NINETEEN
Madelyn
My sisters play dirty.
Guess that’s what happens when I leave them no other choice.
For the second time in my life, I’ve found it necessary to isolate myself from my family and friends. This time, not for selfish reasons, but to protect them. I want to keep them away from my situation with David, but it’s hard. The more time that passes, the more difficult it is to lie. To put on a happy face and pretend I’m fine. Harder to hide the bruises and marks from the man who vowed to cherish me.
Short of blocking their numbers, I’ve done everything I can to avoid seeing them. My siblings know me too well to not know that something is wrong. They know that something bad is happening and I know that they’ll do everything they can to protect me. I worry for their safety and well-being if they find out what’s been happening behind closed doors. Holden, especially.
That’s the reason I’ve turned down every invitation to hang out. Ignored phone calls in favor of texting. Kept myself busy at work so I won’t have time to stop and talk.
Camille and Presley are over my excuses.
They did the one thing I can’t ignore. They went to Grams.
I’m not sure what they told her, but she was waiting for me when I got to the bakery this morning. I was barely in the door before she all but pushed me back out. Grams told me to take the day off to spend time with my sisters and banned me from The Sweet Spot for the day. What Grams says goes. She won’t be ignored.
So here I am, sitting at the salon with my sisters. It’s better than the alternative, which is sitting at home, fearing the moment that David walks in the front door.
Hair, nails, skin. Cami insisted we get the full treatment.
I choose a shimmery purple polish for my nails, relax back into the spa chair, close my eyes, and let them go to work. I have to admit, it feels pretty damn good to get pampered. It’s been too long since I’ve done something for myself. Might as well enjoy it.
“See, Mads. Aren’t you glad you decided to come out with us?” Camille asks.
Opening my eyes, I cock a brow. “As if I had a choice.”
“Desperate times and all that. You didn’t give us a choice, Madelyn. You’ve been pushing us away for too long.”
“I’m sorry.” I sigh. “I really am. I’m just...dealing with some things and I’m in a weird place right now.”
“Yeah, I bet.” Presley mutters.
I ignore her comment because responding won’t lead anywhere good.
“Whatever you’re dealing with, we’re here for you. Let us help you.” Cami reaches over, wrapping her hand around my forearm. “You look like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders, babe. We’re your family. Let us shoulder some of the burden.”
Tears well up in my eyes, threatening to spill over, but I blink them away.
“This...it’s not a battle you can fight for me, Cami.”
“But—”
“Cami. Let it go.”
I silently thank Presley for her interruption. I’m barely holding it together.
“Fine.” Camille says with a roll of her eyes. “What are you gonna do with your hair? I miss your silver hair. You should totally go back to it.”
The thought makes me freeze. My heart pounds in my chest. My palms start to sweat. My entire body begins to tremble. I feel like I’m choking on air. I can’t breathe.
“Mads? Madelyn, are you okay?”
A set of palms touches my cheeks, turning my head. I open my eyes and find myself looking into a pair identical to my own.
“Slow, deep breaths. Breathe in. Breathe out.”
My eyes drift closed, and I inhale deeply, slowly releasing the breath.
“That’s it. Keep going.”
Finally, my body starts to relax and when my eyes blink open, both of my sisters are watching me with matching expressions of concern. It’s Presley that still holds my face in the palms of her hands.
“I love you, Madelyn, but if it’s bad enough to cause panic attacks...it’s not something you need to deal with on your own. Let us in.”
Tears form again, this time there’s no stopping them from spilling down my cheeks.
“I—” I hiccup. “I don’t know if I can.”
Cami moves closer, sitting next to my legs on the chair. I don’t see the nail techs; they must have left to give us privacy.
“Of course you can. We love you no matter what. We just want to help. It hurts us to see you struggling like this.”
This is the moment of truth. Can I really be honest with them? How will they react? What will they do? How can I make them understand why I’ve dealt with it for so long?
Only one way to find out, because I’m too damn tired—mind, body, and soul—to keep up the facade.
“Ever since we got married...David hits me.” I whisper.
“That motherfucker!” Cami shouts, springing from the chair. She paces around the room, muttering to herself.
Presley wraps her arms around me, tucking her face into my shoulder.
“You should have told us sooner, Mads. You can’t stay with him.”
I’m about to argue with her, but Camille is back.
“Did that asshole do that?” she asks, pointing at the cast on my arm.
My silence provides the only answer she needs.
“I’ll fucking kill him, Madelyn. I swear to God, I’ll rip him apart with my bare hands.”
I’ve never seen Camille this angry.
“How could you stay with him? This has been happening for more than a year! A year, Madelyn! Why haven’t you left him?” she yells.
Dropping my head into my hands, I let it all go. I cry the tears I’ve held back for months, purging the emotions I’ve fought to control for so long.
Presley rubs my back, talking to Camille in hushed, angry whispers. It’s not as if I can’t hear what they’re saying, I choose to pretend I don’t.
They hear my whispered words, even through the flow of tears.
“I deserve it.”
An immediate hush takes over the room.
What feels like hours pass before Cami breaks the silence.
“If you weren’t already being abused, I’d knock some sense into you. There is nothing...absolutely fucking nothing you could have done that would ever make you deserve to be beaten by your husband. Nothing!” She paces, hands flying wildly as she rambles. “After everything you’ve been through. All the pain you’ve already suffered. I can’t believe this shit. Is this what you left Jaxson for? Huh? You left a man that would lay down his life for you...for some asshole who hurts you? Goddamn it, Madelyn.”
Wow. That hits me right where it hurts.
Presley—always the calm one—wraps her arms around me tightly.
