Chapter 51
Bea
Standing in the doorway was a very visibly pregnant Elisabetta.
Bea looked at Cal and caught him shooting his brother Sean daggers for letting Elisabetta in without getting his elder brother first.
‘What?’ Sean shrugged. ‘Am I meant to leave a pregnant lady standing outside?’
Cal sighed and stood up from the table. He made his way over to Elisabetta and said something in hushed tones Bea couldn’t make out. Then he led her out of the room.
Bea dropped her gaze to her plate, her hunger having departed. Why had Elisabetta travelled all the way up here, to Cal’s parents’ home on the Kintyre Peninsula? You didn’t make all that effort unless you really needed to make someone understand.
‘Are you okay?’ Cara asked from the other side of Eilidh, her face drawn with concern.
Bea knew that Cara wasn’t a fan of Elisabetta, but it didn’t make the slightest bit of difference if Elisabetta was the most unpopular woman in the world; she was still probably carrying the child of the man Bea was in love with, and that meant she had a hold on him that Bea could not have.
What had Bea been thinking? That she was the sort of woman who could cope with this scenario?
Or even more ridiculous: that she wasn’t in love with Cal at all and that the no-strings affair they’d agreed on was working out?
She’d been such an idiot, she truly had.
And now, here she was, trapped at a family dinner – a highly personal affair, seeing as Jimmy Butler was unwell – with the family of the man she was head over heels in love with while he discussed who knew what with the mother of his child somewhere else in the house.
She had to get out of here. But this wasn’t her party, and she shouldn’t make a scene. So, fixing the politest of smiles on her face, Bea said to Cara, ‘Oh, I’m doing great, thank you. It was so nice of Cal to invite me here to your father’s celebration.’
It was negligible whether Cara was convinced, but to stem any further questioning, Bea took a sip of her wine and turned her attention back to her meal.
‘This is so delicious,’ she said to her plate. She truly was enjoying the meal but directing the comment at anyone in particular would mean looking at them, and if she did that they would see tears begging to be unleashed.
Unfortunately, Bea caught the eye of Cal’s brother Jamie and she could have sworn shades of sympathy passed across his face.
Nausea swept in. This was the last thing she needed: Cal’s family pitying her.
She finished her food, then turned to Eilidh and said, ‘If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to freshen up. ’
Out in the cool air of the hall, Bea was emboldened.
She had fully intended to pop to the restroom for five minutes, but now she was out of the dining room, the hardest part was surely over.
The part where she got away from Cal’s family.
She’d made it out without creating any histrionics; nobody was offended, and neither was Cal’s father upstaged.
But now she had to do something for herself.
Get out of here. Get away from Cal’s family home, away from Kinshore, from the Kintyre Peninsula, away from Scotland.
Bea was fully decided. She was going back home.
Proper home, that was. Not to the chilly flat in Edinburgh, except to get her things.
No, she was heading back to where she belonged, back to New York City.
The tricky part would be leaving this remote location without enlisting the help of anyone or alerting Cal, who would surely try to change her mind. But Bea had a plan.
She crept up the stairs and into Cal’s room, found his keys on the dresser, made her way back to her own room, changed into jeans and a hoodie, then grabbed her holdall and headed down the back stair to the car.
All the while, her heart was thundering in her chest as she knew she could get caught at any moment.
She had no idea how long Cal would be engaged in talking to Elisabetta, but as soon as he found her missing, he would surely come to find her.
She knew he’d be worried, but she couldn’t stay here a moment longer.
So, by way of compromise, Bea found a pad of paper in a drawer in the bedroom and wrote a note.
Dear Cal, I am sorry, but I have had to leave.
Please don’t come after me. It isn’t what I want you to do, and you won’t change my mind.
I know we had an arrangement, but I think it’s time we both focused on the things that are most important: my writing and your impending child.
I’ve taken your car and for that I apologise, but I will leave it in Edinburgh.
Thank you so much for showing me Scotland.
I’ve fallen in love with the place and leaving is a wrench I never anticipated being so difficult.
But I must go and look to the future. Thank you once again.
I will never forget you or the hospitality you have shown me. All my love, Bea xxx.
Bea wiped a tear away as she folded the note and scrawled Cal’s name on the blank side of the paper. She knew that she was taking the coward’s way out, but she couldn’t risk having her mind changed. She deserved better than being second best.
As she slid out the back entrance of the house and across the gravel towards the car, a sideswipe of guilt hit Bea.
Cal was good to her; his family were good to her.
And here she was repaying him by stealing his car.
But what else could she do? If she went back indoors and told him she wanted to leave, not only would she be causing a scene, but he would inevitably try to stop her. And she couldn’t allow that to happen.
It was difficult enough driving on the left-hand side of country roads, not to mention in the dark with no streetlights, but compounded by the tears blurring Bea’s vision made this one dangerous escape mission.
And so ridiculous, she considered, that she was running from the most wonderful man she’d ever known.
Women didn’t run from men like Cal Butler; they ran towards them, and that’s what made her, Bea Gracie, such an absolute fool.
How had she got herself into this situation?
She’d come here to mend a broken heart, and she would head home with another fracture, except this one was bigger and deeper than the last, and she wasn’t sure how she would heal this time as there would be no running away to escape the pain.
The simple act of running home would have to be enough and Bea hoped, as she got miles and miles further away from Cal and Kinshore village, that by focusing on her writing she could push him from her mind and her memory forever.