Chapter 3 Danny
TWO WEEKS LATER
After the dramatic scene in the woods between the wolf packs, I wished I could say that my life went back to normal. It most certainly did not.
First of all, there was Saxon. As soon as I’d called him for help, he’d jumped into action. I would always owe him for that – he’d saved Haven’s life, and he’d asked for nothing in return.
Saxon was an Alpha. And yet I’d willingly gotten into a car with him. Yes, it was to save Haven. But after that, I went to eat with him. Sure I’d been a zombie, just barely aware of my surroundings thanks to nearly losing Haven and then finding out he was pregnant, but I’d ridden with Saxon yet again, and then sat across from him and let him buy me food. I’d also let him program his cell phone number into my phone.
I couldn’t get him out of my mind. Worst of all, the thing I thought about the most was not how formidable he was, or how brave. It was how Saxon looked. How his chiseled jaw flexed when he’d ground his teeth together. How his light eyes had flashed when Gatlin was in the shifter’s crosshairs. How his light hair glinted in the sun, contrasting with his golden skin as he’d rescued my brother.
And how his large hand felt on my back, steering me into the restaurant.
Lord. I had never had thoughts like these. Ever. Not even once. But they didn’t mean anything. Dwelling on Saxon was an aberration. It would fade with time.
Enough about the Alpha.
So first of all, Saxon had upended my life, clearly, and second of all, Hollis and Haven didn’t live in the apartment with us anymore. After four years of living together, crammed into dorms and then an apartment, not having them in the same space just downright sucked.
I couldn’t count how many times I lifted my hand to knock on Hollis’s door only to remember he wasn’t in there.
Or how many times I looked over to Haven’s favorite spot on the couch, only to see it empty. Cason, Ace, Baylor and I had more space now, but it wasn’t worth it. I knew I shouldn’t feel that way.
It was worth it to Hollis and Haven. And I was happy for them. Really. I just missed them. Sure, having the rent paid was nice. And having copious amounts of healthy food available was nice too, thanks to their Alphas. But it didn’t make up for Hollis and Haven’s absence.
Everything was changing. I hated it, even though rationally, I knew change was coming for us anyway. The six of us were never going to stay stuffed in this ratty apartment. But somewhere in the back of my mind, I’d thought we’d stay together. The concept of us finding mates, moving out, and having children was foreign to me. The thought of finding a mate made me want to gag. I would never let an Alpha have me in that way. I wasn’t sure how Haven and Hollis could stand it.
But they could stand it, liked it even, so everything was different, whether I liked it or not. I just hoped Ace, Cason and Baylor would stick around for a bit.
Tonight, I turned to say something to Haven five times before it finally sunk in that he wasn’t coming home. I moved into his spot, just so I wouldn”t have to look at the empty space.
“It sucks,” Cason said, dropping his backpack onto one of the kitchen chairs.
I jumped. “I didn’t know you were in here.”
“Yeah. I am. I watched you look for Haven fifty times.”
“It wasn’t fifty.”
“Don’t lie.” He flopped down beside me. “I said Hollis’s name a few minutes ago. Out loud. I asked him to throw me an apple.” He held up a shiny red Gala apple. “This one’s organic. Locally grown in a greenhouse.” He tossed it into the air. “I guess we should be thanking the vampire sugar daddy for that at least.”
“Yes,” I said. Luke was generous with the groceries. But I’d rather have Hollis back. “It’s like they’re gone,” I said.
“They are gone,” Cason said. “In a way.”
That was true. But I was also grateful their Alphas hadn’t whisked them away to another location. If we didn’t see Hollis and Haven at school, then they visited. We also went to visit Hollis in the penthouse he shared with Luke, but we couldn’t visit Haven on pack land, at least not yet. Eventually, we’d be allowed once Gatlin gave the pack some time to adjust to the idea of us.
