Chapter 21
WAYNE
“Come on,” I mutter as the phone keeps ringing. “Pick up.”
It goes to voicemail.
“Shit.” I toss my phone on the desk and lean back in my chair, blowing through my lips.
Don’t panic, I try to tell myself, but it’s easier said than done. Katie hasn’t picked up a call or responded to a text in almost three days. Maybe she just needs a bit of space, but I’ve been crawling out of my skin over here.
She hasn’t shown up at the ranch either, which is weird. When I went out to the barn today, there was even someone else from the clinic in Katie’s place.
Even when she was at her most fed up with me, she never blew off work. That’s just not who she is.
One thing I know for sure, if I just sit on my ass in front of my computer thinking about it I’m gonna make myself nuts. Between Katie going radio silent and all my job applications going bust, this place is starting to feel like it’s jinxed.
Wandering out front between the barn and the house, I catch sight of the vet’s tail lights heading for the main road. Seeing it kicks up a queasy twist in my stomach.
The prospect of going into the house doesn’t help matters any. My sister and I may have reached a kind of peaceful stalemate, but things with my dad are still pretty edgy.
I’m half tempted to hop in my car and zoom into town, just to get away from how fraught everything here on the ranch feels. Down a bucket of beers to take the edge off and not come back until everybody is in bed.
But that’s not how I’m trying to do things these days. Everything with Katie and the baby means turning over a new leaf, and I should stick to my guns.
Mary’s alone at her laptop in the kitchen when I step inside.
Getting her alone gives me a chance to get some info on the vet situation.
Hopefully without sending up too many flags.
By this point, Mary is by far the person whom I have the easiest time talking to at this whole ranch, which is wild to think about.
“Hey,” I say. “Whatcha working on?”
“One of the beef retailers we partner with asked me to take a look at ways to help with their branding. Just getting familiar.”
“Nice.” I help myself to a cup of coffee, leaning against the counter as casually as I can. “I saw the new girl heading out,” I say, trying not to sound too interested. “How’s she working out?”
“Not bad.” She shrugs, studiously keeping her attention on her screen. “It was just a round of vaccinations today and your dad wanted one of the cows checked for an abscess. False alarm.” Boy, she knows how to keep her cards close.
“Good, good.” Much as I might not want to, I have to try a more direct approach. “So, was Katie off on another job today, or…?” I let it hang, and Mary smiles faintly, then closes her laptop. She turns to me.
“They didn’t say. But if you ask me…” She paused, then cocks an eyebrow. “It might have something to do with her pregnancy.”
“You think there’s a problem?” The urgency in my voice betrays my alarm as my mind races as to all the reasons for days of no contact. Maybe something bad happened.
“No.” Mary lets a weary laugh and shakes her head.
“Pregnancy is hard enough all on its own. Have you considered that?” The question hits like an arrow in my chest, and she knows she hit the mark.
“Wayne, I get that you’re being as helpful as you know how, but what are you doing to support Katie. Really doing?”
“I… um…”
“Because if I were her, I’d be looking for real support. Someone ready to start building a life together as a family. Not just,” she waves her hands vaguely. “Whatever.”
“Ah.”
It’s like getting splashed awake with a bucket of cold water. Here I’ve been doing what I thought was my best—is it possible that’s just been whatever? Numb tingles steal over my body and I nod slowly, unsure what else to do.
I haven’t done enough. Not by a long shot.
“Thanks,” I say. “That was, um… Thanks.”
Wandering out of the kitchen for my room, I pull out my phone again. Nothing from Katie. I want to ring her again, but I get the feeling she wouldn’t answer. Not that I would know what to say if she did.
I was adrift before, but now I’m downright miserable.
All I do in my room is pace the carpet feeling sorry for myself.
What can I actually do? The last time I showed up at Katie’s apartment out of the blue, it went poorly.
I don’t have the stomach for it, and I damn sure don’t want to put her through that again.
Especially this late in the day. It’d only mean a shitty night’s sleep for both of us, and she doesn’t need that.
My phone pings on the nightstand, and I pounce on it like a leopard.
When I see it’s just a text from my buddy Cody, my heart drops.
Cody: “Hey, some of the guys are going out for an impromptu beer. You in?”
Man, back in the day none of these boys would have used the word “impromptu.” It makes me feel impossibly old. I text back that I’m not in the mood tonight.
Cody: “Since when do you turn down a beer?
I shoot back the most mirthless, “haha,” in the history of texting.
Cody: Come on, dude. None of us have heard from you since Vegas. It won’t be a late night. One and done if you want.
Oh, goddamnit. The last thing I need right now is another guilt trip. My resolve crumbles and I message back, sick of myself before I even hit send.
