Chapter Four
On the way back to the house, I stopped by the grocery store and loaded up on pop tarts, along with other essentials, at least as much as I could carry. Might as well start off on the right foot with Amber. I didn’t have the strength that all shifters had, I figured that would come after my first shift. So, by the time I reached the house, my arms felt like they were about to fall off from carrying the groceries. I managed to open the door without dropping anything and lugged everything into the kitchen. Amber must have heard all the noise I was making and came out to investigate.
“You got groceries?” She asked, while trying to subtly investigate the bags.
“Just a few important items.” I pulled out the first pop tart box, then the remaining five, and looked to Amber to see her reaction. Her jaw had dropped open and she suddenly sprang across the small kitchen and took all but one box into her arms.
“I’ll pay you for these,” She was backing away slowly like I was going to take them away from her. I hid my grin and shook my head.
“No, I bought them for you.” I waved off her offer.
“Why?” She asked with narrowed eyes. Geesh, someone was suspicious.
“Because you like them?” I offered.
“You didn’t have to,” she was slightly less skeptical while still backing away.
“I wanted to. Besides, I don’t know if I can take another heart attack morning with you and Clint crashing through the house over them.” A small laugh escaped at the memory. “You really do like your pop tarts, huh?”
“Clint knows that. He grew up with me but still thinks he can steal them and not face any consequences.” She shrugged. “I remind him that they’re mine when necessary.”
“I see.” I cleared my throat to smother my laugh. Amber grinned and then broke out laughing.
“You probably think I’m nuts, huh?”
Laughing, I replied, “No, I’m glad you have a brother to harass. Makes me miss home. Brody was always the jokester at home, but he’s away at training now.”
“That Enforcer Training for wolves?”
“Yeah, that.” I worked on putting groceries away as we talked.
“That where your wolf boy is too?”
“Cade,” I sighed. “Yeah he’s there too.”
“Isn’t that like a life sentence?” She was opening one box, while holding the others in a death grip. She somehow managed to open one packaging and munch on one pop tart while keeping her focus on me.
“God no.” I shuddered. “From what I understand, it’s five years. Then they can return to their pack. Supposedly with more knowledge and understanding of the world.”
Amber scoffed. “Yeah, right. More like a little more brainwashed than they were before.” Though I agreed with her, I didn’t want to show my doubts openly about the High Council.
“Cade and Brody aren’t like that. They won’t fall in line with the High Council.” I stubbornly refused to believe that Cade or Brody would be tainted by their experience. They both were good people and I didn’t want to see them hurt in any way.
Amber regarded me slowly. “Time will tell.” She looked down at the pop tarts. “Thanks for these.”
“Sure.” I replied. She started backing out of the room again and I remembered my encounter with Carver. “Hey Amber?”
She looked up at me. “Yeah?”
“Do you think we can start on some of those concentration techniques you mentioned? I’d like to get a handle on some of this shifter stuff.”
“Yeah, sure.” She brightened. “Clint and the boys will probably be out tonight since they will be working the next two days. We can work on it tonight after supper.”
“Great, that sounds great.” I smiled and she nodded before leaving the kitchen with her armful of pop tarts. I put away the rest of the groceries and looked around the room. If the boys were going to be gone, and it was just Amber and me, I could probably fix a meal big enough for the two of us.
“Hey Amber, what do you think about pasta tonight?”
“Sounds great,” came her mumbled response. I pursed my lips to hide my laughter because I was pretty sure she was stuffing her face with pop tarts. I shook my head and grabbed the necessary ingredients and started on the meal. Amber came out shortly after that and helped me prepare the sides. We didn’t talk much, just casual conversation to pass the time until things were ready. As we sat down to eat, I wanted to know more about their world.
“So, is there anything different about your life growing up as a panther that would be really different from a wolf’s?”
“Sure, a lot of things.” She shrugged while wrapping her fork in pasta. I waited a moment for her to swallow before following up.
“Like?” I prompted, while taking a bite of my own food.
“Like we don’t have a pack, like a wolf would. Just our immediate family. Funds are pretty minimal because there are limitations as to what career choice we can make and-”
“Wait, what? I thought you were biochem major?” That, to me, seemed like a really important job. And what was that about limitations to career choices?
“Unofficially.” She shrugged. “My council application reads undecided.”
‘What council application?” I was completely lost.
“You didn’t have to fill one out?” She asked with a surprised look.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I answered honestly.
“Figures.” She scoffed. “In order for any one of us non-wolf shifters to attend post-secondary education, we have to apply to the council with our intended major, or at least decide after the first year.”