But we saw each other every day, and we texted all the time, so it wasn”t like we weren’t in contact. But it was different. Very different. The apartment didn”t feel so small anymore, with just four of us there, and I wasn’t sure I liked that.
I pulled out my copy of Wuthering Heights and opened it.
After a few minutes, Cason snapped his fingers. “Hey. Danny.”
I looked up, just in time to see Cason chunk the apple at me. I didn’t catch it. Of course I didn’t. It hit me in the chest and rolled to the floor. “Cason! What the heck was that for?” I snatched the apple off the floor. We might have enough groceries now, but thanks to being hungry in the past, I was never going to waste food.
“You had your head in the clouds again.”
“I did not.” I waved my book. “I’m reading.”
“You did. You were sitting there for fifteen minutes, and you haven’t even looked down at the pages.” He moved over beside me and stuck his elbow right into my ribs. “Whatcha thinking about? That hot Alpha Fae?”
“What? No.” I slammed my book closed. I didn’t fantasize about Alphas. Not even Saxon.
“You sure?”
“I’m very sure. I have no interest in Alphas, Fae or otherwise.” My shoulders curled inward as I grabbed my stuff. “You know that,” I whispered. I needed to be alone.
Something dire must have shown on my face, because Cason’s smirk fell away. “Hey. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to tease you.”
“Yes, you did. But it’s okay.” I had to get away from Cason, but I didn’t want to make him feel bad. Why can’t I just be normal? Other omegas enjoyed talking about Alphas, even obsessing over them. In the past, I’d wished Alphas didn’t even exist.
But would I wish Saxon’s existence away?
No. I wasn’t prepared to wish that at all.
I didn’t have an answer for why.
***
The next day, my phone lit up while I was sitting in my Victorian Lit class. In the past, I kept my phone hidden in my bag. But lately, thanks to the adventures of Hollis and Haven, I kept my screen visible. With both of them being pregnant, and mated to supernatural Alphas, I felt like I needed to be available, especially considering the kidnapping Haven had been involved with recently.
If I ever decided to write a book, their story would certainly make for an exciting plot.
So now I had not one, but two pregnant brothers. And they weren’t pregnant in a boring way. No, they were both dramatic, over the top pregnancies. One of them had been deathly ill before we realized what was going on. The second had broken his arm and then nearly been kidnapped by rogue wolf shifters.
Goodness. It was enough to drive an omega mad. But even though I felt like I was on permanent standby with Haven and Hollis, if I didn’t recognize the number, I didn’t answer the phone. I had their numbers obviously, as well as their Alphas’ numbers.
A voicemail notification popped up. Then a string of texts. I had to peek. One of my brothers could need me again.
It was from the same unknown number. But the first text stood out to me.
URGENT.
Danny. It’s Zander.
Zander. Not the rarest of names, but unusual enough. And as far as I knew, there was no one named Zander at Crestfire Hill University.
It had to be the only Zander I knew personally. My cousin.
Any hope I’d had of paying attention to the discussion about Charles Dickens and The Pickwick Papers was completely obliterated. I wasn’t going to sit there and text right in front of my professor. But any concentration I had was blown. I sat there, inhaling deeply, counting to three and then exhaling. Around me, my classmates began to shuffle away. Thank God. Class was over. I grabbed my stuff and moved from the room.
As soon as I was outside, I found the first bench available and dropped my bag and started typing. How did you get this number? I didn’t have social media. But as Cason pointed out, everything was online.
I know you don’t want to hear from me, but I need help,Zander replied immediately.
Why the hell did he think I’d help him? Delete this number. I’m going to block you.
Before I could get to the button to block him, he’d replied again. Wait! Danny, please don’t block me. I’m an omega. I need help. Please. Can I come stay with you? I’ll sleep on the floor, and I’ll work to pay my own way.
An omega.
In our hometown, they weren’t safe. In my family, they really weren’t safe.
But Zander was an Alpha. We knew that already. He’d told everyone, five years ago when I was still stuck there. This had to be a trick.
