12. Nik
Nik
I’m not really sure what we’re doing anymore. Shane and I have gone from friends to… something else, but we’ve yet to actually talk about it.
He’s snuck into my room a couple of nights when my mom’s been at work, and tonight, he asked if I’d stay with him. We seem like we’re dating, but there has to be a conversation for that to be the case, right?
The wild tangle of thoughts weave through my mind as I lay in his bed, but I can’t bring myself to actually ask him. Part of me is too afraid that I might think this is more than he does, I guess.
His arm tightens around me as he pulls me to him and kisses my hair. Then he moves the strands away from my neck before his lips ghost over the sensitive flesh beneath my ear. Goosebumps break out over my skin. He does it again, and my breath catches in my throat.
I’ve had plenty of sex with other guys, but he makes me nervous. Not just because of how big he is, although that’s arguably another issue, but because I really like him. Maybe more than I’ve ever liked a guy before.
That’s a scary fucking thought. I know I shouldn’t like my best friend’s brother like that, but I don’t think I have much choice in it anymore. I’m already free falling, and it’s either going to work or I’m going to hit the ground.
Rolling toward him, I wrap my arms around his neck, and he kisses me, his fingers digging into my skin. I slide my leg up to rest on his hip, each kiss causing more heat to pool in my core as my chest brushes against his with each exhale. I just want to touch him, feel him, taste him.
I slide my hand between us before running it over his hard abdomen, but when my fingertips find his waistband, he stops me, grabbing my wrist.
I open my eyes and pull back.
“We don’t have to do anything,” he whispers.
He lifts my hand and kisses the inside of my wrist. I feel like my insides turn to lava. It’s so sweet, but I won’t lie, I’m disappointed. He’s so beautiful, and it causes a very physical reaction in my body every time I’m near him.
“I really want to.” My voice comes out as almost a whine.
He surveys my expression for a moment before his lips collide with mine in the hottest kiss of my life. His hands find their way to my hair, and I grind against him as he consumes me like I’m his last meal.
He slides his hand down the front of me and between my legs. But just before slipping his fingers into my panties, he stops to look at me.
“If you want to stop, just tell me,” he says, softly.
I roll my eyes. “Don’t baby me, Shane. I’m a big girl. If you can dish it, I can take it.”
His gaze heats, and he buries his head in my neck, sucking and nipping his way up to my ear.
His teeth clamp down enough to make my breath hitch, but then a moan slips from between my lips.
He slides a finger into me, and I gasp. God, I didn’t realize just how badly I wanted him to touch me, but I feel like I’m going to have an exorcism if he doesn’t start moving.
He adds another, curling his fingers, and my back arches. When he does it again, I roll my hips. Every nerve in my body is on fire.
I want more.
I must have said that last part out loud because he picks up his pace and begins rubbing circles with his palm. He pulls my head back, claiming my mouth, and I writhe in his hands before bursting apart with a moan.
Shaking in his hold, I grip his wrist and squeeze around him before slowly coming back down to earth. I’m still panting when I open my eyes and notice he’s staring at me. My cheeks heat as he pulls his hand free from my panties.
“Oh my god,” I squeal, covering my face with my hands. “Stop staring at me.”
“No way. I could watch you do that all day.” He brings his fingers to his lips and sucks them into his mouth.
“Stop!”
“No, I mean it. I wanna take a picture and hang it on my wall,” he teases, and my mortification turns to giggles.
“Also, you about drew fucking blood with those damn nails, baby.” He holds up his wrist, and sure enough, he has fingernail indentations in his skin.
Well, the humiliation’s back.
I grab his arm and bring it to my chest. “Oh, I’m so sorry.”
He shakes his head, laughing. “Don’t be. I was so fucking into that. Holy shit!” he yells, crawling on top of me like a maniac and kissing my neck.
I feel like I’m melting. My breaths quicken as he nips at me before kissing the spot again, and I let out an involuntary moan as I rock my hips into him.
He captures my mouth with his and presses into me. I bow off the bed and run my fingers into his hair, gripping at the root.
“Nikki,” he growls.
I slip my hand into his waistband, and he sucks in a sharp breath.
“Fuuuck,” he groans, grinding his very hard cock in my grip.
“God. That’s gonna fucking hurt,” I whine.
He chuckles and winks. “What happened to don’t baby you, you’re a big girl?”
“It’s like twelve inches!”
He rolls his eyes. “Nine, Nikki. Now, shut the fuck up and let me take your clothes off.”
He tugs my shirt off over my head and stares at me, drinking me in. His eyes lift back to mine, now full of hunger.
Sliding my shorts and lace panties down my legs, he doesn’t break his eyes from mine before he throws them to the floor, then ditches his briefs.
The intensity in his stare lightens just a bit as he whispers, “We can stop if you want.”
I shake my head. “I don’t wanna stop.”
His lips tilt up at the corners. “Thank fuck!”
Slowly, he slides into me, causing my back to arch and my hands to fist the sheets.
It’s the most delicious stretch, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t hurt a little. He stops, letting me adjust for a moment before sliding in the rest of the way.
“You’re so perfect, Nikki. I knew you could take it.”
That does it. Any discomfort I was having washes away with the wave of desire those words shoot to my core.
I rock my hips, trying to find the friction my body craves. His fingers tighten against my thigh, so tight, I might have a bruise there tomorrow.
“More,” I beg, wrapping my legs around him and digging my heels into his ass.
He smirks. “Fuck. I knew you were gonna feel like this.”
Pumping into me harder, I throw my head back and moan so loud, I’m sure Gabe can hear, but I don’t give a shit. I grip his hair at the root, and I swear I see stars as I come apart, but he doesn’t let up, wringing every ounce of my orgasm from my body.
