Chapter fourteen
LOGAN
Five days passed in a blur. I was so captivated by the new laboratory where I was continuing my research that I spent my entire days at the hospital.
I’d leave the Holloways’ house very early, before anyone else was awake. I confess, before slipping out of the room, my eyes would always drift involuntarily toward Evelyn. I wasn't made of stone, and I had to admit, infuriating as she was, she stirred something in me.
Afterwards, I’d pause at the girls’ bedroom door and watch them for a moment.
God, when they were asleep, they seemed so much easier to handle.
Sometimes I’d catch myself noticing how beautiful they were, wondering how I could have had a hand in creating two such perfect little creatures.
I wished I could interact with them more when they were awake, but it felt like a task for which I was fundamentally unequipped.
So I’d leave without breakfast and stay at the hospital until nightfall, returning so late that everyone was already in bed.
The Holloways usually arrived at the hospital after me, and I’d make a point of stopping by their offices to say hello. It was the polite thing to do, considering they were housing me.
Then, I’d bury myself in the lab. As usual, I lost all track of time. I’d order lunch delivery around four in the afternoon, and before I knew it, it was past ten p.m.
But I still intended to stay longer. I took a break, grabbed a coffee from the machine, and sat at my desk to check my email, waiting for some reports and data the Los Angeles hospital still needed to send.
However, when I opened my inbox, it wasn't that email that grabbed my attention, but one from another lab entirely—the clinic where the girls and I had given samples for the DNA test.
The results were in, sent as I’d requested.
I hovered my mouse over the file, feeling an unexpected tremor of trepidation.
But why?
The truth was, even though I’d never been in love with Eleanor, I had liked her.
As a companion, a sexual partner, but mostly, as a friend—or as close to one as I got from anyone outside my family.
Because of that, I felt I had no reason to doubt her letter.
Besides, Anna and Aurora looked so much like me.
Ellie would have had to find some long-lost twin of mine to have daughters who were my mirror image.
The test was just a bureaucratic step to formalize paternity. I already knew the result would be positive.
Yet, with that confirmation just a click away, a torrent of questions flooded my mind. Among them, of course, was the possibility of a negative result.
And it was strange to realize I felt a genuine fear of that. If those girls weren’t my daughters…
“Could I get a fake exam saying they are?” I thought aloud. The moment the words left my mouth, I felt a flush of shame. “No, of course I wouldn’t do that,” I muttered to the empty room.
But… what if they weren’t mine? Would I have to find Ellie and return them to her, removing them from my life for good?
Just the thought sent a sharp, unbearable pang of anguish through my chest.
Of course they were my daughters. I would find Ellie, but I would remain a part of Aurora and Anna’s lives.
I would remain? I wasn't being very present as it was. Not as much as I should be.
I grabbed my phone, suddenly needing to talk to someone.
I thought of my mother, but she’d probably have a mini-freakout and tell me to just open the file and face the situation.
I thought of Sebastian. My older brother had been my greatest advisor when we were younger. But I couldn’t bother him now, not when his wife was in the hospital, her life hanging by a thread.
So, I called the one person who, at any other point in my life, would never have been an option for advice on anything more serious than what drinks to buy for a party.
“Logan?” Michael answered, his tone laced with confusion and a hint of worry. After all, he was usually the one calling me.
“The DNA results are in, Mike,” I said, my eyes glued to the computer screen.
“Okay… So what’s up?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t opened them yet.”
“And what are you waiting for?”
“I don’t know. I just… I’m feeling tense about it.”
“Look, to be perfectly honest, those little girls are your carbon copies. I’d be shocked if they weren’t yours. Especially one of them…”
“What do you mean, ‘especially one of them’? They’re identical twins.”
“But one of them has that permanently irritated look. That grumpy little face… it’s exactly like yours when we were kids, Logan.”
He laughed, and I tried to picture my childhood photos. He was right; I had been a perpetually sullen child, just like Anna.
“When you found out about Alice…” I began again. “Were you ever afraid the DNA test would be negative? Or were you afraid it would be positive?”
“Are you crazy? If it had been negative, I would’ve fled the country with Alice. I’d already known her for almost two months by then, and I loved her more than anything. Are you scared?”
“I think so.”
“Which one? That it’s negative, or that it’s positive?”
“The first one. And maybe the second one, too. But… about it being positive, it’s not exactly fear, it’s just…”
“That it makes it all real,” he finished for me. “That’s when it truly hits you that you’re responsible for another life. For two lives, in your case.”
“I’m going to be a terrible father, Mike.”
“Where did you get that idea? Of course you won’t.”
“I’m an absent son and brother. Why would I be any different as a father?”
“You want to talk about being a bad son? Mom spent my entire childhood and adolescence getting calls from the school because of me. In college, I was a troublemaker—I even ended up in a police station a few times. Then I dropped out of architecture school and did nothing but party.”
“Right… Maybe only Sebastian was the exemplary son.”
“He was. But you? You were always her pride and joy. The one with the best grades, the hardest worker. But then you went to college, and your life became all about medicine.”
“I need you to understand, it’s not exactly like that.”
“When our father died, you were there. When I needed you a few months ago, you were there for me, too. None of us doubt that you love us, Logan. But life isn’t just about showing up for the bad times.
You need to be there for the good ones, too.
Especially with your daughters. Otherwise, you’ll blink, and they’ll be grown up without any good memories of you from their childhood. ”
“Like us with our father.”
“Just like the three of us with our father.”
“I’m not good with kids, Mike. I don’t even know how to start a conversation with them. They call me ‘silly.’”
He laughed. “They don’t know you yet. Give it time. And approach them in your own way.”
“I’ll try. And I’ll stop procrastinating and open this thing. I’ll text you the result.”
“No need. I already know what it is. And so do you. But if there’s some crazy twist and it comes back negative, I’ll help you smuggle them out of the country.”
I laughed, a real, genuine one. “Okay. I’ll remember that.”
We said goodbye, and I ended the call, my focus returning to the screen. I took a deep, steadying breath and clicked on the attached file.
There it was. The result was exactly what I had expected.
Still, I couldn’t stop the tears that welled in my eyes.