My biological family was evil. I’d escaped my family of origin, and our hometown, thanks to my brothers. I would never go back. My relatives believed omegas should be owned by their Alphas, that they should submit, and have no free will of their own. Property. That’s how they saw us. A person to be used at the will of another, simply because they were born an omega.
So I would never willingly let an Alpha with that kind of mindset back into my life.
I don’t believe you.
Please let me come. You’ll know as soon as you scent me.
Zander could be faking. There were spells that could conceal his true identity, at least briefly. If Zander had the money, he could hire a witch to help him. But what if he wasn’t lying?
You said you were an Alpha,I typed.
To survive. I faked until this year. I used synthetic hormones from the black market. I’m sorry. For everything.
Was he lying? What if he wasn’t? I had no interest in forgiving him, because if he was telling the truth, he’d only been trying to survive. He’d watched what happened to me, and chosen to try and avoid that hell. I could hardly blame him for that.
I wasn’t going to leave him there to be devoured by their poisonous dysfunction.
How soon can you be here?I asked.
Two days.
How are you getting here?
I wasn’t going to give him my address. I’d leave town and meet him somewhere away from our home. I sure wasn’t going to expose the rest of our family. Hollis and Haven might have protectors now, but they were pregnant. And that still left Cason, Ace and Baylor exposed.
Going out to meet him alone wasn”t the smartest idea. I knew that if I asked Hollis or Haven for help their mates would be willing, and of course, my cousin was human. He wouldn’t stand a chance against a vampire or a wolf shifter. And he wouldn”t be expecting me to be hanging out with anyone supernatural. but I still didn”t want to involve them. They”d been through enough recently.
My stomach twisted. I’d just lectured Haven about keeping stuff from us, and here I was doing the same thing. We were a family. I would talk to my brothers and let them know what was going on – after I found out if Zander was lying or not.
I’m taking the bus,Zander texted back.
Do you have enough money? I was already acting like an older cousin to him, despite not trusting him. If he really was an omega, then taking a bus alone across several states wasn’t the best idea. But I sure wasn’t going to travel to meet him. I would never set foot in my hometown again, that was certain.
He replied that he had enough money for the bus fare. Now I just had to figure out how to meet him safely, without involving my brothers.
I made it through the rest of my classes in a fog and got back to our apartment. Only Cason was there, with his huge gaming headphones on, tapping away at his laptop.
My default position was to trust no one outside of my five brothers. Was that healthy? No. But it was a fact. Somehow Hollis and Haven had both managed to put their trust in an Alpha. But that wasn’t for me.
Zander was a year younger than me. And he sure as heck hadn’t looked like an omega the last time I saw him. But maybe it wasn’t fair to judge him on his size. After all, Hollis looked like an Alpha, so someone’s designation wasn’t always readily apparent.
I, however, did not look like an Alpha. I often wished I did. Anyone who saw me would peg me as an omega in half a second thanks to being thin, with delicate features. Haven looked like an omega too, and he capitalized on his looks, using them to his advantage, and I did not blame him at all. Out of all of us, he’d gotten the worst treatment in our backwater hometown.
But I was the one who was the most wary. Sure Cason was obsessed with cyber security, financial crimes and identity theft, but those threats were different from physical threats. Haven had the most reason to be scared, to live in a terrified state of panic, but he just… Didn’t. He embraced life. He put himself out there, working toward being a social worker.
I had no desire to ‘put myself out there.’ Even as I watched their love stories unfold, I could not fathom allowing an Alpha into my life. How could they do it? How could they let down their guard?
I sat down in the den and tried to act normal. “What are you working on?” I asked Cason, who was perched on the edge of the sofa, laptop balanced on his knees, typing rapidly. I could see lines of code on his screen, but I had no idea what they meant.
“You okay?” Cason asked, pausing his work.
How could he tell? Was I that bad at hiding? I clasped my hands together. I was pretty sure they weren’t still shaking. “I’m fine,” I said.