Wayne: You’re on. Be there in ten.
I’m disgusted how much it sounds like the old me. Even worse, it leaves me wondering if I still am the old me. I can tell myself whatever I want, but if the behavior doesn’t change, neither do I.
So why am I grabbing my keys? I could just not go. But I’m in my car, every fiber of me screaming out to blow them off.
The drive over is like a goddamn fugue state, and by the time I arrive it’s like I’m having an out-of-body experience. I stumble through the doors of the bar and barely see any of them before I hear their voices, piercing the hazy cloud of anxiety surrounding me.
“There he is,” Aaron shouts, and all the guys lift their beers in welcome. I can’t help wondering where all this ready camaraderie was on our actual trip. That was a funeral by comparison.
Somehow I wind up with a beer in my hand, doing what I can to laugh in all the right places. It’s familiar and foreign as only small town life can be. They’re all wildly different and exactly the same.
All I can think is how badly I need to get out of here.
Not just the bar. Here.
But to do that I would need something to go back to. Even if I did, leaving Katie in the lurch isn’t an option.
What the fuck am I doing here?
Polishing off my beer, I’m on the point of making my excuses and leaving when a hand snakes through the crook of my elbow. The gang snickers, and I know exactly who it is without having to turn around.
“Well hi there, stranger,” says Vicky.
Vicky. The last person I want to see.
“Hey,” I say faintly, forcing a weak smile. “We’re just having a couple of drinks.”
“No kidding? Where’s mine?” She laughs just a little too hard, and a couple of my buddies join in just so she’s not by herself. “You haven’t called me.” Trailing a fingertip down the front of my shirt, she bats her fake eyelashes at me.
“Was I supposed to?”
“Ugh.” She pouts. “Your dad said he was going to tell you I stopped by.”
“What?” It’s the first I’ve heard of it.
“I came to the ranch while you were out and he let me wait in the kitchen for you, but you never came back. I just told him to let you know I was there.”
Fat chance I’d get that message. I’m hardly talking to my dad.
“When was this?”
“A couple of days ago. That vet girl from high school was there. The chubby one.”
Rage swells up inside me. “Katie,” I say before I can stop myself.
“That’s it.” She snaps her fingers like a trap. God, she’s so fake. Of course she hadn’t forgotten the name. She goes so far out of her way to be nasty. “We ran into each other before I went inside. Your dad and I were talking about how you and I are getting back together.”
An electric sizzle races under my skin. Suddenly everything clicks into place.
“You said what?” I shout, and the sharpness in my voice blows her hair back, but she blinks it off.
“Come on, sweetie.” Her fingers try to tangle with mine. “After everything in Vegas—”
“Nothing happened in Vegas,” I shout, pulling myself free of her so hard I jostle the table. My friends all freeze, clutching their beers and gearing up for the showdown.
My blood thunders in my ears. This is why Katie has been avoiding me. The overly made-up harpy in front of me lied in front of her to drive a wedge. Well, fuck that.
“Vicky, let’s get one thing straight right now.” Much as I try to control my tone, there’s no hiding the venom in it. “You need to leave me the hell alone. I’m not interested in you. At all. I’ve tried to be nice, but you’re not taking the hint, so let me put it as clearly as I can: Go away.”
All the fake sweetness in her face melts into pure spite.
“Why? So you can go around mooning over that fat know-it-all from high school? Gross.”
“You don’t know a goddamn thing about her,” I shout so loud the whole bar goes quiet.
“Katie’s actually done something with her life.
What about you?” Turning back to the table, I peel some money out of my wallet and toss it onto the table.
“Sorry guys. Gotta run. This round is on me. If there’s any change leftover, spend it. ”
Brushing past Vicky to head for the door, I turn back just long enough to growl in her face.
“Just a word to the wise,” I say, leaning close to her. “Maybe if you eat some of that makeup, you could be pretty on the inside, too.”
Her jaw hits her chest and a miserable gasp falls out of her chest. Serves her right. A girl like Vicky only gives a damn about looks, so why not give her a taste of her own medicine?
Back in my car, fresh determination swells in my chest.
Mary was right. Katie needs someone who is there for her in more than words. She’s about to have a family, and right now the portrait has one gaping hole in it. Time for me to step up and fill it.
Because I can’t lose her over some stupid bullshit pulled by a loser like Vicky. Actually, that’s a copout. If I let Katie slip through my fingers, I’ll have nobody to blame but myself. Time to put on my big boy pants and admit a truth I’ve been avoiding for a long time now.
I love that woman. And I’ll be damned if I let myself mess up a good thing.