“Just so they can keep an eye on everyone?” I asked. Well, I guess it wasn’t everyone. Just non-wolves.
“So, they can veto anyone with high aspirations and ensure the masses remain in positions that don’t pay well or have less influence.” Well, that was a load of crap, I thought.
“So how do you think you’ll get away with your major?”
“I’m going to sell it as a lowly tech assistant that doesn’t do anything more than clean the lab equipment in a low-budget research facility.” Wow, she really had thought that out.
“And they won’t look into that?” I asked curiously.
“If I keep my head down and don’t make a name for myself,” she shrugged, moving her food around her plate. “Sure. They wouldn’t have a reason to look into me personally.”
“That’s so unfair though,” I argued. The whole application part and the risk of being denied what you wanted to do in life. How could the High Council get away with that? “You should be able to do what you want, without someone looking over your shoulder.”
‘I agree, but that’s not the world we live in.” She looked me over before adding, “At least, the world non-wolf shifters live in.”
“I think my future aligns more with you than you think.” I thought out loud.
“Oh please, even if you shift, as long as you aren’t a white wolf, the High Council will lose interest in you and you won’t have anything to worry about. Your life will go on in your perfect society and you won’t look back.”
“You think I could turn a blind eye to how things are for other shifters?” I asked incredulously.
“If you don’t, the High Council will shut you down faster than you can blink. They don’t tolerate up-starters.” She stated matter-of-factly. I couldn’t believe how nonchalant she was about everything. How long has this system been in place to have everyone just accept it for what it was?
“Surely there are other wolves out there that could speak out on your behalf. Or for other shifters?”
“Look, I know you’re new to all this, but you have to understand this is the way things have been for nearly 200 years. It’s not going to change.”
“And if the prophecy comes true? What then?” I asked and she eyed me for a long moment before responding.
“If you really are the white latent, then all hell’s going to break loose. The other shifters will rally, with you as the mascot, so to speak, and we will have a revolution.” She paused before adding softly, “people will die. There’s no avoiding that.” She took a huge bite of her pasta like it didn’t upset her at all. I pushed my plate away. I couldn’t do this, I thought. I wouldn’t be responsible for people losing their lives.
“But, think of the upside,” Amber added. “If we win, we can push the reset button on the council. Totally restructure it to represent ALL of us and lay down new rules.”
“You make it sound so easy.” All I could think about was the bloodshed and loss that would ensue if I learned to shift. Maybe it would be better if I couldn’t. But a small part of me ached at that thought. To never know my wolf. Never be able to run with my pack. I rubbed my chest where the ache filtered from.
“Hardly.” Amber responded, pulling my back to our conversation. “If it ever came to that, it would take our entire lifetime to put in place. We might see peace by the time we are fifty, if we lived that long,” she laughed at her own joke. I certainly didn’t see the humor. “The non-wolf shifters are so disorganized it would take time and a lot of effort to get everyone on the same page. Someone would have to step up to the plate and lead them.”
“You volunteering?” I teased, trying to lighten the mood.
“Hell no,” she exclaimed. Laughing she added, “I’d be the last one for that. You’d need someone level-headed and willing to hear everyone out. I’ll be the first to admit, I’m way biased when it comes to wolves. Personally, I’d like to see them get the same treatment the rest of us have dealt with over the years. No offense.” She smirked at me.
“None taken.” I couldn’t disagree with her. Thought I wouldn’t be so quick to lump all wolves together. Just like humans, there were bad and good all mixed up in one society.
She finished her plate and looked at my uneaten one. “You going to eat that?” I pushed my plate over to her and watched as she polished off my plate in record time.
“What other things are different?” I asked, getting back to our original conversation.
“Um, we don’t have gatherings. I’ve heard about your wolf parties. They have pack conferences in la-ti-da expensive places where you can all showoff who’s better than who.”
“I’ve never heard of them.” I commented.
“There’s one at the end of the month, from what I hear. I think it’s up in British Columbia or something. Lots of forest to roam there.”
“And non-wolves are never invited?” I figured I knew the answer and Amber confirmed my suspicions.
“Are you kidding me? No way. If one of us showed up, just because, we wouldn’t be let in and escorted out so fast, our tails would be on fire. Then there would for sure be some repercussions on that shifter’s family in the weeks to come for ‘trying to be more than we are’ or some such bullshit.”
“I see.” I was really starting to hate my wolf heritage if all Amber said was true.
“But we do have smaller gatherings with neighbors that help us mingle and spread news.” She looked at me with a grin. “That’s how we heard about you so fast.”
“Yeah, from what I remember, my being a latent was supposed to be kept within the High Council chambers. It would be interesting to know who leaked that information.”
