THIRTY-NINE
Jaxson
(Two years later)
“Jaxson!”
I hear Madelyn holler from somewhere inside, but something in her tone sets me on edge.
Dropping the bottles I was stocking in the outdoor bar—not caring if they break—I run inside to find her. I check the kitchen first, since that’s where she was when I last saw her, but she’s nowhere in sight.
“Where are you baby? What’s wrong?” I call out, heading toward our bedroom.
She doesn’t respond, so I move faster. Something isn’t right.
I don’t see her in the bedroom, so I turn around to check the rest of the house, but a noise from the bathroom catches my attention. Hurrying across the room, I say her name as I push open the door, “Madelyn?”
There she is...sitting on the bathroom floor, back against the wall. I notice her position first. Head resting on her knees, which are curled up to her chest, arms wrapped around them tightly. Then I notice the tears streaming down her face.
She’s fucking crying. What the hell?
“Mads, baby. What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” I ask, voice laced with fear.
I move to take a step toward her when something crunches under my foot. Taking my attention away from my obviously upset wife, I look down and that’s when I see them.
Pregnancy tests.
At least a dozen of them scattered across the floor.
All used, from the looks of them.
“Madelyn. Talk to me, baby. Are you…” I trail off, not able to say the word without hope.
She lifts her head slightly, just enough to nod.
Holy fucking hell!
“Y-you’re pregnant?” I ask, needing verbal confirmation. I need to hear her fucking say it.
“Yes,” she answers quietly.
I close the distance between us and wrap her in my arms, just as she chokes out a sob. I know my wife. These aren’t tears of joy.
“Aren’t you happy, baby?” I ask, genuinely confused.
“I am. So happy. But I’m terrified, Jax. What if we lose this baby, too?”
She looks up at me and the fear is there—plain as day across every inch of her face. I’m weak when it comes to my wife and I cannot stand to see her tortured expression. She’s struggling right now and I fucking hate it.
This should be a happy moment for both of us, but faced with the reality of the situation, even my excitement is muted.
Madelyn and I have never actively tried to have a baby, but we’ve never done anything to prevent pregnancy, either. We knew the chances of her getting pregnant were practically nonexistent, and after two years I think we’d both pretty much given up hope. We didn’t think it would ever really happen. That’s why this news comes as such a surprise.
I’m scared, too. But I refuse to let our fear overpower the happiness we should be feeling.
Seeing my wife look so utterly broken at the news of our child growing inside her doesn’t sit right.
Tipping her chin up with my knuckle, I give her a calm smile.
“I understand your fear, baby, because I’m afraid too. But we can’t let the fear win, we can’t give it that power over us. So be happy. You’re going to have my baby. A beautiful girl who looks just like her gorgeous mama.”
A wistful expression crosses her face before her mouth widens to a radiant smile.
It’s a beautiful sight.
“We’ll take things day by day, one step at a time. And until we have a reason not to be—we’ll be happy.”
“Okay, Jax.”
I stand, holding my hand out for her to take. When she places her hand in mine, I help her up from the floor. Hands on her hips, I lean in and kiss her soft lips.
“Now, I’m gonna clean this up for you, while you go grab your phone and schedule an appointment with your doctor. I have no clue how this is supposed to go, but I want you to see her as soon as possible.”
“Thank you, honey,” she says, pressing a quick kiss to my cheek before leaving me alone in the bathroom.
Once I’m sure she’s gone, I close the bathroom door and gather the tests in a plastic bag. Planting my hands at the edge of the counter, I close my eyes and hang my head.
I take a minute to breathe, knowing that I won’t be able to do so easily for the next several months. Not until our baby is born and tucked safely in my arms.
Two days later, Mads and I hold each other’s hands tightly as we wait for her name to be called.
Given her history with pregnancies, her doctor was eager to get her in right away. I was thankful we seem to be on the same page in that aspect.
Madelyn is nervous, understandably.
