Chapter Eighteen
LOGAN
My back was killing me.
Sleeping on the floor was systematically destroying my spine. If the other rooms in this mansion weren't locked, I would have commandeered a proper bed days ago.
I got up early, as usual, and stood for a moment watching Evelyn sleep peacefully. It was absurd that she had that huge, comfortable bed all to herself.
Then again, maybe it was for the best. Sharing that space with her without being able to touch her would be its own special kind of torture.
She aroused desire in me, and now I could admit she’d also earned my sympathy. I could almost say I liked her.
Almost.
If only she weren't so infuriatingly adept at pointing out my every flaw.
Even if she was right about most of them. Maybe all of them.
Shaking off the thought, I showered and changed. But today, instead of heading straight to the hospital, I decided to hit the private gym in the house. I hadn't worked out in weeks, and I hoped some exercise would help my aching back.
After a solid hour, I walked into the living room and found Evelyn holding two pairs of children's socks while the girls, barefoot, ran from one sofa to the other, gleefully turning her into their personal clown.
Well, well. The tables had turned.
"If you don't come put these socks on right now, you're both going outside in slippers!" she threatened.
It was useless. Anna and Aurora paid her no mind.
"Authority issues?" I teased.
Evelyn looked up, noticing me for the first time. For a brief moment, her eyes seemed to scan my arms, exposed by my workout tank. I almost teased her about the view, but held my tongue because of the children.
She gave a slight shake of her head, as if to clear it, and then replied, "They have their defiant moments. Even with me."
"So I see."
"I thought you'd already left for the hospital."
"Decided to get a workout in first," I said. "And where are you three off to?"
"The first installment of my... services... hit my account today. I need to go to the bank to sort some things out."
"Can't you handle it online or over the phone?"
"No. This requires an in-person visit."
"But does it have to be today? It's three days until Christmas; the streets are a nightmare.
I thought you'd be decorating the tree." I pointed at the monstrous pine we'd bought.
It looked even worse indoors, surrounded by boxes of ornaments and a tangled nest of lights.
I seriously doubted any amount of decoration could save it.
"That's exactly why I need to go now, before the banks close for the holiday. We'll decorate when I get back."
"And why take the girls? It's freezing. It looks like it might snow."
"Unless you're taking them to the hospital with you, I don't have a choice."
I considered it for a moment. A bank would be incredibly boring for them. And taking them to a hospital lab was out of the question, especially given their hyperactive state this morning—they'd destroy the place.
I'd been leaving all the childcare to Evelyn. Maybe it was time I started pulling my weight.
"I can go to the hospital later," I suggested. "I'll stay with them while you're at the bank and leave when you get back."
She raised a skeptical eyebrow. "And that won't delay your urgent research?"
"My research is well ahead of schedule, to be honest." And being ahead of schedule, to me, was the only acceptable standard. Delays were not a concept I entertained.
"You're sure?" Evelyn gestured to the girls, who were now wrestling on the carpet. "They woke up with enough energy to power this entire building."
"Yes, I'm sure. Go handle your business. I've got them."
"Alright, then. For starters, get them to put their socks on. It's not as cold in here as outside, but it's still good to protect their feet."
She came closer and held out the socks. As I reached for them, my fingers brushed against hers, and a small, undeniable jolt of electricity passed between us.
It had to be madness.
Evelyn seemed to feel it, too, because she quickly pulled her hands back, shoving them into her coat pockets.
"Girls, I'm leaving," she announced. "You're staying with your father. Be good and try not to burn the house down."
Neither of them responded. Aurora didn't even look at her, so she had no idea she was being spoken to. Anna seemed to be actively ignoring her.
"Good luck..." Evelyn said to me, before heading out the door.
I looked back at the girls. I was going to need all the luck I could get.
"Hey, how about we put your socks on?" I said and was promptly ignored. I tried again, "Girls, you need to put your socks on."
They kept running, chasing each other in a dizzying loop.
