were wrapped around me, and our faces were inches from each other’s.
I focused on his face again. “Sorry, I got lost in thought. Don’t worry, though, they were good thoughts.” I gave him a little wink and smiled.
“Okay, good. I was wondering.” He returned the smile. “Let me help take away this tension,” he said with that rasp that had started the thoughts I had. The tension he spoke about was not the one I was thinking of.
I removed the rest of my clothes, giving Caleb a mischievous smile as I did so.
I could tell he was trying so hard to keep his composure.
I lay face down on the bed, completely bare beneath one of the flannel blankets, the edge tucked under the curve of my hips.
My hair had air-dried into soft waves after my shower, a few loose ringlets fell against my cheek.
The mattress moved as he climbed onto the bed behind me, carefully straddling my thighs.
I could feel the weight of him, solid but gentle.
He moved my hair off my neck and leaned down to kiss my skin before whispering that he loved me.
He smelled like the warm scent of whisky and coffee, the smell that had become familiar and safe.
I closed my eyes as Caleb picked something up off the nightstand. The sound of his hands rubbing together filled the quiet, and then the first touch of warmth spread across my back as he pressed his palms to my skin.
He didn’t rush. His hands started at my neck and moved to my shoulders.
Each movement was slow and steady, working out the knots I’d earned from hours of lifting, sweeping, and bending, the kind of soreness that ached with movement.
His touch was firm and warm, and I felt like I was melting with every touch.
A low breath escaped me before I could stop it.
The tension I hadn’t realized I was still carrying started to unravel beneath his hands.
“You’re all knotted up, baby,” he murmured, his voice quiet and low, like he was talking more to himself than to me.
His hands moved lower, along the slope of my back, his thumbs brushing along the sides of my ribs before sliding down again. He didn’t pull at the blanket or uncover more than what I’d already given him. But his touch...it was everything. Careful. Intentional. Devoted.
My lashes fluttered closed as I sank deeper into the feeling of it. Every pass of his hands seemed to reach something beyond muscle, like he was untangling more than just the knots in my body.
When he reached the middle of my back, his hands paused, heat radiating through his palms. His voice was quiet. “Can I go lower?”
My answer came out soft but certain. “Yes.”
The blanket shifted slightly as he tugged it down just a few inches, exposing the top of my hips.
His thumbs kneaded slowly along my waist, then my hips.
Every time his hands glided over my skin, my breath grew a little shakier.
He adjusted, working down my legs. He massaged my calves first, then back up my thighs.
His thumbs traced my thighs with measured pressure, skimming close enough to make my pulse quicken.
He didn’t intentionally do it, and that only made me want him more.
A small moan slipped out of me, quiet and unguarded.
He froze, hands still. “Too much?”
My fingers curled into the sheets. “No,” I whispered, breathless. “Not enough.”
Caleb’s breath stilled just slightly, the air between us shifting. “Yeah?”
I nodded into the pillow, then turned my head just enough to see him. “I want more. I need you.”
He stared at me for a moment, like he was looking into my soul. He leaned down, his lips brushing the top of my thigh. “Whatever you need.”
I rolled onto my back slowly, the blanket still draped across my waist. He reached out as if to help but didn’t pull, just waited. I let the blanket fall on my own. I didn’t feel the urge to hide.
“I want you to touch me,” I said quietly.
His eyes darkened, but his hands stayed gentle. He bent forward, his lips pressing to my stomach, then lower, tracing soft paths across my skin. Every touch, every brush of his breath, sent warmth spilling through me until I couldn’t tell where his touch ended and mine began.
Caleb shifted to the edge of the bed before quickly tugging me towards him.
His hands moved on my thighs as he smiled up at me.
“You are so beautiful, Rae,” he whispered just before his mouth was on me in a way that made the world blur.
The first brush of his mouth drew a sound from deep inside me, quiet but desperate.
He took his time, learning what made me gasp, what made my fingers clutch at the sheets.
Every motion was patient, each one meant to pull me closer to that breaking point.
He didn’t stop when my body started to tremble, didn’t stop when I whispered his name.
He stayed with me through every shiver, every breath, coaxing me higher until I finally let go, the room spinning and quiet except for the sound of us breathing.
When I opened my eyes again, he was watching me, his expression soft in the dim light.
“Come here,” I whispered, needing him closer than he already was.
He moved up the bed, his hand finding mine as he kissed me. The taste of him, the warmth of his body against mine, it all blurred together. I pulled back just enough to look at him, to let him see me.
“I want you, Ranger,” I confessed as my hands slipped under his shirt.
“All of you. Right now.” As soon as his shirt was gone, I reached for his pants.
