Chapter Sixteen
LOGAN
I dropped Evelyn and the girls off at a Christmas tree farm.
I’d assumed they would just pick up an artificial tree at a department store, but Evelyn seemed determined to do things the traditional way. The place was packed, and it was clear they’d be there a while.
At the hospital lab, I usually dove straight into work. But today was different.
Maybe it was the flood of memories from that morning, but before I knew it, I was pulling up my younger brother’s contact on my phone.
He answered within the first few rings, his voice laced with a worry that was unusual for him. “Logan? What’s wrong?”
“Why does something have to be wrong?” I asked, sinking into an armchair.
“You’re calling me. In the morning. And for the second day in a row.”
I couldn’t blame him for being shocked. I’d been keeping up with Bonnie’s condition via text—he’d send the daily update, and I’d reply with a simple ‘thanks, keep me posted.’ A phone call was out of the ordinary.
“I don’t call more because things are just hectic here,” I explained, falling back on my usual excuse. “I haven’t been seeing patients, but this research is crucial for the directorship.”
“I thought the job was already yours. You quit your job in L.A.”
Telling the whole truth would sound arrogant.
I’d resigned knowing I could get my old job back anytime, and even if I couldn’t, offers from other hospitals—both here and abroad—were never a concern.
I knew it would take a catastrophe for NYCH to rescind their offer; it was just a matter of bureaucracy.
But the directorship would demand everything from me, and I wanted to make as much progress on my research as I could before then.
“My job is demanding, Mike,” I said, the familiar refrain feeling hollow even to me.
“Well, it’s not the same, but I’m the CEO of the country’s largest architecture firm. It’s not a walk in the park, either. I still find time to call my brothers.”
It wasn’t even close to the same, but Michael would never understand. There was no point in arguing.
So, I got to the real reason for my call. “I wanted to call Sebastian, but I know he’s overwhelmed. I could call Mom, but she’d just lecture me longer than you would. So… I’m calling you. How’s Bonnie?”
“Her condition is stable,” he said, and the pause that followed was heavy. “But ‘stable’ isn’t good right now, is it?”
“No… it’s not.”
“Sebastian is shattered. I don’t know what’s harder to see when I’m at the hospital—him, or Bonnie’s mother. Now that I’m a father, I can’t even imagine being in her shoes.”
It was still strange to hear Michael speak with such gravity. The irresponsible party animal was gone, replaced by a mature man, a father and a husband. Fatherhood had fundamentally changed him.
I thought of Anna and Aurora. They were my daughters.
And a part of me was still struggling to face that reality. Maybe it was a defense mechanism against panic. Maybe it was cowardice. Or maybe my family was right, and I was just so addicted to my work that everything else faded into the background.
Or, perhaps, as the twins and Evelyn had so bluntly put it… I was just a big fool.
“Camila’s at the hospital now,” Michael continued. “I’m with Alice, but we’ll switch shifts this afternoon. Mom will stay the night. Sebastian refuses to leave, so the three of us are taking turns so he’s not alone.”
“That’s tough. I’m sorry I can’t be there to help.” I meant it. As absent as I was, I genuinely wished I could be there for Sebastian.
“We’re managing. Yesterday, Mom came a bit early, and Camila and I took Alice to get our Christmas tree. With everything going on, and especially with Camila pregnant, we want this to be special for Alice.”
“A Christmas tree…” I repeated, my mind drifting.
“It had been years since I’d decorated one. Not since we were kids.”
“Yeah… Mom always went all out.”
“She did it for us. Now it’s our turn to do it for our kids, right? I thought it would be a chore, but it was actually… fun. Alice was mesmerized by the lights.”
“Evelyn took the girls to get a tree today.”
“Seriously? Aren’t you staying at your future bosses’ house?”
“We are, but they left this morning and told us to decorate the place.”
“That’s… not what I don’t understand, Logan.”
“Then what is?”
“Evelyn took your daughters to get a Christmas tree. What I don’t understand is why you aren’t with them.”
I didn't have a simple answer for Michael. Suddenly, my usual excuse—that I needed to be at work—felt flimsy and utterly insufficient.
I didn't need to think about it for long to realize that being in that lab wasn't more important than being at a Christmas tree farm, choosing a tree with Anna and Aurora.
…And even with Evelyn.