I’ve pushed my own nerves and worry aside since we found out. I know it’s not necessarily a healthy thing to do, but right now, Madelyn needs my strength and positivity. She’s worried enough for both of us and I worry about her stressing too much, and the effects it could have on her and the baby.
Her knee starts to bounce rapidly, so letting go of her hand, I rest my palm on her thigh and give it a gentle squeeze. Thankfully, she seems to relax a bit, until the door opens, and a nurse pokes her head out.
“Madelyn Blackwood?”
God, I’ll never stop loving the way that sounds.
She stands, grabbing my hand to pull me with her.
“Hi, Mrs. Blackwood. I’m Brenda. If you’ll follow me, we’ll get you started while we wait for the doctor to finish up with another patient.”
Madelyn smiles nervously, but follows the nurse, still pulling me behind her. Seeing her lead me down the hallway, the nurse winks and I chuckle.
Brenda sticks me in an exam room to wait while she takes Mads to pee in a cup, check her weight, and whatever else they do at these appointments. I’m really gonna have to buy some books to read or something because I have no clue what I’m doing. At this point, I’m just winging it.
Looking around the room, I see it’s full of informative posters about the female reproductive system, birth control, and childbirth. One of the posters in the corner of the room catches my eye. I can’t really see what it is, so I stand to get a better look.
Seconds later, I regret the decision. I plant my ass back in the chair, stair at my shoes, and make a mental note to stay near Madelyn’s head when she gives birth.
I’m mid-cringe when Mads comes into the room. She gives me a curious look, but I stand quickly, helping her up onto the exam table. I’m sure she can do it on her own, but I’m going to help her every step of the way.
Fifteen minutes later, there’s a knock at the door before it opens and a woman in a white lab coat enters the room. Gonna assume this is the doctor.
“Madelyn, good to see you,” she says. “You must be her husband. I’m Dr. Townsend.”
I nod, hoping she gets to the important stuff. The anticipation is killing me. I mean, we already know she’s pregnant. But hearing it from a medical professional is even more confirmation. Hopefully by the time this appointment ends, Mads and I will have a little less worry.
“Well, I can definitely confirm that you are pregnant.”
I smile at the news. Until I see the look on the doctor’s face. I wait for the “but” that’s about to follow.
“I’ve looked over your hospital records,” she says, flipping through some pages in a file folder she brought in with her. A deep crease forms between her brows. “Your history with miscarriages makes this a high-risk pregnancy. But my real concern is the damage to your uterus.”
“What do you mean?” Mads asks.
“Well, it’s a miracle you’ve managed to conceive at all. With the scarring in your uterus, I wouldn’t consider this pregnancy a viable one. There’s a very small chance you could carry the fetus to term and if you did manage, the birth would be extremely dangerous for both you and the baby.”
I look from the doctor to Madelyn. Her expression is blank and closed off.
I’m usually a smart guy, but I’m clueless when it comes to the inner workings of the female body. I’m hearing what the doctor is saying, but it’s not processing.
“What exactly are you saying?”
Looking at my wife again, waiting for one of them to explain, I see the tears pooling in her eyes.
Dr. Townsend speaks first. “In my professional opinion, based on your wife’s medical history, this pregnancy is extremely dangerous. I would advise terminating the pregnancy.”
Madelyn’s eyes close and a solitary tear falls.
Fuck. This. Shit.
Standing, I reach for Madelyn’s hand. Once I help her down from the table, I turn to the doctor. With as much calm as I can possibly fucking muster right now, I tell her as politely as possible, “Thank you for your professional opinion, but we’ll be seeking a second opinion elsewhere.”
Without waiting for a response, I leave the room pulling my wife behind me.
How dare she fucking suggest Madelyn “terminate” the pregnancy after flipping through her medical records for less than two minutes. Madelyn has already lost two babies and that bitch wants her to willingly sentence another to death. Fuck that! Madelyn would never consider it and I would never ask her to.
I won’t accept that as our only option.
The only thing out of that woman’s mouth that I do accept is the fact that this baby is a miracle.
She’s absolutely right about that.
Our little miracle deserves a chance to live, and parents willing to fight for that chance.