Chapter Twenty-One
April
I missed you.
Igor’s words haunted me. I couldn’t stop thinking about them even though I knew there was nothing to them.
He probably meant it literally, like he’d come home too late to check in with me, not that my presence or lack of it meant anything to him.
Still, each time those three words echoed inside my head—which was too damn often—I felt something burrow even deeper in my chest until I almost choked.
He doesn’t miss me. I had to stop thinking like that which probably meant I had to stop sleeping with him because the sex was too good and it was confusing me. Between the orgasms and the hormones, it was too much.
Luckily, the sound of my phone ringing on the nightstand broke the spell of my endless loop of thoughts regarding the man whose baby I was carrying.
I stood and tore my gaze from the beauty just outside my window and made my way toward the ringing phone.
It was Kelsie’s ring, and I smiled as I answered.
“Kelsie. Have you killed my brother yet?”
Her melodic laughter was just what I needed to hear. “Killed? Maybe I’ve just shut him up with my body.”
I groaned and rolled my eyes. “If so, you can keep those details to yourself.”
“What would be the fun in that?”
I knew Kelsie was just giving me shit because that’s what we did, but I also knew they’d both not-so-secretly crushed on each other for years. “It’s mean to torture a pregnant woman?”
“Meh,” she shouted like a game show buzzer. “Try again.”
I sighed at her antics, but I couldn’t stop smiling.
“Okay fine, sleep with him if you must but if you share the details with me, I’ll be forced to talk to him about those details, making sure his technique is sound and that he’s giving you sufficient orgasms.” I laughed out loud at her shocked gasp because we both knew that was the quickest way to annoy Jacob.
“Ugh, fine. Whatever.” We shared more laughter, and it felt good, pretending as if everything was normal when it was anything but normal. “How are you? Is pregnancy kicking your ass yet?”
“It’s not great,” I admitted with a heavy sigh. “But I keep telling myself that this is for a good cause. Two people are getting what they need out of this deal and that’s what matters.”
“You matter too, April. Dammit girl, you matter.”
“I know and I don’t mean to say that I don’t.
I’m getting something out of this too, Jacob’s medical bills.
He lives and that’s what I want.” I told myself that dozens of times each day because it was the truth.
Mostly. Some days when I was feeling sorry for myself, it felt like too big a sacrifice especially considering my mixed up feelings regarding the baby’s father and the constant state of danger.
Kelsie let out another heavy sigh. “April, talk to me.”
I blinked, confused at the abrupt change in tone. “What? Talk to you about what?” Rather than answer, the call ended, and I stared at the phone in shock and disbelief.
It rang again seconds later only now it was a video call which made it impossible to lie to my best friend. “Yeah, there we are. Much better. It’s clear that something is up so why don’t we skip the dance and get to the good stuff?”
She was right and with her expectant gaze just one foot from my face I knew she could see every conflicted emotion as it flitted across my face. “Fine, I’ve been sleeping with him.”
“Him as in your super-hot mafia boss baby daddy?”
I nodded, unable to stop the slow smile that made the corners of my mouth twitch. “Yes.”
“And,” she asked with wide eyes. “How is the sex? I’ll bet he gives good orgasms and plenty of them too.”
The flush crept up my throat and my face before I could formulate an answer and my best friend laughed out loud. “Quiet,” I whispered as if that would make the rest of the mansion unable to hear her.
“Is it a secret or something?”
“No,” I sighed. “It’s not like that but it’s hella complicated Kels. It is so damn complicated and now, I don’t know.”
“Don’t lie to me,” she insisted. “You’re having feelings for him.”
It wasn’t a question but still I looked away and nodded. “Yeah, I think so. I mean it could just be the whole heightened emotions due to danger and hormones and incredible sex, but it’s… complicated. And dumb.”
“Why is it dumb? He’s gorgeous and wealthy and clearly, he thinks highly of you.”
I rolled my eyes at that last bit. “It’s dumb because we live in two different worlds, possibly different solar systems. And he chose me probably because he knew I’d do just about anything for the right price.” Which only made me feel like a whore for sleeping with him.
“Don’t even go there,” Kelsie demanded and pointed at me. “I know what you’re thinking and just don’t, okay?” she shook her head. “He could’ve hired anyone and probably for a lot less than the cost of Jacob’s medical bills. He chose you.”
“Yeah, sure.” I shook off the thoughts that tried to take hold and lead me stray. “Anyway, this is all temporary and that’s the main reason it’s dumb. This can’t last and it won’t, which means I have no business sleeping with him.”
“Except for the whole business of orgasms thing, I agree. It’s too bad you can’t just fuck him without feelings because it’s just what you need.”
Maybe Kelsie was right. “Even if I could do that normally, there’s pregnancy hormones and danger thrown in, making a mess of everything.”
She blew out a long breath and nodded. “Yeah, that does complicate things. But,” she began and stopped.
“Just spit it out.” I could’ve waited her out, but this way was easier.
“You’re probably going to be a little bit hurt when this is all over. I mean you’ll be saying goodbye to a baby you helped create, you nurtured into being and gave life to. What’s a little more heartbreak on top of that for this chance?”
“I’ve had sex before, Kels. Even good sex.”
“Yeah, yeah,” she answered dismissively. “But have you ever had incredible sex? Because that’s what you said, incredible. Not good. Incredible.”
“What are you, moonlighting as a voice recorder?”
“Hilarious,” she answered with a roll of her eyes. “Your words, not mine. This incredible sex is something just for you. It’s not about the money or the baby or survival. Just hot, sweaty, orgasmic sex.”
“Enough talk about sex. Please!” My body still hummed from the last encounter with Igor who was a magician when it came to making my body sing. “How’s work?”
“Great! Now tell me, exactly how many times have you bumped uglies with the gorgeous mobster?”
My head fell forward as another laugh escaped. “Talking to you is just what I needed Kelsie.” She was a little bit of home and normal when everything else in my world was foreign and dangerous and anything but normal. “I miss you.”
Her smile softened. “That’s it, we’re having dinner. I don’t care what Baby Daddy says, I’m coming over for dinner. Clear it with him or don’t but it’s happening.”
An evening with my best friend is exactly what I needed. “I’ll talk to Igor. Are Thursdays still good for you?”
“Yep. Thursday is my Friday. Still.”
“Perfect. I’ll text you.”
“Sounds good. And you know, anytime you want to share the sexy details with me, I’d love to hear them.”
“Duly noted,” I managed around another laugh before we ended the call.
Even though she gave horrible advice, time with my best friend was exactly what I needed.