“Someone who wanted to give the other shifters hope, that’s for sure.” She picked up our dishes and placed them in the dishwasher before turning back to me. “Now, how about some shifting starter tips?”
“Yeah, absolutely.” There was still a small part of me that was holding out that Elder Nicolas was wrong, and I was just an ordinary shifter.
“Great, let’s move outside, cause it’s closer to nature and all that.” She looked at me and grinned. “You’ll probably need all the help you can get.”
“Gee, thanks.”I replied sarcastically.
She moved toward the back of the house and out the door where I followed. I really hadn’t had much time to explore the backyard and I was surprised it was as big as it was for the size of the house. However, the neighbors were still within hearing distance.
“Wait, what about the neighbors?” I asked, looking around.
“Oh, don’t worry about them. This row of houses is owned by shifters. It’s the only way we were able to rent this house for what we did.”
“And that doesn’t send a red flag to the High Council?”
“Why would it?” She shrugged. “It’s a college town and many shifters from the area send their kids here for school. It’s a low-key joint effort that saves us money and allows shifters housing close to the forest.” She nodded at the woods behind them.
“I see.” I nodded in return.
“Come on, sit down and let’s get started.” I sat down on the ground across from her and settled my arms on my bent legs.
“So, first things first. Have you felt or sensed anything different lately?” Amber asked. At first, I drew a blank. Not sure what she was getting at. But then I thought about her question and realized small changes over the past few months.
“Well, my senses are heightened. I can hear and smell things far better than I used to.” That actually developed a few months ago when I was hanging out with my pack so much. We didn’t know it at the time, but it was my shifter genes surfacing.
“That’s great. How long has that been happening?” Amber looked eager for my answer.
“A few months after I found out about the McCoy pack, I guess.” I shrugged.
“Okay.” She nodded, considering. “Any increased strength or speed to note?”
“No,” I shook my head. “Those are pretty human normal.”
“Then that is something to keep an eye out for over the coming months and it will help us gauge if we are making progress or not.”
“Do you really think it will take months?” I tried to keep the whine out of my voice, but I wasn’t sure I succeeded. Months seemed like a lifetime, and I was torn between wanting to shift, and wanting to stay the same to keep everyone safe.
“Well, it’s not like we’ll be able to practice all the time. I mean, both of us have studies and jobs to keep up with.”
“True. Right, okay. I just was hoping things would come together faster.”
“You never know. You might be different.” She shrugged.
“I think I have that covered already.” I smirked. Laughing, Amber agreed.
She proceeded to teach me breathing techniques to slow my breathing and calm my nerves. Apparently, this was important in order to center myself and reach my wolf. I felt a bit silly, thinking that was an odd way to go about finding her. I mean, shouldn’t I be able to reach in and coax her out? Amber laughed at that idea.
“No, no. You’re right in thinking that your animal is inside you, but you aren’t separate. You are one and the same, not a split personality.” She scooted closer on the ground, with a gleam in her eye. She seemed to be really enjoying teaching me about shifting. “Think of it as just stepping into another role. Like when you have a personal and professional life. You probably dress and talk differently in a professional setting than you would with friends and family. You and your wolf are just like that. One and the same but fulfilling different roles in your life.”
“Okay,” I nodded and thought more about centering myself. I slowed my breathing, slowly drowning out the noises around me. Cars, music playing in the house, a T.V. blaring next door. Those were easy to ignore. Next came nature. Since my hearing had improved, I think my wolf instincts were coming to the front more often. I could hear animals in the forest and had an uncanny urge to go see what was making the noise.
“So, anything?” Amber asked, breaking my concentration.
“I don’t know.” I opened my eyes and looked at her. “I can ignore the manmade sounds, but anything from nature grabs my full attention.”
“That’s actually really good!” Amber exclaimed. “Your wolf is more prone to listen to nature sounds and want to chase those things then pay attention to anything in a city.”
“So, you think that means my wolf is stronger?” I asked, intrigued.
“I’d say so, but I’m no expert. I’m just guessing here.” She stood up and stretched. “Come on, we’ve probably been out here long enough.”
“It hasn’t been that long,” I protested, but followed suit.
“Almost an hour.” Amber commented, walking back toward the house.
“Really?”I asked surprised.
Laughing, Amber nodded. “Come on. I think Clint bought some ice cream earlier.” She had that gleam in her eyes again.
“For himself?” I grinned, knowing where she was going with this.
“The idiot left it unattended. Besides, he stole my pop tarts.” Amber shrugged unapologetically and jogged into the house. I smiled and with one last glance at the woods behind us and smothering my urge to investigate the sounds, I followed her inside.