Chapter Three
Charlotte
“He did what now?” My friend Maya stares at me through narrowed eyes as she twists a strand of bright red hair in circles around her index finger. “So, you’re like officially dating or is this pretend?”
“Shh…” I hold my finger over my lips and glance around the room as though someone is listening, then plop down in my office chair. “It’s pretend… I think.”
Maya grins. “What do you mean, you think?”
“I mean… he said I was attractive, I said he was hot, then we were walking and talking, and everything felt really natural.”
Maya’s eyes widen. “Oh damn. You should let this happen. I know your natural instinct is to fight this, but think of all the possibilities. The work perks, the street cred that comes with owning your own personal giant, the jawline your future sons will inherit. This is a no-brainer.”
I roll my eyes and stare at my computer. The one that I should be typing on and getting actual work done with. “There are no future sons. This is a one-time thing.”
“Yeah, have you met Jake? He barely talks to anyone, and I’ve never heard of him ever having a girlfriend, so I doubt he’s just playing around. Did you tell him about the social media profile yet? He should know about that one.”
I squeeze my eyes shut and pull my phone from my purse. “I forgot about my socials. I have to delete that page.”
“No way!” She laughs. “That’s the funniest part of this whole thing.”
“I don’t think he’s going to think it’s funny that I’ve created a fake world for us on social media.
” I stare down at the pictures that I made of us together in Photoshop.
They look so real, it’s sort of scary. “I mean, I’m pretty sure this takes something sort of crazy and turns it into something very crazy. ”
“Maybe,” Maya laughs, “but it’s also endearing.”
“Ha! No one is going to think this is endearing.” I twist my phone toward her. “I made a picture of us ice fishing, with a caption that we had a great time when he brought fresh fruit and we caught three pike.”
“Oh my God,” Maya holds her stomach as she laughs harder, “you really don’t need him at all. A couple more months and you guys would’ve had counterfeit kids, a fake wedding, and an imaginary honeymoon in France.”
“I was thinking Rome but…”
“You could do both with your magic photographer.”
“I’m going to delete the page. I’d be mortified if someone shared one of these pictures. I mean, what was I thinking?”
She shrugs and laughs low as she says, “You’re creative, that’s all. Your medium isn’t watercolor, it’s Photoshop.”
“Or maybe my medium is lies because I seem to be telling a lot of them lately.”
“They’re not real lies. They’re… stories.
Simple, interesting, little tales. Trust me, I get it.
” She twists her computer screen toward me, showing off a photo of her and a man that looks an awful lot like Holden, one of the part owners of the business.
They’re kissing. Like, really kissing. Like, her hand is in his beard, and his fist is in her hair.
“Please tell me you made that?” My mouth hangs open as I wait for a response.
“Nope. That’s one hundred percent me making bad decisions.”
“Umm,” my eyes widen, “isn’t he like your brother’s archnemesis?”
“Do people still say archnemesis? I thought that was like a cartoon thing.”
“Is he, though?” I press. “Last summer they couldn’t even be on the same street without fighting. I mean, they were close, and something happened, right?”
Her face stiffens. “I know, but I didn’t choose to have feelings for Holden. They just happened, and now we’re here, and I can’t stop thinking about him.”
“Does the threat of your brother killing him for looking at you help, ‘cause that’s what he’d do. He’d kill him.”
“Well, he hasn’t found out yet, and Holden and I have been sneaking around for months.”
My jaw drops to the ground. “What?”
“Yeah.” She shrugs and twists the screen back toward her with a sigh. “You’re the only person who knows. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’ve never felt more alive.”
My jaw must be filling with concrete because I can’t close my mouth.
“He’s like the sweetest, roughest guy I’ve ever met, and I know it’s wrong. I shouldn’t want him,” she shrugs, “but our feelings keep getting stronger.”
“So wait… how did you guys start like—”
My phone rings, interrupting my thoughts. I glance down at the screen to see my mother calling.
