Chapter Thirty-Six
EVELYN
The next day, Logan called the hospital to say he wouldn’t be in until the afternoon. We had something far more important to do.
Logically, we knew it wouldn't change anything, but we still laid out a breakfast table with all their favorite things. As a final touch, Logan hurriedly scrambled some eggs. I thought it was an insignificant detail amidst the pastries and fruit, but he insisted it was essential.
I understood why when the girls came running to the table.
“I want the eggs first!” Anna declared excitedly.
Aurora signed in agreement, adding, “Mommy always makes scrambled eggs in the morning.”
“Why all this?” Anna asked, her eyes narrowing with suspicion. “Is it Christmas again?”
I managed a soft laugh, my heart aching. “No, my love. Next Christmas is still far away. But sometimes it’s nice to have a special breakfast, don’t you think?”
She nodded, satisfied, and they began to eat. Logan and I just watched them, silently wishing the meal would never end.
But it did, and the moment we dreaded arrived. We led them to the living room and sat with them on the sofa.
“So…” Logan began, his voice gentle. “There’s something we need to tell you.”
Aurora was the first to ask, her hands moving quickly. “Are we moving again?”
“Oh, no,” Anna whined. “I love our room.”
“No, we’re not moving,” Logan reassured her. “It’s just…”
“Are we getting a dog?” Anna interrupted, her face brightening. “Evy has a voucher! Is the puppy here?”
For a fleeting moment, I wished we had a puppy to soften the blow. But I knew no distraction could ever lessen this pain.
“It’s not that,” Logan said softly. “We will get a dog, but not today. Please listen, this is very important… It’s about your mother.”
“Mommy?” Anna’s smile was instant and brilliant. “Is she back? Is she coming today?”
Aurora’s face lit up with the same hope. The sight of it was devastating.
I squeezed Logan’s hand. “Love… maybe it’s best if Ellie tells them herself.”
He nodded. “Girls… your mom didn’t come back, but… she sent you a video.”
Four hopeful eyes turned to the television screen. I saw their small hands find each other and clasp tightly.
After a steadying breath, Logan pressed play.
We had watched it the night before, but it shattered me all over again.
When Eleanor’s face appeared, a wave of emotion washed over both girls.
“Hi, my little ones,” she said, her hands moving in time with her words.
“I miss you both so, so much. But we can’t be together again, just the three of us.
And I need to tell you why.” Her voice was tender but firm.
“I need you to be strong and brave, but it’s also okay to be sad and to cry.
Brave people cry, too; they just don’t let the sadness win. Always remember that.”
I looked at the girls. They were already fighting tears, utterly transfixed by their mother’s image.
“Mommy won’t be able to stay with you anymore, even though that’s what I want most in the whole world. Sometimes… bad things happen. Because of that, I have to go on a very, very long trip… and I won’t be able to come back.”
Ellie continued, her love pouring through the screen.
“We will see each other again someday, but it will be a long, long time from now. Until then, I need you to be good girls for your daddy and for Evelyn. I am and always will be your first mommy, but it’s okay to have another and to love her very much, too.
Always take care of each other. And always remember how special you are.
Dream big, my darlings. You can be anything you want.
And when you grow up, never let anyone into your life—a friend or a boyfriend—who doesn’t see how wonderful you are.
Never forget that I love you more than anything.
And even though I’ll be far away, I will always be somewhere, watching over you. ”
When Eleanor stopped speaking, the camera remained focused on her for another two or three seconds, during which tears could be seen welling up in her brown eyes. The video ended, holding on her face for a final, precious moment.
Anna and Aurora slid off the couch and pressed their small hands against the screen.
“Play it again!” Anna cried, looking back at us. “Make Mommy talk again!”
I could no longer hold back my tears. Beside me, Logan was crying, too. Still, he picked up the remote and played the video again.
The girls stood before the television, their little hands tracing their mother’s face, their cries growing more desperate.
“My love...” I began to speak, wondering if we were doing the right thing.
But Anna interrupted me, “Again! Play it again, Evy! Maybe this time she’ll say something different! Maybe she’ll say she’s coming home soon!”
I broke completely, rendered speechless by her raw, hopeful grief.
But Logan took a deep breath and went to them. He knelt, placing a hand on each of their backs. He waited until Aurora looked at him.
“We’re going to be okay,” he whispered. “You are going to be okay.”
Anna shook her head violently. “I don’t want to be okay! I want my mommy! I want her now!”
She tried to push him away, but he was steady, and she finally collapsed into his arms.
“It’s going to be okay,” he murmured again, holding Anna tightly with one arm and reaching out to cup Aurora’s tear-streaked face with his other hand. “You’ll take care of each other… and I will take care of you.”
I went to them, kneeling beside Logan and facing Aurora.
“We will take care of you,” I said.
Rory threw herself into my arms, and I held her as if my love could form a shield against her pain. Logan pulled me close with his free arm, and I saw that, even as they cried, Anna and Aurora never let go of each other’s hands.
And we stayed like that, the four of us, for a long, long time.
Surrounded by sorrow, but held together by love.