He had changed into soft flannel pants after his shower, and I couldn’t get the knot undone.
My hands were shaking a bit because of how badly I wanted him.
Caleb helped undo the knot and soon there was nothing between us.
I felt the heat of his body against mine immediately, as well as how badly he wanted me.
“Lie back,” I said. My voice shook, not from nerves, but from wanting him in a way my brain had never let me before.
He blinked once, maybe surprised, but then he gave me that soft smile. “Yeah, baby,” he murmured as his thumb brushed over my cheek.
He eased back, lying on his back, relaxed. I straddled his hips carefully, my thighs trembling slightly. I felt exposed, but not unsafe. Never unsafe with him.
“Oh, wait. I need to grab a...” He started to reach for the nightstand, but I placed my hand on his arm to stop him.
“Caleb, wait. You don’t need to do that.
I was in my head the first time and forgot to say anything.
I’m on birth control. I was forced to take it, and it became routine, so I just continued. ”
His eyes searched mine for a moment before I leaned down and kissed him.
As I sat back up, he followed, continuing our kiss.
I playfully pushed him back before I placed my hands on his chest to steady myself, feeling the steady rise and fall beneath my palms. My breath came slow, uneven, my eyes moved down his body before finding his again.
“I’ve never been on top before,” I said quietly.
There wasn’t shame in what I had admitted, just truth.
“It wasn’t really something I ever got to do. ”
His warm hands slid to my hips, grounding me in a way words never could. His gaze held mine. He gently squeezed my hips slightly before moving them over my thighs. “You’re in charge now,” he said quietly. “Take what you need, Sunshine.”
Something inside me loosened. I leaned down, kissed him, and everything that followed was slow, steady, and real. Not about proving anything, not about forgetting, but about remembering what it felt like to want and to be wanted without fear.
My lips parted on a soft breath as I steadied myself over him, my hands resting lightly on his chest. For a moment I just breathed, letting myself feel the warmth of him beneath my palms. Caleb made a low sound the second I touched him, deep and quiet, and it gave me enough courage to keep going.
I moved slowly, guiding us closer, letting my body adjust. The first bit of pressure pulled a gasp from me, my breath catching before I could stop it.
Everything about this felt intense and overwhelming in the best way.
I placed my hand more firmly on his chest, using the steady beat under my palm to anchor myself.
Caleb’s hands settled at my hips. “Nice and slow, baby.” His voice was soft in a way that settled something deep inside me.
I nodded and kept moving, taking my time. Each shift sent warmth curling through me, my breath uneven as I found a pace that felt right. He stayed relaxed beneath me, letting me lead without pushing me in any direction.
When I finally settled against him, my head dipped forward and a quiet sound slipped from my lips. “Gosh, you feel so good,” I whispered, my voice shaking just enough to give me away.
Caleb let out a strained breath and a smile. “You feel like heaven, baby. And you look so beautiful.”
I began to move slowly, learning the rhythm as I went.
Everything about it felt intense, and it only made me want him more.
His hands stayed at my hips, grounding me without steering me.
When I shifted a certain way and a gasp slipped out, I did it again.
My pace stayed slow and careful, but I grew more confident with each small roll of my hips, especially when he reacted as I moved.
My palms slid across his chest, clinging to him as I found what felt good.
“Sunshine, I love seeing you like this.” His voice was a bit raspy. “Taking what you want.”
Heat moved through me as his words caused my body to react before I could even think about it. I rocked harder, deeper, my thighs trembling with the effort, but the pleasure pushed everything else aside.
Caleb lifted his hips in soft, controlled movements that met mine perfectly, each sound he made pulling another wave of desire through me.
We moved together slowly, finding a rhythm that felt right between us.
Warmth built inside me with every movement, my breath growing unsteady.
Caleb let out a low groan, trying to hold himself back for me, but I knew he was close.
When it finally washed over me, it took my breath away.
My whole body drew tight in a way that felt so overwhelming, a quiet cry slipping out as I fell apart with his name on my lips.
That was all it took for him. His body tensed beneath my hands as he followed, a rough sound leaving him as he buried his face in my neck.
We stayed there, breathing against each other.
Our racing hearts slowly settled. I melted against his chest, warm and weightless, and he pressed a gentle kiss to my temple, brushing my hair back with his fingers.
We stayed tangled together, holding on to the quiet, letting the moment soften around us.
Caleb’s hand moved along my back, soft and unhurried. “You didn’t just take control tonight,” he whispered. “You owned it.”
I smiled against his skin. “Gosh, I liked that.”
He laughed softly, the sound low and warm. “So did I.”