"Girls!" I said, my voice rising. Then I was practically shouting. "Girls! Stop! Now! ...Anna, stop!"
My final shout was loud enough to make Anna freeze and look at me. Aurora, running behind her, bumped into her back, and only then stopped smiling and noticed I was yelling.
"Why are you yelling at me?" Anna demanded, her voice a mix of annoyance and anger.
"I was yelling for both of you," I replied, "because you didn't listen when I spoke normally."
"Rory can't hear you, loud or soft, silly!"
That damned name-calling again. Would we ever move past it?
“I was calling you,” I replied, keeping my voice level. “Because you can hear.”
“Rory can’t hear, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t understand when you talk to her! You’re the one who doesn’t know how to talk to her properly.”
“I didn’t say Aurora couldn’t understand me. I know she can. I just said that—”
“You do everything wrong!” Anna retorted.
I sighed, defeated. “Okay. Let’s try to do it right, then. I’m sorry for yelling. But you still need to put your socks on.”
“I don’t want to,” Anna said, crossing her arms.
Aurora, however, looked at the socks in my hand and came over. She picked up both pairs, handed the blue ones to her sister, and kept the pink for herself. As Aurora sat on the couch to put hers on, Anna threw hers on the floor.
“I’m not wearing those. And you’re not the boss of me.”
With that, she turned and stormed down the hallway. I heard the slam of their bedroom door and sighed again. This was going to be even harder than I’d thought.
I looked at Aurora, who was watching me curiously as she pulled on her second sock.
“Your sister is… very difficult, isn’t she?”
Aurora responded, but she did it the only way she knew how: with her hands. And I didn’t understand a single gesture.
“I’m sorry, Rory. I don’t understand. I’m not like Evelyn.”
She signed again, more emphatically, and again, it was a mystery to me.
“How can I be a good father?” I muttered, more to myself than to her. “I can’t even talk to you. And apparently, I can’t talk to Anna, either.”
Aurora’s face fell, her eyes dropping to the floor. I felt like the world’s worst father for making her feel that sadness, and for being powerless to talk her through it.
I stood there, frozen in the middle of the room, my mind racing a million miles a minute but getting absolutely nowhere.
I kept waiting for a message from my lawyer, Janet, with an update from the private investigator searching for Eleanor. So far, nothing.
For days, I’d been asking myself why Ellie left the girls with me. But I realized that was the wrong question. It wasn't the most important one.
They were my daughters, too. Eleanor’s motives didn’t matter. It didn’t matter if she was ever found. Nothing would ever be the same because I was a father now. I needed to be a father to Anna and Aurora, no matter the circumstances.
Aurora stood up and walked over to the Christmas tree, studying it intently. After a moment, she came back, took my hand, and pulled me toward it. She pointed at the tree, then made a series of signs.
From her expression, it seemed like a question. But I was lost.
“You want to know something about the tree?” I asked.
She nodded, then pointed to the boxes of decorations.
“You want to know when we’ll decorate it?
” Another nod. A flicker of stupid pride warmed my chest—we were communicating.
“Today. When Evelyn gets back, she’ll help you and your sister decorate it. ”
She tilted her head, a confused look on her face. Then she pointed directly at me.
“Me? You want to know if I’ll help?” She nodded vigorously. “Well… I have to go to the hospital as soon as Evelyn gets here.”
She pointed at herself, then mimed being lifted onto shoulders, and finally pointed to the top of the tree. And that time, I understood perfectly. She remembered yesterday. She remembered my promise that we would decorate the very top, together.
Without even realizing it, I had made her a promise.
“You know what?” I began. She was still looking at the tree, so I gently waved my hand to catch her attention.
When her eyes met mine, a thought struck me: Anna was right.
I could call her without my voice. I just had to learn how.
“You’re right, Rory. My work is important.
But I think making this tree beautiful is the most important thing I can do today. ”
Her smile was instantaneous. It seemed to light up the entire room, outshining every unopened string of lights we had.