He gave me a look then took his headphones off. “I’m working on an assignment for assembly language programming,” he said. “I know you don’t think Alphas are hot, but dude. You should see the one in this class.” He whistled.
I tensed up. I couldn’t help it.
“Aw shit. You don’t want to hear this, do you?” he’d asked.
No, I didn’t. But that wasn’t fair to him. I wanted to be a normal friend. Not the one who had to be coddled. I didn’t want any of my brothers censoring their words. “You should be able to tell me who you like.”
Cason slid his laptop onto the coffee table and put his hand on my arm. “I don’t like him. I just noticed that he’s hot. Besides, I didn’t go through what you went through. I don’t know what it’s like. Plus, you just had to rescue Haven and his mate from getting themselves killed. That’s going to leave a mark.”
An image of Saxon flashed through my mind. I pushed it away. He’d saved Haven. I owed him. But I didn’t want to think about him tonight.
“I freaked out because I dropped a book, and an Alpha handed it back to me,” I said. That incident had happened weeks ago. But Cason didn’t have to know that. Telling him was a diversion. He’d think it happened today, he’d think that was what was wrong with me and quit pushing. And I’d be able to hide the fact that Zander had texted me. It was shitty of me, but I wasn’t ready to involve him in my cousin’s mess
Cason let go of my arm. His gaze sharpened. “Did he touch you?”
“No.” I let my head fall back onto the couch cushions. “Don’t get worked up. He didn’t do anything wrong. He was being nice.”
“You”re sure?”
“I’m sure. It was just the way he looked at me, you know? Like he wanted a piece of me.”
“He probably did.”
“That doesn’t help.” It only brought to mind images of a looming Alpha, pushing his way into my body as I cringed. Other omegas let themselves be vulnerable. They willingly opened their bodies and let an Alpha inside. I squeezed my legs together. I couldn’t let an Alpha do that to me. Not even Saxon.
For a split second I was back in my bedroom in Tennessee, pressing my back against the wall as fever wracked my body while my parents had unlocked the door so that the suitor they’d chosen could get in and mate me against my will.
I knitted my fingers together and squeezed. They got you out. You’ll never be there again, I reminded myself.
“I’m sorry. I’m not trying to make light of it again.” Cason settled farther into the couch. “What happened with your first heat wasn’t that long ago. And no one’s saying you should get over it.”
“Haven’s over it.”
“He’s not over it. But he has dealt with it. Have you thought about going to the campus mental health clinic?”
“Yes. Haven’s been trying to convince me to go for a year.”
Cason laid his hand on my shoulder this time. He was one of the few people I could let touch me this much. “There”s nothing wrong with you. What your parents did was unforgivable.”
“I know.” I didn’t struggle with self worth. I’d always believed that omegas deserved better treatment than we got in Tennessee.
Now I just had to figure out how to help my cousin.
Hollis and Haven were both buried under the weight of their new responsibilities. The one thing they didn’t have to worry about was money. If I asked them, they’d definitely pay for my cousin to get to Crestfire Hill safely. But even though they were mated, a part of me still viewed that money as belonging to their partners, Luke and Gatlin.
Luke and Gatlin would see it differently, but it was just weird.
Now that they were successfully partnered up, they’d probably encourage me to visit the Silver Moon Exchange as well. But I couldn”t do that. The idea of being dangled as bait to a group of Alphas…
I shivered as the revulsion rolled through me. I didn’t need money, not exactly. With our rent paid for, we all had an excess. I had enough money to send my cousin funds for bus fare and food along the way. But I had no way to meet him, and no one to take with me.
Actually, I did know someone who would help. Who’d insisted on it, in fact.
Saxon.
Not with money, but with the safety aspect. I just had to ask him. The idea intrigued me as much as it repulsed me. I wanted to see Saxon again. But I had nothing to offer him. Not anything that he’d want, anyway.