15. Todd
TODD
Iwoke up to the smell of bacon.
For a moment, I didn't know where I was.
Then I felt the unfamiliar mattress beneath me and heard cabinets opening and closing somewhere down the hall.
Cici.
A smile tugged at my mouth. I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling for a second.
The events of yesterday came rushing back. Meeting Grammy at the nursing home. The expression on Cici's face during her confession. And the way she'd finally let me see beneath the carefully controlled version of herself she showed the world.
Eventually, I pushed myself out of bed and pulled on my jeans.
My shirt was draped across the dresser.
I grabbed it and headed toward the kitchen barefoot. Halfway there, I slipped on my shirt. The kitchen fell suspiciously quiet. I glanced up as my fingers worked the first button.
Cici was standing at the stove holding a spatula. Her gaze was fixed somewhere around my chest. The second she realized I'd caught her looking, her cheeks turned pink.
A slow grin spread across my face.
"Morning, like what you see?" I gestured to my bare chest.
She rolled her eyes.
"Your ego doesn't need any encouragement."
"Too late."
Her lips twitched.
I counted that as a victory.
The kitchen felt warm and lived-in, sunlight spilling through the windows overlooking the lake. A pot of coffee sat on the counter while bacon sizzled in a pan.
So domestic.
I wasn't sure I'd ever wanted anything so simple.
"Sit down," she said.
"Yes, ma'am."
She pointed the spatula at me.
"Don't start."
I laughed and slid into one of the chairs.
A few minutes later she set a plate in front of me.
French toast, bacon, and fresh fruit. I looked up.
"You made all this?"
"I know. Try not to be too impressed."
"I already am."
Something soft flickered across her face. The kind of look a man could get addicted to. We ate in comfortable silence for a few minutes.
It was Cici who finally broke it.
"Can I ask you something?"
"You can ask me anything."
She took a sip of coffee.
"Naomi told me you call her Bunny because of 4-H?"
I smiled despite myself.
"I think she was in sixth grade when I gave her that nickname."
Cici set her mug down.
"My sister, Emma," I couldn't help but to smile, "and Naomi were in 4-H together. They showed French Lop rabbits every year at the county fair."
"That sounds like fun."
I nodded.
"Everything revolved around those damn rabbits. That's all they ever talked about."
For a second, I considered changing the subject. It would have been easier. Instead, I leaned back in my chair.
"My sister and Bunny were best friends growing up. They were practically attached at the hip."
Cici didn't interrupt, she just watched me. Closely.
"You know, those rabbits are huge." I took a sip of my coffee.
"Are they?"
I nodded.
"They loved those rabbits. Every conversation somehow came back to them."
Cici smiled.
I found myself smiling too.
"Emma wasn't nearly as obsessed as Naomi. One day I got tired of hearing about it and started calling Naomi Bunny."
"Just to annoy her?"
"Mostly."
"What did she think?"
"She hated it."
Cici laughed.
"I don't believe that."
"Trust me. She hated it."
"Clearly not enough to stop answering to it."
"Fair point."
The smile slowly faded from my face.
"Eventually it just stuck."
Cici's expression softened.
I stared down at my coffee.
"Emma and Bunny were seniors in college when Emma went to visit her for the weekend."
The kitchen grew quiet.
I could feel the weight of her eyes on me.
"I was twenty-nine at the time."
I swallowed.
"Once I was back from the Army, I worked my ass off building my company."
A humorless laugh escaped me.
"I thought every problem in the world could be solved if I just worked harder."
Cici nodded in understanding.
"I missed a lot of things back then."
I stared out the window.
"Birthdays."
"Family dinners."
"Holidays."
The list was longer than I cared to admit.
"My mom planned a birthday dinner for my dad. Emma was leaving the next morning to go visit Bunny."
I rubbed a hand across the back of my neck.
"I promised I'd be there."
Cici already knew how this ended.
I could see it in her eyes.
"Investors flew into town."
I laughed quietly.
"Back then if someone wanted a meeting, I dropped everything."
The memory still made my stomach twist.
"I got to my parents' house over an hour late."
I looked down at my plate.
"Everyone had already eaten."
Cici stayed silent.
The way she always seemed to know when silence mattered.
"Emma was angry."
I nodded once.
"She had every right to be."
"What happened?"
I stared at the lake.
"We argued."
The words felt heavier than they should after all these years.
"She said I cared more about work than family."
A muscle jumped in my jaw.
"I told her she didn't understand what it took to build a company."
The shame still lingered.
Ten years later.
"She told me one day I'd realize none of it mattered as much as I thought it did."
I let out a slow breath.
"I told her to grow up."
Cici closed her eyes.
Just for a second.
As if she could feel the regret sitting between us.
"Those were the last words I ever said to her."
The silence that followed felt endless.
"She left the next morning."
My throat tightened.
"About two hours into the drive, a truck crossed the center line."
I looked down at my hands.
"She never made it to Bunny's campus."
Cici reached across the table and covered my hand with hers.
The simple touch nearly undid me.
For years I'd carried this story around like a stone.
I rarely talked about it.
Hell, I rarely thought about it if I could help it.
But sitting here with Cici, it didn't feel quite so heavy.
"I never got to apologize."
My voice came out rough.
"I kept telling myself I'd call her after work."
I shook my head.
"There was always time later."
Cici squeezed my hand.
"Todd."
I looked up.
Her eyes were shining. Not with pity. With understanding.
Maybe that was worse. Or better. I wasn't sure.
"I think about that dinner all the time."
I laughed quietly.
"Not about the accident or the funeral.The dinner."
I looked down at our joined hands.
"The stupid argument."
Cici's thumb brushed across my knuckles.
"I think everyone has a moment like that."
I swallowed.
"Maybe."
Neither of us spoke for a while.
The lake sparkled outside the windows.
The coffee grew cold.
And somehow sitting there felt more intimate than anything we'd done in bed.
Eventually I glanced at my watch.
"I should probably get going."
Her expression fell slightly. I had to admit. Her reaction pleased me.
"Hey, wait. Isn't today Sunday? What happened to Sunday Mornings With Monty?"
"One of the other financial commentators was scheduled to do the segment this morning."
The corner of her mouth lifted.
Finally, we both laughed.
An hour later I stood in her driveway.
"I'll call you later."
"Okay."
I stepped closer.
Close enough to touch. Close enough to kiss. For a heartbeat, I considered giving in to the pull that seemed to grow stronger every time I was near her.
Instead, I reached up and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. The simple gesture felt oddly intimate, and more personal than a kiss might have been.
"Take care of yourself, Cici."
"You too."
For a second neither of us moved.
Then I forced myself toward my car. I climbed inside and started the engine. A few minutes later I reached the end of her road. Something caught my attention. A black SUV sat parked beneath a cluster of trees near the shoulder.
I frowned.
The windows were tinted. The vehicle looked vaguely familiar.
Maybe it was nothing. Probably nothing.
Still...
For a brief second I thought I recognized the man behind the wheel.
My grip tightened on the steering wheel.
Before I could get a better look, the SUV pulled away and disappeared around the bend.
I stared after it.
An uneasy feeling settled in my gut.
Then I shook it off and continued toward Charlotte.
The farther I drove, the harder it became to ignore the uneasy feeling settling over me.