Just as I float back down to Earth, he yanks me to the end of bed and flips me onto my stomach. My feet barely touch the floor before he kicks them apart and presses his palm between my shoulders. This time when he glides back into me, his size is almost overwhelming.
“Shit,” I pant, and my legs start to shake.
He freezes but doesn’t pull back. “You’re doing so well. Just relax.”
I take a deep breath before he starts moving again.
With each thrust it feels a little less painful, and before I realize it, I’m falling into his rhythm and humming into the mattress.
It doesn’t take long for me to find myself right on the edge again.
So when he reaches around and circles my clit, I can’t stop myself from arching off the bed.
He runs his hand from my shoulders, up the back of my neck, before grabbing a handful of my hair and pulling me back a little farther.
I detonate with a whimper, my toes tingling.
He picks up his speed before finishing right along with me.
When he let’s go of my hair, I sink into his bed, and he collapses beside me.
“That was perfect,” I pant. “Thank you.”
He lets out a small laugh. “You don’t have to thank me for that, Nikki.”
His head rolls to the side, and his beautiful brown eyes pierce through me. No one calls me that except my mom. I don’t know if he overheard her or just decided to give me the nickname himself, but I love it.
It all suddenly feels like too much, and my chest squeezes.
“God, you’re so fucking needy,” I giggle.
He rolls his eyes and shoves me off the bed directly onto the floor.
“Hey!” I squeal.
“Who’s needy now, you little shit?”
“Still you, and I can prove it.” I stand and put my shirt back on.
“Oh, yeah? How?”
“I’m going home,” I say matter-of-factly as I slide my feet into my shoes.
He flies off the bed, barreling toward me and wrapping his arms around my waist. Then he lifts me from the ground and tosses me back into his bed.
“No, you fucking aren’t.”
“See, I told you.”
“I’m not needy. I just prefer you sleep here, so I can keep an eye on you.” He laughs.
“Yeah, because you’re needy.”
“Shut up,” he mutters, climbing in beside me and pulling my back to his front before throwing the blanket over both of us.
“Don’t murder me now, Mantis. I’d really hate for that to be a one-time thing.”
When my eyes peel open the next morning, sunlight peeks through his curtains, illuminating his room in the most peaceful golden hue. He’s still pressed to my back, and his breath skirts across my neck.
This is my favorite morning of my entire life.
I don’t realize he’s awake until his gravely, sleep-drenched voice whispers in my ear, “Get dressed, and I’ll give you a ride to work.”
He picked me up last night, and since I stayed with him, my car’s still at my house.
I roll over and wrap my arms around his neck. “You don’t have to do that.”
“Well, it’s already seven-thirty. If I don’t, you’ll definitely be late.”
Shit!
I jump out of bed, race to his bathroom, and take the quickest shower of my life.
When I come back out, he’s dressed. He nods to a T-shirt folded on his dresser. “You can wear one of my shirts if you don’t want to wear the same one you wore yesterday. I’m gonna go smoke. I’ll be back.”
With a wink, he slips out of the room, leaving me to put on my jeans and the black Radiohead T-shirt he’d laid out. It swallows me, but it smells like him, and I don’t think I’ll ever give it back. I want to live in this shirt.
Ten minutes later, he comes back and cracks the bedroom door as I’m putting my hair up.
“Ready?” He stops, his eyes drinking me in from head to toe. “Fuck it. How about we just both call in. You in my shirt might fucking kill me,” he teases, walking across the room and pulling me to him by my belt loops.
“No!” I swat his chest. “I need this job if I’m ever going to get my own place!”
Since dropping out of school, I’ve had an itch to get out of my mom’s house and start my life. That place feels like it’s drowning me. I feel a little bad because it’s not my mom. I don’t mind living with her at all, it’s just that house. That room.
“Alright, I guess. Are you ready?”
Spinning around, I grin. “Yep. Let’s do this.”
He kisses me in the most casual way and holds my hand as he walks me downstairs and out to the parking lot.
It’s weird. It definitely feels like we’re together, but I’m terrified to have that conversation. I kind of feel like we’re in this perfect bubble and I’m scared if I bring it up, it’ll burst.
I should just ask him now. What kind of asshole would act like this just to tell me we’re nothing?
I know the answer to that, though.
But Shane’s not that guy. I really don’t think he’d do that to me.
He climbs on his bike first, then waits for me to join him. I wrap my arms around his waist, loving how it feels to just be close to him. To be able to breath him in as much as I want.
And I stifle the desire I have to run my hands under his shirt just to feel his skin.
My hair blows in the wind as we drive to Dee’s. It’s not far from the shop unfortunately. I mean, I’m already cutting it close on time, but I just want a few minutes with him like this.
When we pull up in front, Shane stops and holds out a hand to help me off the bike. Just as I swing my leg off, I notice the group of boys standing across the parking lot. Tristan in the center.
Shane follows my line of sight, then looks back at me. He turns off the bike and hops off.
What the hell is he—
He wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me to him before leaning down to place a kiss on my lips. I freeze staring up at him and then look around to see if anyone’s watching.
They are.
“Don’t worry about them. I’ll be here when you’re done, and we’ll go back to our real life that doesn’t involve those assholes.”
Our real life.
I give him a nervous smile and murmur, “They’ve been telling everyone I’m the new club bunny.”
He looks up at the group that’s snickering and whispering, and his nostrils flare.
“There seems to be some confusion about Nik and my club, so let me clear it up for you.” He pulls me behind him like he’s a physical barrier to the rest of the world. “I don’t fucking share.”
Then, he turns back and kisses me again, squeezing tight before letting me go and getting back on his bike. He winks just before driving away.
Pressing my fingers to where his lips were on mine, I walk toward the diner with a wide smile plastered to my face.
For the first time in a long time, I feel okay.