“You can’t keep living with this, Madelyn. Don’t let him keep doing this to you.”
“It’s nothing I can’t handle.”
“Oh, Mads. I know you can handle it, you’re the strongest woman I know. But you shouldn’t have to. It’s not right.”
Cami starts in again. “You have to leave him. Better yet, tell Holden. You know—”
“No!” I stop pull away from Presley and Camille from going any further. “Holden can’t know. Promise me you won’t tell him.He’ll kill David. Literally kill him.”
Both of my sisters look at me with a mixture of sadness and confusion. They have to realize that our brother would do anything to protect us, even if that meant going to jail.
“Mads…” Presley trails off, but words aren’t needed. She wants to argue. Wants nothing more than to run to our brother, but that can’t happen.
“No, please. I’ll deal with this my own way. I don’t want anyone in trouble or hurt because of me. Things have gotten better. He hasn’t hit me since...well...” I look down at my arm, knowing that they understand what I’m not saying. “Please, please promise me you won’t say a word to Holden about this.”
“I don’t know if I can make that promise, Mads.” Presley chews on her bottom lip, going quiet again.
Cami stands with her arms crossed over her chest, staring me down. I can see her mind working, her thoughts playing out across her face. She steps forward, moving toward the chair next to mine.
“Fine. You’re right. Holden would end up in jail for beating that asshole to death, or worse.”
I sigh in relief, closing my eyes for a brief moment.
“Oh, you’re not getting out of it that easily, dear sister. I don’t like this. At all. But if I make this promise to you...I want you to promise me something in return.” She looks at Presley, who nods.
My eyes dart back and forth between the two of them, waiting for one of them to drop the bomb.
“Promise me that if he does anything, and I do mean anything out of line again. If he so much as lays a finger on you in anger...promise me, no...us, promise us that you’ll leave him.”
I’m a shitty sister.
Because even as I agree, I know I’m making a promise that’ll be broken.
Dread pools in the pit of my stomach when I get home from spending the day with my sisters to find the front door already unlocked.
Hesitating, I slowly turn the knob to open the door.
David is home.
And he’s angry.
His anger is almost palpable, the air thick with it, threatening to suffocate me.
Everything inside me is screaming for me to turn around. To close the door and seek solace with my sisters, with my brother. It’s too late for that now. He already knows I’m here. Running away would make it a thousand times worse.
Bracing myself, I remind myself to breathe and step into the house.
Closing the door behind me, I turn to see David leaning against the back of the couch. His arms are crossed over his chest, hands clenched into tight fists. The fire blazing in his eyes betrays the smile on his lips.
“Welcome home, Madelyn.”
I linger near the door as long as possible, setting my purse and keys down on the table in the entryway. When I can no longer prolong the inevitable, I push back my anxiety and move toward the kitchen, nervously greeting him in return.
“Hey, David. How was work? I hope you had a good day. I’m gonna get started on dinner. Is there anything in particular you’d like?”
He doesn’t answer my ramblings right away.
I get as far as the entryway to the kitchen before I freeze. I know he’s standing at my back when the tiny hairs stand up on the back of my neck. So close I can feel the warmth of his breath on my skin, causing goosebumps to pebble across the surface. A shiver races down my spine when he speaks.
“What I’d like, Madelyn, is for my wife to not be a liar and a whore.”
I know better than to turn to look at him—I do—but I can’t stop myself.
The moment my head is turned, he grabs my chin in a rough grip, pulling my face closer to his.
“Where were you today, wife?” He leans in so we’re cheek to cheek, gritting out his rough whisper in my ear through clenched teeth. “I’d be very careful with your answer, my love. You were not at work today where you were supposed to be. Where were you?”
“W-w-with my sisters.”
“Hmm.”
David cocks his head to the side—face emotionless—studying me as his hand slowly slides from my chin to my throat. His grip tightens, cutting off my air.
“I told you not to lie to me. That jackass you’ve been fucking behind my back? I saw him at the bakery today. I thought I told you to stay away from him?”
I can’t breathe, but I don’t move an inch. Fighting him only makes things worse for me, but I swear he gets off on it. My lungs burn from struggling to take in air, the lack of it makes my head swim and my eyes water.
David finally relaxes his grip when my eyes start to close.
My chest heaves as I gulp in air.
He stands, silently watching me as I catch my breath. When I finally do, I open my mouth to speak, to defend myself and set him straight. I should have known it was no use. Before I can utter a sound, David leans forward, pulling my bottom lip between his teeth. He bites down hard, and I can taste the coppery tang of blood from my lip.
He pulls away, a feral grin twisting his features.
“I forgive you, Madelyn. I’ll always forgive you because you’re mine, not his.” He leans in, licking the blood from my lip before dragging his tongue up my cheek. “You’ll never belong to him.”
Grabbing my good arm, David turns away, practically dragging me behind him. He crosses the living room, heading directly for the stairs. I know what’s coming, and I don’t want it. For the first time tonight, I try to fight.
“No, David. Please, don’t do this.” I plead, trying to pull myself free of him.
“I love when you beg, baby.”
When he reaches the bottom of the stairs, I let my body go lax. He drags me up the stairs behind him, the carpet burning my knees and shins.
“I don’t want this, David. You can’t keep doing this to me.”
Stopping at our bedroom door, he throws his head back in maniacal laughter.
“I can’t do this? I can’t do this? Really, Madelyn? You’re my wife!” he yells. “Your body belongs to me and you shared it with another man. You disgust me! But you’ll make it up to me.”
He chuckles and starts pulling me behind him again. Once I’m inside the room, he releases me, turning to shut the door.
“Oh yes, you’re definitely going to pay.”