Chapter 18
I leaned back in my window seat, watching the waves crash against the rocky shore. The sound of it permeated the windows of my room, just enough to bring a morsel of comfort. But my heart still ached. As if someone had taken a mallet to it and then just walked away.
A soft knock sounded on my door. I didn’t want to answer. But it had been hours since I’d escaped up here. I hadn’t answered the first two knocks that had come, and I knew if I kept that up, someone would just barge in.
“Come in.” I didn’t bother looking at who was there. It didn’t really matter. I wasn’t sure any of them really wanted me here.
Briar let out a hiss from her cat tower as soft footfalls sounded on the floor.
I kept my gaze on the water.
Someone sat opposite me on the window seat.
Out of the corner of my eye, I glimpsed sandy brown hair that was a little wild. Of course, they’d send Dash. Sending him away would be like kicking a puppy.
“You okay?” he asked softly. When I didn’t answer, he pushed on.
“That was dumb. Of course, you’re not okay.
None of this is your fault. Colt feels guilty as hell.
Trace does, too, in his own way. All everyone wants is for you to be safe, but we just can’t agree on the best way to make that happen. ”
Dash sucked in a breath after finishing his diatribe. “Sorry you got hurt.”
I turned to take him in. He’d changed out of his uniform and was now in a white tee and gray joggers. The cotton of the shirt did nothing to disguise the muscled chest beneath it. It was a beautiful juxtaposition to the boyishly handsome features of his face.
“I want to go home,” I said honestly.
Dash’s brows pulled together. “It didn’t sound like home was that awesome of a place.”
“Not to Louisiana and Maryanne. I want Michigan and my dad.” Tears burned the backs of my eyes. “I want a time and a place that doesn’t even exist anymore, but I’m so homesick for it, I feel like my heart’s being torn in two.”
Pain flashed across Dash’s face. “It’s the worst kind of homesickness there is.”
Something about his expression told me he understood far better than I could’ve guessed.
“I miss home every day, but when things are hard…the ache becomes a living, breathing thing.”
My fingers dug into my calves. “Why can’t you go home?”
Dash gave me a sad smile. “It’s a time and place that doesn’t exist anymore.”
“What happened?”
He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing.
“You don’t have to tell me,” I hurried to say. The last thing I wanted to do was cause someone else pain.
Dash shook his head. “It’s okay. I just don’t talk about it a lot. My family was killed a couple of years ago. Colt’s dad took me in after that. I could’ve kept my family’s house, but it wasn’t a home anymore, so I let it go.”
Pain streaked through my chest. He’d lost everyone in a single moment. “I’m so sorry.” I reached out, linking my fingers with his.
The moment our hands connected, I was lost to a sea of visions. A younger version of Dash, tears streaking down his face as Colt pulled him into a hard hug. Then, a much older version of him with gray hair and a lined face. He wrapped his arms around a woman. “Love you even more today, Leighton.”
I jerked out of the images assailing me. Dash’s gaze was locked on our joined hands as if right there lay all the riches in the world. It was on the tip of my tongue to ask if he’d somehow seen it, too.
Dash shook his head, forcing his gaze to my face. “I’m sorry you lost your dad. Colt’s told me a lot about him. He sounds amazing.”
I let out a shaky breath. “He was. My best friend. I just want…I don’t know…to find some steady ground again. I thought maybe I could get that here, but…”
“Now, you’re not so sure.”
I nodded. “I don’t want to force my presence on anyone.”
“You’re not,” Dash argued.
I huffed out a laugh, but there was no humor in it. “Pretty sure Trace would disagree with you.”
“Trace wants you here. He just doesn’t want to let himself admit it.”
I found that hard to believe.
Dash sighed and squeezed my hand. “Then hear me. I want you here. I love that you’re in our house, that we’ll get to spend every day with you. I can’t wait to get to know you better. The big things and the little ones. Like how you eat the crust off your toast first.”
I blushed at the idea of Dash paying so close attention to me at breakfast. “The inside’s the best part. I like to eat it last.”
He chuckled. “Delayed gratification. I like it.”
I lifted my gaze to him. “Thanks for being so kind to me.”
“Always. Just promise me you’ll give it time before you decide to run off and leave us all in the dust.”
I slumped back against the wall. “Am I that easy to read?”
The corner of his mouth kicked up. “Maybe just a little.” The amusement slipped from his expression. “I don’t want to lose you before we’ve even had a chance to truly know you. It’s going to take time to find our rhythm, but we’ll get there. I promise.”
The earnestness in his plea had my walls crumbling. “Okay.”
Dash squeezed my hand and then released it. “Good.”
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a necklace. It looked like a locket of sorts. Gold metal with an etched design on the front. “This is for you.”
“Dash…that looks expensive.”
He shook his head. “It’s been in my family for generations. There are some herbs inside that help with protection. It’ll make me feel better if you wear it.”
“Herbs for protection…”
Dash shrugged. “I’ve got a thing for plants. My mom did, too. They have so many properties that go beyond beauty, healing of the mind and body and warding off things.”
He leaned forward, looping the necklace around my neck and fastening the clasp. “This is something I can do to keep you safe.”
I didn’t really believe that simple herbs would keep Damien from bothering me, but if it made Dash feel better, I wouldn’t argue. “Okay. Thank you. It’s beautiful.”
He leaned back, our eyes locking as my breath hitched. It was as if some invisible energy was pulling us together.
Dash’s eyes widened, and he hurried to stand. “I gotta go. But just promise me you’ll never take it off.”
“Okay, I promise.”
He studied me as if making sure I was telling the truth. “Thank you. I don’t think I could handle if anything happened to you.”