Shoot. I forgot to pop back into the store and let her know I was leaving. “Sorry, I have to take this quick, or I’ll never hear the end of it.”
Maya nods and pulls out her own phone to text. I bet it’s Holden. Oh God, I bet it’s Holden. There’s so much to unpack there, but right now I have to handle my own crazy.
“Hey, Mom. Sorry I ran off. There was a work emergency.”
“That’s okay, honey.” My stomach churns as she speaks because I know this tone. She’s about to ask for something. “I was thinking… it would be nice to get to know your boyfriend a little more before the wedding. Let’s meet up tonight at that Italian restaurant on Main. My treat.”
“Oh.” Panic rattles through me in the form of nausea. There’s no way in hell I’m having a one-on-one dinner with my mother and Jake. It’s also weird that she’s asking. She hasn’t asked to have dinner with me in years. “Tonight is weird for Jake. He has a meeting with the contractors.”
Wow! Another lie! I’m out of control!
“All night?”
Oh my God!
“No, not all night, but—”
“Great! Text me what time works and we’ll meet you there.”
“We?”
“I thought it would be good to bring your sister too. Anyway… it’s a date, sweetheart. I’ll see you soon.”
The line disconnects, and my heart shoots into my throat until I feel the beat against my esophagus.
“I take it that wasn’t good,” Maya says, leaning forward. “What happened?”
“She wants to meet for dinner tonight. She knows something is up. I can tell it in her voice. It’s like she wants to catch me in something before the wedding.”
“No. Maybe she just wants to meet the guy. I mean—”
“Trust me, I know my mother. She’s got two voices. Mean and fake nice. Fake nice is always reserved for future pain or embarrassment. She thinks she knows something.”
“So don’t go tonight.” Maya shrugs and sends off a text she’s been carefully writing. “You don’t have to have dinner with her.”
“That makes me look more guilty.”
“How?”
“I’m avoiding her. If I avoid her, she’s going to think something is up.”
“Or she’ll think you’re being you. Don’t you avoid her a lot?”
“I do, but… I don’t know. I just have a bad feeling.” I stare blankly at the wall ahead, assessing every possible thing that’s about to go wrong. I mean, I don’t remember every story I’ve told them about Jake… mostly because they’re lies.
A good liar would’ve planned this out. Or maybe that’s what a crazy person would’ve done. At this point, I’m pretty sure the two are interchangeable.
My heart rate kicks up, and I stand from the chair to pace the small office space that sits on the end of Main Street.
I hadn’t noticed until now that our wall calendar is outdated.
I should probably get that fixed too or maybe order us one of those electronic calendars that I can update from my phone.
I think they even have e-stickers I can use to decorate it with.
Yes, that’s totally what I should be thinking about right now. Wall calendars.
“It’s not a big deal,” Maya says, leaning back in her chair. “Take off now, call Jake, have a short catch-up session with him before dinner, and let the rest take care of itself.” She shrugs. “Just act super touchy-feely with each other. No one will think anything.”
I roll my eyes playfully. “Because you’re an expert at faking relationships?”
“No, but the last few months sneaking around with Holden has made me an expert at faking not being in a relationship. So, yeah, trust me. You’ll be fine. Your mom isn’t psychic. She’s just feeding off your energy. That’s all.”
“You’re right. That’s all. There’s no way she could know unless I tell her, and I’m not going to tell her, so she’ll never know.” I chew my bottom lip as my heart pounds against my chest.
“Go. I’ll close up here. Besides, Holden is stopping by in a few. We were going to put on a show, but if you’re not here, we can just… ya know.” She grins.
I have so much to say about her secret relationship with Holden, but I’ll save it for another time. A time when I’m not panicking about all the lies about to come spilling out. A time when maybe I’m not about to blow up my own life.
“Have fun kissing your secret boy toy,” I say, waving toward my friend as I step out into the cold afternoon. “I’ll keep you up to date with my crazy.”
“Love you!”
“Love you more,” I say as I step out into the brisk afternoon sun.
I didn’t meet Maya until I started working for Blackrock Contracting, but it didn’t take long for us to get close.
I guess working together every day will do that for you.
She knows everything I like for lunch, how to soothe me when I’m frustrated, and we spend enough time together that we’re pretty good at reading one another’s energy.
I can’t believe I didn’t pick up on the Holden thing.
“Hey, gorgeous.” Jake steps down out of his truck and smiles. God, he has a nice smile. How is the guy single?
“Gorgeous?” I bite back a grin, reminding myself not to take any of this seriously. “Wow. You’re playing the part well.”
“Well, it’s easy when you’re actually gorgeous. You’re not trying to run, are you?” He glances down at his phone. “It’s a little early. I was going to hang around the office for a while and do some paperwork. You okay?”
“Ugh… yeah, I’m okay.” I pause, trying to gather my thoughts away from the thing he just said about me being gorgeous.
I can’t get sucked into thinking this is real.
Even if he thinks I’m pretty, which I’m sure he doesn’t, there’s still no relationship here.
We’re just playing pretend. “My mom called and asked if we would meet her and my sister for dinner. She wants to get to know you a little before everyone else.” I drag in a deep breath and exhale slowly, watching the fog form around my breath.
“I didn’t know what to tell her. I also don’t know why I’m twenty-six years old and still terrified of my mother, but here we are. ”
“No big deal. We can totally pull this off.” Jake sounds almost excited for the opportunity.
“Why do you sound like you like this?”
“I love a challenge and this is a challenge. What do I need to know about us dating? You said we’ve been together two years, right? How did we meet?”
I pinch my lips together, letting the embarrassment roll over me like a thick haze.
I really want to crawl under a rock but I’m pretty sure that option has passed.
“We met at the Christmas tree lighting in town. You complimented me on my Mrs. Claus sweater, and everything moved pretty fast from there.”
“Cute.” He grins. “I do love a good Christmas sweater. The only problem I can think of off the bat is that I was in prison two years ago.”
I narrow my brows toward him. “What? No, you weren’t. You were working at construction sites. I saw you.”
“I was in the work release program. I worked construction all day and returned to a halfway house at night. I wasn’t officially released until four months ago.”
My stomach tightens. Not because Jake was in jail, I knew he went to prison for some drug related stuff a while back, but because it will take my mother thirty minutes to find out Jake was an ex-con and five more minutes to tie all my lies to the truth.
What’s wrong with me? Why did I do this? Clearly, at some point this was all going to blow up in my face.
“I can be charming. We’ll figure it out,” he says, tone low as he hooks his hand into mine. “What time is dinner?”
Whoa… dinner? Oh yeah… we’re going to dinner. With his giant, rough, calloused hand swallowing mine, I know I shouldn’t feel anything about it, but I do and it’s got my head buzzing. I’ll do anything to keep this feeling going.
“Unless the whole ex-con thing bothers you. I mean, did you think it was further in the past than it was? I… I’m not proud of all that, but I’ve grown a lot.”
“It doesn’t bother me. I know who you are. I’ve watched you work hard and I’ve seen firsthand the kindness you’ve shown people.” I shrug. “It’s my mother I’m worried about. She’s a piranha and I’ve always been fresh blood.”
He leans in and kisses the top of my forehead like we’ve been together for a decade and it’s the most natural action in the world. “I’ll keep you safe tonight. You just let me take the lead.”
There’s silence for a minute and then I feel the warmest feeling I’ve ever felt rush over me. Most men don’t want the lead. They say they do, but then they outsource it immediately.
Either way, for the first time since my dad died, I feel safe. Safe like someone else has my back, like someone is looking out for me. Safe like this isn’t pretend.
Then all at once it hits me… how dangerous a place like ‘feeling safe’ can actually be.